Breakfast— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and complete your sentences. Reduce hesitation sounds (uh) and avoid trailing off. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words (for example, 'for instance' or 'also'). Use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'scrambled eggs' not 'egg crumble').

例: I usually have a simple breakfast. For instance, I often eat scrambled or boiled eggs with a glass of milk, and sometimes I have only fresh fruit. Lately, I’ve become more health-conscious, so I try to include protein and fruit every morning.

提案: Avoid repetition and hesitations; make one clear point and support it with a specific reason or example. Use linking words such as 'because' or 'therefore' to connect ideas. Keep it to 2–3 sentences maximum.

例: Yes, I think breakfast is important because it provides energy for the morning. For example, when I eat a balanced breakfast with protein and whole grains, I feel more focused and productive at work.

提案: Provide a clear comparison with specific details and avoid incomplete sentences. Start with a topic sentence stating there is a difference, then give 1–2 specific contrasts (activities, food, independence) and a linking word such as 'whereas' or 'now'.

例: Yes, my mornings are quite different now. When I was a child, my parents planned everything and I usually ate chapati with curry, whereas now I wake up later on my own and choose a quicker breakfast that fits my schedule.

提案: Be direct and avoid contradicting phrases. State your position clearly (yes/no) and give a concise reason with a specific example. Use linking words like 'because' and keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I wouldn’t like to change it because I recently transformed my routine. For example, I used to get up late, but since starting a new job two days ago, I now wake up earlier and my morning routine is already much improved.

× Nowadays I'm being more conscious about my diet and also I want to.

✓ Nowadays I'm more conscious about my diet and I also want to improve it.

Use of progressive 'being' is incorrect with stative verb 'be'; stative verbs use simple present. Also sentence was incomplete; add an object 'improve it' to complete meaning. Suggestion: use 'I'm more conscious' and complete the clause.

× I usually prefer simple breakfast like uh, egg crumble or boiled eggs with a glass of milk and sometimes I eat only fruits as uh.

✓ I usually prefer a simple breakfast like an egg crumble or boiled eggs with a glass of milk, and sometimes I only eat fruit.

Missing article before 'simple breakfast' (use 'a'). 'Egg' before 'crumble' requires article and vowel sound leads to 'an egg crumble'. 'Fruits' as a general uncountable concept is better as 'fruit'. Also reorder 'only' for natural adverb placement.

× Yes, I think that breakfast is very essential for, uh, our energy throughout the day as it gives us more uh, energy to work throughout the day and complete the task.

✓ Yes, I think that breakfast is essential for our energy throughout the day, as it gives us the energy to work and complete tasks.

'Very essential' is redundant; use 'essential'. Repetition of 'energy' and 'throughout the day' should be streamlined. Use 'the energy' and plural 'tasks' for general activities. Maintain simple present for general truths.

× Yes, it has changed. It has changed quite like my When I was a child, my morning routine was scheduled by my parents.

✓ Yes, it has changed quite a lot. When I was a child, my morning routine was scheduled by my parents.

Original mixes clauses and has extraneous words ('like my' and capitalized 'When'). Use 'quite a lot' to express degree and separate sentences: first state change, then describe past routine. Keep past tense 'was scheduled' for past habit.

× Like I used to have a chapati with with Curry.

✓ I used to have a chapati with curry.

No need for 'Like' at sentence start; 'used to' already shows past habit. Capitalization of 'Curry' is incorrect; use lowercase unless proper noun. Remove duplicate 'with'.

× But now, over time, my priorities and my right has.

✓ But now, over time, my priorities and my rights have changed.

Sentence was incomplete and subject-verb agreement error: plural subject 'priorities and rights' requires plural verb 'have'. Add past participle 'changed' to complete meaning. Use 'rights' only if intended; otherwise use 'life' or 'routine' depending on intended meaning.

× No, but I don't want to change my morning routine because just two days back I have completely transformed my morning routine as I used to get up late in the morning but I have joined a new cleaning for working so my routine has already changed.

✓ No, I don't want to change my morning routine because two days ago I completely transformed it. I used to get up late, but I have joined a new cleaning job, so my routine has already changed.

Use 'two days ago' (simple past) instead of 'two days back' and 'I have completely transformed' should be 'I completely transformed' to match time expression. 'Have joined' is correct for recent change but clarify noun: 'cleaning job' rather than 'cleaning for working'. Also split into two sentences for clarity and correct tense sequence: past habits ('used to') and present perfect for recent change.