Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Жауабыңызда көп үзілістер мен қайталанулар бар, сөйлемдеріңізді қысқартып, нақты әрі табиғи етіп айтуға тырысыңыз. Мысалы, туған күніңізді қалай атап өтетініңізді анық және қысқа түрде айтыңыз, қосымша мәліметтерді байланыстыру үшін 'for example' немесе 'also' сияқты сөздерді қолданыңыз.

例: On my birthday, I usually celebrate with my family by having a big cake and lots of sweets. For example, when I turned six, we had a similar celebration together.

提案: Жауабыңызда сөйлем құрылымы мен мағынасы түсініксіз, сөйлемдерді нақты және логикалық түрде құрастырыңыз. Туған күніңізде не істегеніңізді анықтап, қосымша мәліметтерді байланыстыру үшін 'then' немесе 'after that' сияқты сөздерді қолданыңыз.

例: When I was young, I celebrated my birthday by going to a shopping mall with my family and friends. We ate some special dishes, including snails, which I really enjoyed.

提案: Жауабыңызда мағынасы түсініксіз сөздер бар ('Thursday'), нақты және түсінікті жауап беруге тырысыңыз. Туған күннің маңыздылығын түсіндіру үшін нақты себептер мен байланыстыратын сөздерді қолданыңыз.

例: I think celebrating my birthday is very important because it creates good memories and brings my family together. It is a special day to feel loved and appreciated.

提案: Жауабыңызда грамматикалық қателер мен түсініксіз сөздер бар ('leave a China', 'Thursdays'). Қысқа әрі нақты жауап беріп, өз пікіріңізді анық және дұрыс құрылымда білдіріңіз.

例: I am not very familiar with Chinese traditions, but I think birthdays of elderly people, like grandparents, are very important to celebrate because they are respected in the family.

× in my birthday I uh, just have to get a big cake with lots of, uh, sweets in that.

✓ on my birthday I uh, just have to get a big cake with lots of, uh, sweets in it.

The correct preposition to use with 'birthday' is 'on', not 'in'. Also, 'in that' is incorrect; it should be 'in it' to refer to the cake containing sweets.

× when I was turning 6 years, I did exactly the same.

✓ when I was turning 6 years old, I did exactly the same.

The phrase '6 years' should be '6 years old' to correctly express age.

× Official Date When I was 30, I took my friend and my family, went to the shopping mall and then we got to that room.

✓ When I was 30, I took my friend and my family, went to the shopping mall, and then we went to that room.

The phrase 'Official Date' is unnecessary and confusing here. Also, 'got to that room' is better expressed as 'went to that room' for clarity and correctness.

× Where it was some specific animal foods and snails, but and it was good.

✓ There were some specific animal foods and snails, and it was good.

The sentence has incorrect conjunction usage: 'but and' is redundant. Also, 'Where it was' is incorrect; 'There were' is appropriate to indicate existence.

× I think that Thursday is the most significant celebration for me.

✓ I think that birthdays are the most significant celebrations for me.

'Thursday' is incorrect here; likely the speaker meant 'birthdays'. Also, 'celebration' should be plural to match the general statement.

× It's about you and it's about my memory.

✓ It's about me and it's about my memories.

'You' is incorrect as the speaker is referring to themselves; 'me' is correct. Also, 'memory' should be plural 'memories' to express multiple recollections.

× Don't really know it because I don't leave a China and I don't have much information about China,

✓ I don't really know because I don't live in China and I don't have much information about China,

'Leave a China' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'live in China'. Also, 'Don't really know it' is incomplete; 'I don't really know' is better.

× but my point of view maybe it's umm Thursdays of elderly people, umm grandmother or grandfather.

✓ but in my point of view, maybe it's the birthdays of elderly people, like grandmother or grandfather.

The phrase 'Thursdays of elderly people' is incorrect; likely meant 'birthdays'. Also, 'in my point of view' is the correct prepositional phrase.