Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit long and somewhat repetitive. Try to make your response more concise and clear by using proper sentence structure and avoiding redundancy. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: On my birthday, I usually go to church with my family to spend quality time together. Then, we prepare some food and in the evening, I invite my friends over for a party where we cut and share the cake.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, followed by specific supporting details. Use linking words to improve coherence.

例: When I was young, I usually did not do much on my birthday, but my mom always made something special. We didn't go outside often, but we always went to church in the morning and sometimes did other activities afterwards.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and incomplete. Try to express your opinion clearly with reasons and examples. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically and avoid unfinished sentences.

例: Personally, I don't like to celebrate birthdays because they remind me that I am getting older. However, some people enjoy celebrating with friends and spending money on parties because it makes them happy.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and specific details. Try to directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence and provide specific examples or reasons. Use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: I think in China, birthdays of close family members are the most important to celebrate. People usually gather with family or friends, and some may go out for dinner to mark the occasion.

× I usually do go to church with my family and spend some quality time together and prepare some food and also I invite my friends for an evening party and we cut the cake and have a we will share the cake after.

✓ I usually go to church with my family, spend some quality time together, prepare some food, invite my friends for an evening party, cut the cake, and then we share the cake afterwards.

The phrase 'do go' is incorrect here; the auxiliary 'do' is unnecessary in affirmative sentences in present simple tense. Also, the sentence was run-on and needed proper conjunctions and punctuation for clarity.

× To be flying. It was not doing anything on my birthday when I was saying I don't even remember, but my mom always makes something special on that birthday.

✓ I don't remember doing anything special on my birthday when I was young, but my mom always made something special on that day.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'To be flying' is irrelevant and incorrect. The tense was inconsistent; past tense should be used when referring to past events. The sentence structure was corrected for clarity and grammatical accuracy.

× We don't usually go outside, but importantly, in the morning we go to church and maybe thereafter.

✓ We didn't usually go outside, but importantly, in the morning we went to church and maybe did other things afterwards.

Since the question refers to past events ('when you were young'), past tense should be used consistently. 'Don't' and 'go' are present tense and should be changed to past tense forms.

× For me personally, I don't like to celebrate birthdays because it is something that make us remember that we are getting eased.

✓ For me personally, I don't like to celebrate birthdays because it is something that makes us remember that we are getting older.

The verb 'make' should be 'makes' to agree with the singular subject 'something'. Also, 'getting eased' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'getting older'. This is a subject-verb agreement and word choice issue.

× But for some people, they usually celebrate and like they celebrate with their friends and spend a lot of money and it is based on the.

✓ But some people usually celebrate their birthdays with friends and spend a lot of money; it depends on the person.

The original sentence is incomplete and awkward. 'It is based on the' is incomplete and unclear. The sentence was restructured for clarity and completeness.

× I'm not sure about how the Chinese people celebrate but personally for birthday they celebrate all together with their family or either their friends.

✓ I'm not sure how Chinese people celebrate, but personally, for birthdays, they celebrate together with their family or their friends.

The phrase 'for birthday' should be 'for birthdays'. 'All together' should be 'together'. 'Or either their friends' is incorrect; 'or their friends' is sufficient. Pronoun and article usage was corrected.

× Some people they don't even remember and for some people they go outside, they spend their time with family having a dinner.

✓ Some people don't even remember, and some go out to spend time with their family having dinner.

The original sentence has redundant pronouns ('Some people they') and awkward phrasing. It was corrected for conciseness and grammatical accuracy.