Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Jawaban Anda sudah cukup baik, tetapi Anda perlu menghindari kalimat yang terputus dan penggunaan tanda baca yang kurang tepat. Cobalah untuk membuat kalimat yang lebih lancar dan menghubungkan ide dengan kata penghubung yang tepat agar jawaban terdengar lebih alami dan efektif.

例: I usually spend my birthday with my closest family and friends because I want to share my special day with them. For example, on my 17th birthday, I invited all my close friends to my house to celebrate together.

提案: Jawaban Anda mengandung pengulangan dan kalimat yang terputus. Perbaiki struktur kalimat dan gunakan kata penghubung untuk membuat jawaban lebih koheren dan alami. Hindari pengulangan kata yang tidak perlu agar jawaban lebih efektif.

例: When I was young, I usually celebrated my birthday simply. Sometimes I invited many people, but most of the time I just had dinner with my family or friends, which I really enjoyed because it felt warm and special to me.

提案: Jawaban Anda mengandung kalimat yang terputus dan kurang lancar. Perbaiki penggunaan tanda baca dan sambungkan ide dengan kata penghubung agar jawaban terdengar lebih alami dan efektif. Hindari kalimat yang tidak lengkap.

例: To be honest, I don't think celebrating my birthday is very important. I believe that receiving birthday greetings is already enough to make me feel appreciated.

提案: Jawaban Anda mengandung kalimat yang terputus dan struktur yang kurang jelas. Cobalah untuk membuat kalimat yang lebih lengkap dan menggunakan kata penghubung untuk menghubungkan ide agar jawaban lebih koheren dan alami.

例: I think the first birthday of a child is very important, not only in China but also in many other cultures, because it marks the child's first significant milestone.

× And the reason is because I want to spend my special day.

✓ The reason is that I want to spend my special day.

The phrase 'the reason is because' is redundant. 'Because' already indicates a reason, so using both 'reason' and 'because' together is incorrect. Use 'the reason is that' instead.

× With my special people, For example, at my 17th birthday, I invited all my close friends to come to my house.

✓ For example, at my 17th birthday, I invited all my close friends to come to my house to spend time with my special people.

The original sentence fragment 'With my special people,' is incomplete and incorrectly separated. It should be integrated properly into the sentence to maintain clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I usually celebrated my birthday in a simple way.

✓ I usually celebrate my birthday in a simple way.

The question asks about habitual actions in the past, but 'usually' suggests a repeated action. When talking about habitual past actions, 'used to' or simple past is acceptable, but here 'usually' pairs better with present tense to indicate a general habit. Since the question is about past, 'used to celebrate' would be better, but 'usually celebrated' is acceptable. However, consistency with other sentences suggests present tense is better here.

× And I really enjoyed this celebration, this kind of celebrations, because it felt warm and.

✓ And I really enjoyed this celebration, this kind of celebration, because it felt warm and special to me.

The phrase 'this kind of celebrations' is incorrect because 'kind of' should be followed by a singular noun. Also, the sentence was incomplete and needed 'special to me' to complete the thought.

× Anne receiving birthday greetings. Is already more than enough to make me feel appreciated.

✓ And receiving birthday greetings is already more than enough to make me feel appreciated.

The original sentence is fragmented and incorrectly capitalized. It should be combined into one sentence with proper conjunction and capitalization.

× I'd say that. The 1st birthday of a child is very important, but in my opinion is it is not in only in China but also for so many people because it is the first experience for a child.

✓ I'd say that the first birthday of a child is very important, and in my opinion, it is not only in China but also for many people because it is the first experience for a child.

The original sentence is fragmented and contains awkward phrasing such as 'is it is not in only in China'. It needs to be combined properly with correct word order and conjunctions.