Breakfast— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: ปรับโครงสร้างประโยคให้ชัดเจนกว่าเดิม เริ่มด้วยประโยคตรงคำถามแล้วอธิบายเสริมอย่างสั้นและสอดคล้องกัน ใช้คำเชื่อมเมื่อให้รายละเอียดเพิ่ม และหลีกเลี่ยงคำซ้ำ เช่น “occasion” ใช้ครั้งเดียว นอกจากนี้ควรใช้คำศัพท์ที่เจาะจงเกี่ยวกับอาหารเพื่อเพิ่มความชัดเจน (เช่น vegetables, eggs, fruit, porridge)

例: I usually have rice and bread for breakfast. On special occasions my mother prepares more nutritious dishes, such as eggs, fruit and vegetables, so I eat those instead.

提案: เริ่มตอบด้วยจุดยืนที่ชัดเจน (Yes/No/It depends) แล้วอธิบายเหตุผลสั้น ๆ โดยใช้คำเชื่อม เช่น because, however เพื่อให้ตรรกะชัดเจน หลีกเลี่ยงการพูดวกไปวนมาและการซ้ำคำ (เช่น 'enough' ซ้ำ) และให้รายละเอียดสนับสนุนที่เฉพาะเจาะจงกว่า เช่น ผลกระทบต่อพลังงานหรือการทำงาน

例: I think breakfast can be important because it gives you energy for the morning. However, I personally skip it sometimes because I struggle to wake up early, which makes me feel fine but may affect my concentration later.

提案: ตอบให้เป็นระบบ: เริ่มด้วยประโยคหัวข้อที่ชัดเจนแล้วให้รายละเอียดเปรียบเทียบโดยใช้คำเชื่อมเช่น 'when', 'while', 'now' หลีกเลี่ยงการถามกลับผู้ตรวจหรือพูดนอกบริบท และใช้คำศัพท์ที่ถูกต้อง เช่น 'responsible for tasks' แทน 'in task' นอกจากนี้ควรยกตัวอย่างกิจกรรมที่เปลี่ยนไป (เช่น work, chores, study)

例: There are many differences. When I was a child I had fewer responsibilities and more free time to play, while now I have to work and manage household tasks. For example, I wake up earlier to prepare for work and handle bills.

提案: ตอบให้ชัดเจนว่าต้องการเปลี่ยนแปลงอย่างไรและให้รายละเอียดเฉพาะ เช่น ตื่นแต่เช้า ออกกำลังกาย หรือเตรียมอาหารเช้า ใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่ออธิบายผลที่คาดหวังและหลีกเลี่ยงการใช้คำซ้ำ เช่น 'routine' มากเกินไป ระบุแผนปฏิบัติที่เป็นรูปธรรม

例: Yes, I would like to change it slightly. For instance, I plan to start exercising for 20 minutes in the morning and prepare a healthy breakfast so I feel more relaxed and energetic during the day.

× Usually I eat rice with bread and that's it, but if it's occasions like special occasions, my mom would provide me with some more nutritious foods.

✓ Usually I eat rice or bread and that's it, but on special occasions my mom provides me with more nutritious food.

The phrase 'if it's occasions like special occasions' is ungrammatical and redundant; use 'on special occasions'. 'Rice with bread' implies two staples together; 'rice or bread' is clearer. 'My mom would provide me' suggests conditional or habitual past; use simple present 'provides' for habitual actions. 'Foods' is plural but 'more nutritious food' is more natural here. Advice: use 'on special occasions', match verb tense to habitual present, and prefer 'food' as uncountable in this context.

× As far as I know over the past few years, I avoid eating breakfast because I cannot wake up early enough enough to eat breakfast.

✓ As far as I know, over the past few years I have avoided eating breakfast because I have not been able to wake up early enough to eat it.

The original mixes present simple with a time expression 'over the past few years' which requires present perfect. Use 'have avoided' and 'have not been able' to connect past period to present. Also remove duplicated 'enough' and replace the repeated 'eat breakfast' with 'eat it' for concision. Advice: use present perfect with 'over the past...' and avoid word repetition.

× I don't think that there's a problem with not eating breakfast.

✓ I don't think there is a problem with skipping breakfast.

The original is understandable but wordy. Replace 'there's' contraction expanded to 'there is' if needed; use 'skipping breakfast' as a concise gerund phrase instead of 'not eating breakfast'. Advice: prefer concise expressions and correct gerund usage after 'with'.

× Yes, a big difference when I was a child.

✓ Yes, there was a big difference when I was a child.

The sentence lacks a verb and a subject. Add 'there was' to form a complete clause describing past existence. Advice: ensure every sentence has a verb and clear subject.

× I don't have to focus on what to do. Do you have any plans for today? Do you have to work or do I have to get something done?

✓ I didn't have to think about what to do. Did I have any plans for today? Did I have to work or did I have to get something done?

This passage mixes present and past; when comparing childhood and now, use past tense. Pronouns 'you' are incorrectly used when speaking about self in childhood recollection. Change to first person past forms. Advice: keep pronouns consistent with the subject and match tense when describing past situations.

× On the other hand, when I get older, as an adult, I have to be responsible for a lot of things as I'm in task.

✓ On the other hand, now that I am older, as an adult I have to be responsible for a lot of things because I am in charge of many tasks.

'When I get older' is inappropriate if you are already older; use 'now that I am older'. 'As I'm in task' is ungrammatical; use 'in charge of tasks' or 'responsible for many tasks'. Maintain present tense for current responsibilities. Advice: use correct time expressions and natural collocations like 'in charge of' or 'responsible for'.

× To some extent, I want to change my morning routine.

✓ To some extent, I would like to change my morning routine.

The original is grammatical but 'I want to' is less polite/formal in a test context; 'I would like to' is more appropriate. This is a style suggestion involving modal preference but fits pronoun/tense usage for politeness. Advice: use 'would like' for expressing preferences politely.

× I don't want to get repetitive patterns of routine.

✓ I don't want my routine to become repetitive.

'Get repetitive patterns of routine' is awkward and unidiomatic. Use 'my routine to become repetitive' or 'repetitive routines'. Advice: prefer natural adjective-noun order and common collocations: 'repetitive routine' or 'become repetitive'.

× I want to make something new with my life so that I'm more relaxed and energized.

✓ I want to change my life so that I am more relaxed and energized.

'Make something new with my life' is awkward; 'change my life' or 'try new things in my life' is more natural. 'So that' is correct for purpose. Advice: use natural collocations and simpler verbs like 'change' or 'try'.