Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 你的回答中有语法错误和表达不清晰的问题，比如“99 years old”显然不合逻辑，且句子结构混乱。建议你用简单明了的句子直接回答问题，并补充具体细节。

例: I started using the internet when I was nine years old. My father bought me an iPad, and it was the first time I could access the real internet because before that, I only used an old phone with limited functions.

提案: 回答中有很多语气词“uh”、“umm”，影响流畅度，且句子不完整。建议减少语气词，使用完整句子，并用连接词使表达更连贯。

例: I go online almost every day because I often shop online and use my phone to check messages and find information. This has become a regular part of my daily routine.

提案: 回答中有重复和语法错误，如“he he met at me”。建议用更准确的词汇表达，并补充具体细节使内容丰富。

例: Yes, when I was nine, I was addicted to playing online games. My father was very angry and told me to stop using the phone for a while to focus on my studies.

提案: 回答中有时态错误和表达不准确，如“it's a very unhealthy diet”用词不当。建议注意时态一致，使用恰当词汇表达观点。

例: Yes, I think I spend too much time online because I often watch my favorite TV programs and browse TikTok. This sometimes makes me stay up late, which is unhealthy for me.

提案: 回答较为完整，但句子结构可以更自然流畅。建议使用连接词使句子更连贯，避免简单堆砌。

例: Without the internet, I would spend more time outdoors with my friends. For example, I would ride my bicycle, take walks in the park, and have conversations with my parents.

× I remember that when I was a 99 years old my father bought me a iPad and this is the first time I access a real Internet because in that day I I can only use old old phone.

✓ I remember that when I was 9 years old my father bought me an iPad and this was the first time I accessed the real Internet because at that time I could only use an old phone.

“a 99 years old”中“years”应为单数“year”，且数字99不符合语境，应为“9”。“a iPad”中“a”应改为“an”因为iPad发音以元音音素开头。“this is the first time”时态应与过去时间一致，改为“this was the first time”。“I access”应为过去时“accessed”。“in that day”应为“at that time”。“old old phone”重复且缺冠词，应为“an old phone”。

× I remember that when I was a 99 years old my father bought me a iPad and this is the first time I access a real Internet because in that day I I can only use old old phone.

✓ I remember that when I was 9 years old my father bought me an iPad and this was the first time I accessed the real Internet because at that time I could only use an old phone.

“this is the first time I access”中“access”应使用过去分词形式“accessed”以符合完成时态表达。

× I remember that when I was a 99 years old my father bought me a iPad and this is the first time I access a real Internet because in that day I I can only use old old phone.

✓ I remember that when I was 9 years old my father bought me an iPad and this was the first time I accessed the real Internet because at that time I could only use an old phone.

“a real Internet”中“Internet”前应使用定冠词“the”，因为特指互联网。

× I go online almost every day, umm, because, uh, in my daily life, uh, we use, uh, uh, we use online shopping on and we use a phone to, to watching the different, uh, different messages or different information.

✓ I go online almost every day because in my daily life we do online shopping and use a phone to watch different messages or different information.

“we use a phone to, to watching”中“watching”应为动词原形“watch”，因为“to”后接动词不定式。

× And this is on the.

✓ And this is it.

“on the”后无内容，句子不完整，应删除或补充完整。此处应简化为“this is it”。

× Yes, I remember that when I was nine years old, I was addicted to playing media games. But my father was my father was very angry and he he met at me to stop at watching the telephone.

✓ Yes, I remember that when I was nine years old, I was addicted to playing media games. But my father was very angry and he told me to stop watching the phone.

“he he met at me to stop at watching the telephone”语法错误，正确表达应为“he told me to stop watching the phone”。“met at”错误用法，应为“told”。“stop at watching”应为“stop watching”。“telephone”口语中常用“phone”。

× Yes I think I spent too much time online because I can not stop myself to watch my favorite TV programs or browsing the tik toks.

✓ Yes, I think I spend too much time online because I cannot stop myself from watching my favorite TV programs or browsing TikToks.

“I spent”应为现在时“I spend”，因为问题是现在时态。“can not”合并为“cannot”。“stop myself to watch”应为“stop myself from watching”，动词搭配错误。

× Yes I think I spent too much time online because I can not stop myself to watch my favorite TV programs or browsing the tik toks.

✓ Yes, I think I spend too much time online because I cannot stop myself from watching my favorite TV programs or browsing TikToks.

“the tik toks”中“TikToks”作为专有名词不需要定冠词“the”。

× Yes I think I spent too much time online because I can not stop myself to watch my favorite TV programs or browsing the tik toks. Yes I spent lots of time on it so I need to stay up very late. I think it's it's a very unhealthy diet.

✓ Yes, I think I spend too much time online because I cannot stop myself from watching my favorite TV programs or browsing TikToks. Yes, I spend lots of time on it so I need to stay up very late. I think it's very unhealthy for me.

“it's a very unhealthy diet”用词不当，应该表达“这对我很不健康”，而不是“饮食”。

× Without Internet, I sometimes go outside with my friends and additionally I usually ride a bicycle or just to take a walk in the park, and I also like to have a conversation with my parents.

✓ Without the Internet, I sometimes go outside with my friends and additionally I usually ride a bicycle or just take a walk in the park, and I also like to have a conversation with my parents.

“Without Internet”中“Internet”前应加定冠词“the”。“just to take a walk”中“to”多余，应为“just take a walk”。