Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Apni uttor e beshi natural ebong shothik English babohar korben. Apnar uttor e redundancy ache ebong kichu grammar bhul ache. Apni sentence gulo ke shohoje, shothik vabe ebong logical vabe gathan korben. Apni linking words babohar kore uttor ke aro bhalo korben. Apnar uttor 5 sentence er modhye thakle bhalo hoy.

例: On my birthday, I usually arrange a party and invite my friends, family, and relatives. They try their best to attend the celebration. I also receive many gifts from them, which makes me very happy.

提案: Apni uttor e grammar ebong sentence structure e shothik bhabe kotha bolben. Apni linking words babohar kore uttor ke logical korben. Apnar uttor e redundancy ache, seta komaben. Apni specific details dite paren jemon kon dhoroner kaj koren, ki dhoroner moja hoy.

例: When I was a child, I used to celebrate my birthday with my family by playing games and eating cake. However, now I cannot celebrate much due to study and business pressure.

提案: Apni uttor e shothik grammar ebong vocabulary babohar korben. Apni uttor ke aro clear ebong specific korben. Linking words babohar kore uttor ke logical korben. Apni feelings ba karon bistarito bhabe bolte paren.

例: Yes, I believe celebrating birthdays is important, especially for children and young people. It creates a joyful atmosphere where many people come to give gifts, which makes us feel happy and peaceful.

提案: Apni uttor e shothik grammar ebong sentence structure babohar korben. Apni jodi kono idea na thaken, tahole seta spostho vabe bolben. Apni uttor ke logical ebong coherent korar jonno linking words babohar korben. Apni specific example dite paren.

例: Actually, I don't know much about this topic, but I think children's birthdays are the most important to celebrate in China. They often have parties with family and friends to enjoy their special day.

× In my birthday, I usually arrange a party, invite my friend, families and, uh, relative who, uh, try to attend my birthday occasion.

✓ On my birthday, I usually arrange a party, invite my friends, family, and relatives who try to attend my birthday occasion.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect when referring to a specific day like 'birthday'; the correct preposition is 'on'. Also, 'friend', 'families', and 'relative' need to be pluralized correctly and 'family' is usually uncountable or collective noun. 'Relatives' is the correct plural form.

× In my birthday, I usually arrange a party, invite my friend, families and, uh, relative who, uh, try to attend my birthday occasion.

✓ On my birthday, I usually arrange a party, invite my friends, family, and relatives who try to attend my birthday occasion.

The nouns 'friend', 'families', and 'relative' should be pluralized correctly to 'friends', 'family', and 'relatives' to match the context of inviting multiple people.

× And, uh, I received a lot of gift from there.

✓ And, uh, I received a lot of gifts there.

The noun 'gift' should be plural 'gifts' because 'a lot of' refers to multiple items. Also, 'from there' is unnecessary; 'there' suffices.

× When I was a kid, I did a lot of things when I arranged my birthday.

✓ When I was a kid, I did a lot of things when I arranged my birthday party.

The word 'birthday' should be followed by 'party' to specify the event. Also, 'arranged my birthday' is incomplete without 'party'.

× But as far as I do remember that when I was kid, I do a lot of things and fun with my families in my birthday.

✓ But as far as I remember, when I was a kid, I did a lot of things and had fun with my family on my birthday.

The phrase 'do remember' should be 'remember' for correct tense. 'When I was kid' needs an article 'a kid'. 'Do a lot of things and fun' is incorrect; it should be 'did a lot of things and had fun'. 'Families' should be 'family'. The preposition 'in' should be 'on' for 'birthday'.

× Yes, I think it is really essential for every kid or young people, especially because, uh, this circumstance or this atmosphere was really outstanding.

✓ Yes, I think it is really essential for every kid or young person, especially because this circumstance or atmosphere was really outstanding.

The phrase 'young people' is plural and does not fit with 'every kid' which is singular; 'young person' is better. Also, 'this circumstance or this atmosphere' is better without repeating 'this'.

× Lot of people come and gave you uh, some gift and whenever you received, you feel like more calm and peace.

✓ A lot of people come and give you some gifts, and whenever you receive them, you feel calmer and more peaceful.

'Lot of people' should be 'A lot of people'. 'Gave' should be 'give' to match present tense. 'Gift' should be plural 'gifts'. 'Whenever you received' should be 'whenever you receive'. 'Feel like more calm and peace' is incorrect; it should be 'feel calmer and more peaceful'.

× Actually I I don't have much idea about this topic but as far as I know that most crucial is kids and I so often they try to arrange birthday party for celebrating their birthday.

✓ Actually, I don't have much idea about this topic, but as far as I know, the most crucial are kids, and they often try to arrange birthday parties to celebrate their birthdays.

The sentence has redundant 'I I'. 'Most crucial is kids' is incorrect; it should be 'the most crucial are kids'. 'I so often they try' is incorrect; 'they often try' is correct. 'Birthday party' should be plural 'birthday parties' to match 'kids'. 'For celebrating' should be 'to celebrate'.

× So I think they it is relationship.

✓ So I think it is related to relationships.

The sentence is unclear and ungrammatical. 'They it is relationship' is incorrect. The corrected sentence clarifies the intended meaning with proper structure.