Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more structured and clear. Start with a direct response, then add specific details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and grammatical errors. For example, use 'usually' correctly and avoid repeating phrases unnecessarily.

例: On my birthday, I usually do a couple of things. For instance, last year, I did some charity work, and my family organized an expensive party for me. We also cut the cake together, and I enjoyed the celebration a lot.

提案: Focus on using past tense correctly and structure your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repetition.

例: When I was young, I used to celebrate my birthday in simple ways. For example, on my 5th birthday, my parents gifted me a bicycle, which was an amazing experience. I was over the moon, and we also cut a cake to celebrate.

提案: Make your answer more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear opinion, then explain why using linking words. Avoid redundancy and awkward phrasing.

例: I believe celebrating birthdays is important because it makes us feel special. Since birthdays come only once a year, it's a good opportunity to appreciate life and spend time with loved ones.

提案: Try to answer the question directly. If you don't know about China, briefly state that, then focus on your own experience. Use complete sentences and linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: I am not sure about birthdays in China, but in my country, my father's birthday is the most important. My family celebrates it like a festival by doing charity work and having a big party together.

× Well I usually do couple of thing in my birthday as I really remember my last birthday.

✓ Well I usually do a couple of things on my birthday as I really remember my last birthday.

The phrase 'couple of thing' is incorrect because 'couple' requires a plural noun following it. The correct phrase is 'a couple of things'. Also, 'in my birthday' should be 'on my birthday' as we use 'on' with days and dates.

× Well I usually do couple of thing in my birthday as I really remember my last birthday.

✓ Well I usually do a couple of things on my birthday as I really remember my last birthday.

The preposition 'in' is incorrectly used with 'my birthday'. The correct preposition is 'on' because we use 'on' for specific days or dates.

× I have done some charity on it and also my family organized a well expensive party for me and there I enjoyed a lot and I we both we cut the cake.

✓ I did some charity on it and also my family organized a very expensive party for me. There, I enjoyed a lot and we both cut the cake.

The present perfect 'have done' is less appropriate here; simple past 'did' fits better for a specific past event. 'Well expensive' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'very expensive'. The phrase 'I we both we cut the cake' is ungrammatical; it should be 'we both cut the cake'.

× my family organized a well expensive party for me

✓ my family organized a very expensive party for me

'Well' is incorrectly used as an intensifier here. The correct adverb to modify 'expensive' is 'very'.

× and I we both we cut the cake.

✓ and we both cut the cake.

The phrase contains redundant pronouns and is ungrammatical. The correct structure is 'we both cut the cake'.

× When I was young I I do couple of things like as I vividly remember my 5th birthday my parents gifted me a bicycle but that was a amazing experience.

✓ When I was young I did a couple of things. I vividly remember my 5th birthday when my parents gifted me a bicycle; that was an amazing experience.

'do couple of things' should be 'did a couple of things' to match past tense and correct article usage. 'a amazing' is incorrect; it should be 'an amazing' because 'amazing' starts with a vowel sound.

× When I was young I I do couple of things like as I vividly remember my 5th birthday my parents gifted me a bicycle but that was a amazing experience.

✓ When I was young I did a couple of things. I vividly remember my 5th birthday when my parents gifted me a bicycle; that was an amazing experience.

The verb 'do' should be in past tense 'did' to match the time frame 'when I was young'.

× that was a amazing experience.

✓ that was an amazing experience.

'Amazing' starts with a vowel sound, so the article 'a' should be 'an'.

× and also I usually cut cake.

✓ and also I usually cut the cake.

The phrase 'cut cake' is missing the definite article 'the' before 'cake'.

× and also I usually cut cake.

✓ and also I usually cut the cake.

When referring to a specific cake, the definite article 'the' is required before 'cake'.

× I believe a birthday is very crucial in our life as a on the birthday we feel special and also it comes once in a year.

✓ I believe a birthday is very crucial in our life as on the birthday we feel special and also it comes once a year.

The article 'a' before 'on the birthday' is unnecessary and incorrect. Also, 'once in a year' should be 'once a year'.

× So celebrating is our birthday is very good thing that I believe.

✓ So celebrating our birthday is a very good thing, I believe.

The phrase 'is our birthday' is incorrect; it should be 'celebrating our birthday'. Also, 'very good thing' requires the article 'a' before it.

× my father's birthday is very important at the my family celebrate it like a festival.

✓ my father's birthday is very important and my family celebrates it like a festival.

The phrase 'at the my family' is incorrect; it should be 'and my family'. Also, 'celebrate' should be 'celebrates' to agree with singular subject 'my family'.

× my family celebrate it like a festival.

✓ my family celebrates it like a festival.

'Family' is a singular collective noun and requires the singular verb 'celebrates'.

× We do couple of things in there as we do some charities and go to.

✓ We do a couple of things there, such as doing some charity work and going out.

'do couple of things' should be 'do a couple of things'. 'charities' is incorrect in this context; 'charity work' or 'charitable activities' is appropriate. The phrase 'go to' is incomplete and needs clarification.