Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答较长且有些重复，句子结构不够自然，建议简化表达，避免重复使用“and then”，并注意时态一致。

例: On my birthday, I usually receive presents from my parents and friends in the morning. In the afternoon, we have a party, and in the evening, I enjoy a delicious dinner with my parents while they sing the birthday song to me.

提案: 语法错误较多，表达不够清晰，建议注意时态和句子结构，使用连贯的表达方式。

例: When I was young, I usually asked my parents to take me to Wonderland to have fun. However, they didn't like to take me there because they thought it was not very safe.

提案: 表达基本清楚，但有些用词和语法错误，建议注意冠词和代词的使用，使表达更自然。

例: Yes, I think celebrating my birthday is very important because I receive presents that I wouldn't buy myself. When people give me gifts, I feel very happy and excited.

提案: 回答中断且表达不够连贯，建议使用完整句子，注意逻辑连接词的使用，使表达更流畅。

例: In China, parents' birthdays are the most important to celebrate because Chinese culture encourages us to show love and respect to our parents. Celebrating their birthdays helps us feel connected and valued.

× On my birthday, I will receive the present from my parents and my friends in the morning, and then we will hold a party in the afternoon, and then I always have a delicious dinner with my parents and they will sing birthday song to me.

✓ On my birthday, I receive presents from my parents and my friends in the morning, then we hold a party in the afternoon, and then I always have a delicious dinner with my parents, and they sing a birthday song to me.

这里描述的是习惯性的动作，应该使用一般现在时而不是将来时。将来时用于表示将来发生的动作，而习惯性动作用一般现在时。

× On my birthday, I will receive the present from my parents and my friends in the morning, and then we will hold a party in the afternoon, and then I always have a delicious dinner with my parents and they will sing birthday song to me.

✓ On my birthday, I receive presents from my parents and my friends in the morning, then we hold a party in the afternoon, and then I always have a delicious dinner with my parents, and they sing a birthday song to me.

“present”应使用复数形式“presents”，因为通常收到不止一个礼物；“birthday song”前应加不定冠词“a”，表示一首生日歌。

× I usually ask my parents to take me to the Wonderland to have fun because my parents don't like take me to there because they suppose that it was not very. Secure, so I'd like to go it in my birthday.

✓ I usually asked my parents to take me to Wonderland to have fun because my parents didn't like to take me there because they thought it was not very safe, so I'd like to go there on my birthday.

描述过去的习惯动作，动词应使用过去时态；“don't like take me”应改为“didn't like to take me”；“to there”应改为“there”；“suppose”应改为“thought”；“secure”应改为“safe”；“go it”应改为“go there”；“in my birthday”应改为“on my birthday”。

× I usually ask my parents to take me to the Wonderland to have fun because my parents don't like take me to there because they suppose that it was not very. Secure, so I'd like to go it in my birthday.

✓ I usually asked my parents to take me to Wonderland to have fun because my parents didn't like to take me there because they thought it was not very safe, so I'd like to go there on my birthday.

“take me to there”中“to”多余，应直接用“there”；“go it”应改为“go there”；“in my birthday”应改为“on my birthday”，因为表示具体日期用介词“on”。

× Yes, I think it is very important for me to celebrate my birthday because I will always receive presents that I won't buy it myself.

✓ Yes, I think it is very important for me to celebrate my birthday because I always receive presents that I wouldn't buy myself.

“will always receive”改为“一般现在时”表示习惯；“won't buy it myself”中“it”多余，应去掉；“won't”改为“wouldn't”更符合虚拟语气表达假设。

× Yes, I think it is very important for me to celebrate my birthday because I will always receive presents that I won't buy it myself.

✓ Yes, I think it is very important for me to celebrate my birthday because I always receive presents that I wouldn't buy myself.

“that I won't buy it myself”中“it”重复，应去掉。

× But when people give it to me as a present, I will feel very satisfied and excited.

✓ But when people give me presents, I feel very satisfied and excited.

“give it to me as a present”中“it”指代不明且多余，改为“give me presents”更自然；“will feel”改为一般现在时“feel”，表示习惯。

× A parent's birthdays are always the most important to celebrate in China because in Chinese culture we are asked to.

✓ Parents' birthdays are always the most important to celebrate in China because in Chinese culture we are asked to.

“A parent's birthdays”中“parent's”是单数所有格，与复数“birthdays”不匹配，应改为复数所有格“Parents'”。

× A parent's birthdays are always the most important to celebrate in China because in Chinese culture we are asked to. Do something more for our parents to show our love and through this way it can help us feel connected and valued.

✓ Parents' birthdays are always the most important to celebrate in China because in Chinese culture we are asked to do more for our parents to show our love, and in this way, it can help us feel connected and valued.

句子中“we are asked to. Do something more”断句错误，应合并为“we are asked to do something more”；“through this way”表达不自然，改为“in this way”；句子结构调整使表达更连贯。