Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and contains grammatical errors. Try to form complete sentences and use linking words to connect ideas logically. Also, avoid redundancy and be more specific about activities.

例: I usually spend my birthday with close friends. We hang out at cafes or restaurants and enjoy deep conversations about our daily lives.

提案: Your answer is somewhat clear but has grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Use correct sentence structures and linking words to improve coherence. Provide more specific details to enrich your answer.

例: I don't remember much from my early birthdays, but I usually spent them with family and close friends. My mother often organized small parties at home, which made the day feel very special and unforgettable.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and incomplete. Avoid filler words like 'uhm' and finish your sentences clearly. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific reasons or examples.

例: Generally, it depends on my mood, but I think celebrating my birthday is important because it is a special and memorable occasion. For example, my mother always organizes a small party, which makes the day unforgettable.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains many errors. Make sure to answer the question directly, use complete sentences, and provide clear reasons. Avoid mixing unrelated ideas and focus on the topic.

例: In China, I think celebrating parents' birthdays is very important because parents take care of their children and teach them valuable lessons. I admire and respect them a lot.

× I spend alot my birthday with my close friends we hanging out with in.

✓ I spend a lot of my birthday with my close friends hanging out.

The phrase 'alot my birthday' is incorrect; it should be 'a lot of my birthday'. Also, the sentence structure is awkward and contains unnecessary words like 'we hanging out with in'. The corrected sentence uses proper adjective order and clearer structure.

× Hope or. Stores. Restaurants.

✓ We go to shops and restaurants.

The original sentence fragments 'Hope or. Stores. Restaurants.' are unclear and incorrect. 'Hope or' is likely a mishearing or typo. The correct preposition is 'to' when indicating going to places like shops and restaurants.

× Uh, we really enjoyed the talk about. Daily life deeply in depth.

✓ We really enjoy talking about daily life in depth.

The original sentence uses past tense 'enjoyed' inconsistently with the present context and awkward phrasing 'the talk about. Daily life deeply in depth.' The correction uses present tense and proper verb form 'talking' with correct adverb placement.

× I honestly I didn't remember that are really much yet, but I usually enjoy spending my birthday with my family and close friends.

✓ Honestly, I don't really remember that much yet, but I usually enjoy spending my birthday with my family and close friends.

The phrase 'didn't remember that are really much yet' is grammatically incorrect. 'Didn't' is past tense but 'yet' suggests present relevance, so present tense 'don't' is appropriate. Also, 'are' is incorrect here.

× My mother often organized small parties for me at home which made the day feel they. Very special. An unforgettable.

✓ My mother often organized small parties for me at home which made the day feel very special and unforgettable.

The original sentence fragments 'feel they. Very special. An unforgettable.' are incorrect. 'They' is unnecessary and 'an unforgettable' lacks a noun. The correction combines adjectives properly and completes the sentence.

× Generally speaking, it usually depends on my mood, but I think it is so important to celebrate my birthday because. Uhm, you know, it is just special and memorable occasion.

✓ Generally speaking, it usually depends on my mood, but I think it is very important to celebrate my birthday because it is a special and memorable occasion.

The original sentence ends abruptly and lacks the pronoun 'it' before 'is just special and memorable occasion'. Also, 'just' is less formal than 'very' in this context, and 'a' is needed before 'special occasion'.

× For example, my mother always tries to organize a small party for me, which makes me unforgettable and.

✓ For example, my mother always tries to organize a small party for me, which makes the day unforgettable.

The phrase 'makes me unforgettable' is incorrect because a person cannot be made unforgettable by a party; rather, the day or event is unforgettable. The sentence is incomplete and needs correction.

× Parents Day definitely is so crucial and Korean.

✓ Parents' Day is definitely very important in Korea.

The original sentence is unclear and grammatically incorrect. 'Parents Day' should be 'Parents' Day' with possessive apostrophe. 'So crucial and Korean' is incorrect; likely intended to say it is important in Korea.

× Because. They Brits. The children and lead to something, teach something right away.

✓ Because they bring up the children and teach them important things right away.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'They Brits' is likely a mishearing of 'they bring'. The sentence is restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× For me, and I admire.

✓ For me, I admire them.

The original sentence is incomplete and lacks an object for 'admire'. The correction completes the sentence with a proper object pronoun.