Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 자연스럽지 않고 문법적 오류가 있습니다. 또한, 문장이 명확하지 않고 연결어 사용이 부족합니다. 좀 더 구체적인 설명과 자연스러운 문장 구성을 연습하세요.

例: I usually spend my birthday at home with my family and close friends. We decorate the house with balloons and enjoy a special cake that someone bakes. Since I am an introverted person, I prefer a quiet celebration rather than a big party.

提案: 문법 오류와 어색한 표현이 많으며, 구체적인 내용이 부족합니다. 문장을 명확하게 하고, 연결어를 사용하여 자연스럽게 답변을 확장하세요.

例: When I was a child, my parents rented a party room where my friends and I played games. For example, we enjoyed jumping on a trampoline and playing with balloons, which made the party very fun.

提案: 답변이 불완전하고 문법적으로 부정확합니다. 명확한 주제 문장과 구체적인 이유를 포함하여 문장을 완성하세요.

例: Yes, I believe celebrating birthdays is important because it allows people to spend special time with loved ones and appreciate another year of life.

提案: 답변이 매우 어색하고 문법적으로 틀렸으며, 내용도 명확하지 않습니다. 질문에 직접 답하고 구체적인 이유를 들어 설명하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: In China, I think the most important birthdays to celebrate are those of elders or respected leaders because they hold a high position in society and are valued by many people.

× We special cakes, balloons and specially made something.

✓ We have special cakes, balloons, and specially made items.

The original sentence lacks the verb 'have' and uses 'something' which is vague and uncountable here. 'Special cakes' and 'balloons' are plural, so 'items' is a better plural noun to refer to specially made things. This corrects the singular/plural and sentence structure issues.

× And it is good to me because I'm introverted person to spend time at home.

✓ And it is good for me because I'm an introverted person who likes to spend time at home.

The phrase 'good to me' is incorrect; it should be 'good for me'. Also, 'introverted person' needs an article 'an'. The phrase 'to spend time at home' needs to be connected properly with 'who likes to' to make the sentence grammatically correct.

× When I was a young kid, my parents borrowed a party room and me and my friends played at that place, such as playing without trampoline balloons and so on.

✓ When I was a young kid, my parents rented a party room, and my friends and I played there, such as playing with a trampoline, balloons, and so on.

'Borrowed' is incorrect for renting a room; 'rented' is appropriate. The pronoun order should be 'my friends and I' as the subject. 'Playing without trampoline balloons' is unclear; it should be 'playing with a trampoline, balloons'. The sentence structure is improved for clarity.

× my parents borrowed a party room and me and my friends played at that place

✓ my parents rented a party room, and my friends and I played at that place

The subject pronoun 'I' should be used instead of 'me' when it is the subject of the verb 'played'. Also, the order 'my friends and I' is more natural and grammatically correct.

× Yes, I think it is very important for a lot of people to celebrate someone's birthday because celebrate an anniversary is. Allowed people to spend special time.

✓ Yes, I think it is very important for many people to celebrate someone's birthday because celebrating an anniversary allows people to spend special time together.

The original sentence is fragmented and has incorrect verb forms. 'Celebrate an anniversary is. Allowed people' is incorrect. It should be 'celebrating an anniversary allows people'. Also, 'a lot of people' is better as 'many people' in formal speech.

× in China the most important birthday is the person whose length is high in the society and who have many friends person.

✓ In China, the most important birthday is that of a person who has high status in society and many friends.

'Length is high in the society' is incorrect; it should be 'has high status in society'. 'Who have many friends person' is ungrammatical; it should be 'who has many friends'. Also, 'person' is redundant at the end. The sentence is restructured for clarity and correctness.