Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to give a clear starting point and use correct tense. Also, avoid redundancy and organize your answer logically with linking words.

例: I started using the Internet when I was in elementary school. At that time, I had a tablet which I mostly used for playing games. However, I also used it occasionally for social media, chatting with friends, and making video calls.

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and could be more concise. Use clearer linking words and avoid filler words like 'umm'. Also, try to directly answer the question first, then provide reasons or examples.

例: I go online almost every day because the Internet is very accessible. However, if I am busy or in a place without Internet access, I don't use it. Otherwise, I am usually online and available.

提案: Your answer is a bit confusing and contains grammatical mistakes. Try to structure your answer clearly with a topic sentence and supporting details using linking words. Avoid vague phrases like 'they will only the time that I don't'.

例: I remember a time when I couldn't use the Internet while on vacation abroad because I didn't have a local SIM card. Therefore, I couldn't access the Internet in public areas. However, I could connect to free Wi-Fi in hotels and malls.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be clearer and more organized. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid informal phrases like 'kinda'. Also, try to expand a bit more with specific examples.

例: Yes, I think I spend too much time online because I am somewhat addicted to it. Therefore, I try to reduce my usage and focus more on personal routines like skincare and studying since I am a student with many daily tasks.

提案: Your answer is understandable but has grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Try to use clearer sentences and provide specific examples with linking words to improve coherence.

例: Life would be difficult without the Internet because many activities depend on it. For example, I enjoy communicating with people worldwide, chatting, shopping online, and using social media to post photos.

× I've started using the Internet since I was 89.

✓ I started using the Internet when I was 8.

The present perfect tense 'I've started' is incorrect with the time expression 'since I was 89'. Also, '89' is likely a typo for '8'. The simple past tense 'I started' is appropriate to indicate a specific time in the past when the action began.

× I all kind of often use that for playing mostly, but sometimes for social media, using or chatting with my friends or sometimes video calls even.

✓ I often use it mostly for playing, but sometimes for social media, chatting with my friends, or even video calls.

The phrase 'I all kind of often use that' is incorrect. 'All kinds of' is plural and does not fit here. Also, 'that' should be 'it' referring to the tablet. The sentence is restructured for clarity and correct plural usage.

× So unless I had something to do and I'm busy or I'm somewhere with no Internet, umm, in these cases I don't use it.

✓ So unless I have something to do and I'm busy or I'm somewhere with no Internet, in these cases I don't use it.

The modal verb phrase 'unless I had' is incorrect because it mixes past tense 'had' with present context. It should be 'unless I have' to match the present tense context.

× But other times I always use the Internet and I'm available always.

✓ But other times I always use the Internet and I am always available.

The adverb 'always' is better placed before the verb 'available' for natural English word order.

× You know, sometimes when you are on vacation, you don't have the number of that country, so you don't have Internet in the streets or other public areas.

✓ You know, sometimes when you are on vacation, you don't have a number from that country, so you don't have Internet on the streets or other public areas.

The phrase 'the number of that country' is unclear; 'a number from that country' is more appropriate. Also, 'Internet in the streets' should be 'Internet on the streets' because 'on' is the correct preposition for locations like streets.

× So in this case you can't use Internet.

✓ So in this case you can't use the Internet.

The noun 'Internet' usually requires the definite article 'the' when referring to the global network.

× But when you're at hotel or some even malls that have free Wi-Fi, you can access to the Internet again.

✓ But when you're at a hotel or even some malls that have free Wi-Fi, you can access the Internet again.

The phrase 'at hotel' needs the indefinite article 'a'. Also, 'access to the Internet' is incorrect; the verb 'access' does not require the preposition 'to'.

× But yeah, I can say at this moment they will only the time that I don't.

✓ But yeah, I can say that at this moment, that is the only time I don't use it.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. It lacks a verb and proper structure. The correction provides a complete and clear sentence.

× Yes, as I said I'm kinda addicted to Internet, I prefer to use less and spend time for myself or some routines so some skin care or studying because I'm a student and I have a lot to do every day so I need to do that.

✓ Yes, as I said, I'm kind of addicted to the Internet. I prefer to use it less and spend time on myself or some routines like skincare or studying because I'm a student and I have a lot to do every day, so I need to do that.

The phrase 'use less' needs an object 'it'. Also, 'spend time for myself' should be 'spend time on myself'. 'Skin care' is better as one word 'skincare'. The sentence is punctuated for clarity.

× Life could be so hard as we do a lot of things to that is relating to the Internet.

✓ Life could be so hard because we do a lot of things that are related to the Internet.

The original sentence is awkward and ungrammatical. 'As' is replaced with 'because' to show cause. 'To that is relating to' is incorrect; 'that are related to' is correct.

× Actually I like communicating with people all around the worldwide or chatting even and shopping online or sometimes using social media or post photos.

✓ Actually, I like communicating with people all around the world, chatting, shopping online, sometimes using social media, or posting photos.

The phrase 'all around the worldwide' is incorrect; it should be 'all around the world'. Also, 'post photos' should be 'posting photos' to maintain parallel verb forms.