Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use correct verb forms and sentence structures to make your answer more natural and clear. Also, avoid redundancy by combining ideas effectively. For example, say "I usually stay at home where my family and loved ones gather, and my mom prepares a delicious dinner."

例: I usually stay at home where my family and loved ones gather, and my mom prepares a delicious dinner for us.

提案: Focus on clarity and coherence by avoiding unclear phrases and filler words. Use linking words to connect ideas logically. For example, say "When I was young, I used to celebrate my birthday with my family and loved ones. We would gather together to enjoy cake and make cherished memories."

例: When I was young, I used to celebrate my birthday with my family and loved ones. We would gather together to enjoy cake and make cherished memories.

提案: Reduce hesitation and filler words to improve fluency. Use clear reasons and linking words to support your opinion. For example, say "Yes, I think celebrating my birthday is important because it brings family and loved ones together, allowing us to share love and blessings."

例: Yes, I think celebrating my birthday is important because it brings family and loved ones together, allowing us to share love and blessings.

提案: Improve sentence structure and vocabulary usage for clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas. For example, say "I think children's birthdays are the most important to celebrate in China because they mark important milestones and reflect cultural values and traditions."

例: I think children's birthdays are the most important to celebrate in China because they mark important milestones and reflect cultural values and traditions.

× I usually be at home and my family members and my loved ones gather at home and they're always very delicious dinner which is prepared by my mom.

✓ I am usually at home and my family members and my loved ones gather at home and there is always a very delicious dinner which is prepared by my mom.

The verb 'be' should be in the present participle form 'am' to agree with the subject 'I' in the present tense. Also, 'they're always very delicious dinner' is incorrect; 'there is always a very delicious dinner' is correct because 'dinner' is singular and requires 'there is'. This correction ensures subject-verb agreement and correct use of 'there be' structure.

× they're always very delicious dinner which is prepared by my mom.

✓ there is always a very delicious dinner which is prepared by my mom.

The phrase 'they're always very delicious dinner' is incorrect because 'dinner' is singular and requires 'there is' instead of 'they're'. The correct form is 'there is always a very delicious dinner'. This fixes the 'there be' issue by matching the singular noun with the singular verb form.

× When I was young, I used to celebrate my birthday with my family members and my loved ones. Uh, it is followed by K, it is followed by cake and mills, uh, which we, which we gather together.

✓ When I was young, I used to celebrate my birthday with my family members and my loved ones. It was followed by cake and milk, which we gathered together.

The phrase 'it is followed by' should be in the past tense 'it was followed by' to match the past context. Also, 'mills' is likely a mispronunciation or typo for 'milk'. The verb 'gather' should be in past tense 'gathered' to maintain tense consistency.

× There are 8 cherishes milestones. Uh, there are a very cherished milestones together and create memories together and laugh together.

✓ There are 8 cherished milestones. We have very cherished milestones together, create memories together, and laugh together.

The word 'cherishes' is incorrect; the correct adjective form is 'cherished'. The sentence structure is fragmented and unclear; combining ideas into coherent sentences improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× Uh, there are plenty of, uh, there is, uh, plenty of love which we, which we can take from our, plus, uh, from our ancestors and blessings.

✓ There is plenty of love which we can receive from our ancestors and blessings.

The phrase alternates incorrectly between 'there are' and 'there is' for 'plenty of love'. Since 'love' is uncountable singular, 'there is' is correct. Also, 'take from' is better expressed as 'receive from' in this context.

× Uh, so I use, I think it is most important to celebrate birthday.

✓ So, I think it is most important to celebrate birthdays.

The phrase 'I use' is unnecessary and incorrect here. Also, 'celebrate birthday' should be pluralized to 'celebrate birthdays' to generalize the statement. The sentence is corrected for clarity and proper tense usage.

× Yes, I think children birthday so most important to celebrate in China.

✓ Yes, I think children's birthdays are the most important to celebrate in China.

The phrase 'children birthday' is incorrect; it should be the plural possessive 'children's birthdays'. Also, the verb 'are' is needed to agree with the plural subject. This correction addresses singular/plural and subject-verb agreement issues.

× Uh, they owe different milestones with values and traditions of cultures celebrating children birthday.

✓ They have different milestones with values and traditions of culture celebrating children's birthdays.

The verb 'owe' is incorrect here; 'have' is appropriate. 'Cultures' should be singular 'culture' to match the context. Also, 'children birthday' should be 'children's birthdays'. The sentence is restructured for grammatical correctness and clarity.

× They have a cherished memories with their with their loved ones together.

✓ They have cherished memories together with their loved ones.

The phrase 'a cherished memories' is incorrect because 'memories' is plural and should not have the article 'a'. Also, 'with their with their' is repetitive. The sentence is corrected for article usage and redundancy.