Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 자연스럽고 효과적이지만, 문장이 다소 길고 중복된 표현이 있습니다. 문장을 간결하게 하고, 연결어를 사용하여 논리적으로 답변을 구성하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: On my birthday, I usually go to a restaurant with my family. This year, we went to a sushi place, and I really enjoyed the fresh sushi. I don't like cake much, so I usually skip it.

提案: 답변이 문법적으로 부정확하고 내용이 명확하지 않습니다. 기본 문장 구조를 지키고, 구체적인 세부사항을 추가하여 명확하게 표현하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: When I was young, I usually celebrated my birthday at home with my family. We ate cake, sang the birthday song, and I received many presents from my parents.

提案: 답변이 다소 어색하고 문장이 끊어져 있습니다. 명확한 주제문과 연결어를 사용하여 생각을 논리적으로 전개하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: I don't think celebrating my birthday is very important. Instead, I believe spending time with my family and friends is more meaningful to me.

提案: 답변이 중복되고 문법적으로 부정확합니다. 명확한 문장 구조와 적절한 어휘를 사용하여 간결하고 논리적으로 답변하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: I'm not sure because I'm not Chinese, but I think the president's birthday might be the most important to celebrate in China because the president is the leader of the country.

× I usually go to the restaurant with my family on my birthday and this year I went to the sushi.

✓ I usually go to a restaurant with my family on my birthday and this year I went to a sushi restaurant.

The phrase 'went to the sushi' is incorrect because 'sushi' is a type of food, not a place. It should be 'a sushi restaurant' to indicate the place. Also, 'the restaurant' is too general; 'a restaurant' is more appropriate here.

× I usually go to the restaurant with my family on my birthday and this year I went to the sushi.

✓ I usually go to a restaurant with my family on my birthday and this year I went to a sushi restaurant.

The definite article 'the' is used incorrectly before 'restaurant' and 'sushi'. Since the restaurant is not previously specified, the indefinite article 'a' should be used.

× I ate sushi, it was very good and I don't really like cake, so I don't eat cake on my birthday.

✓ I ate sushi; it was very good. I don't really like cake, so I don't eat cake on my birthday.

The original sentence is a run-on sentence. It should be separated into two sentences or connected properly with a semicolon or conjunction.

× I'm not that special things just eat cake with my family in the whole home and singing the birthday song and like I got many present from my parents, yeah.

✓ I don't do anything special; I just eat cake with my family at home, sing the birthday song, and I get many presents from my parents.

The original sentence has multiple issues: incorrect verb forms, missing subjects, and awkward phrasing. It needs to be restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I just eat cake with my family in the whole home and singing the birthday song

✓ I just eat cake with my family at home and sing the birthday song

The preposition 'in' is incorrect here; 'at home' is the correct phrase. Also, 'singing' should be 'sing' to maintain parallel structure with 'eat'.

× like I got many present from my parents, yeah.

✓ I get many presents from my parents.

The phrase 'like I got' is informal and awkward here. 'I get' is more appropriate for habitual actions. Also, 'present' should be plural 'presents'.

× I think to spend time with my important people like family or like friends is more like meaningful than self related. My birthday.

✓ I think spending time with important people like family or friends is more meaningful than focusing on myself on my birthday.

The original sentence has awkward pronoun use and phrasing. 'My important people' is unnatural; 'important people' suffices. 'Self related' is incorrect; 'focusing on myself' is better.

× I think to spend time with my important people like family or like friends is more like meaningful than self related. My birthday.

✓ I think spending time with important people like family or friends is more meaningful than focusing on myself on my birthday.

The use of 'or like' is redundant and awkward. 'Like' should be used once to introduce examples, and 'or' is sufficient to connect 'family' and 'friends'.

× I don't really know because I'm not Chinese, but I think maybe I think the president's birthday is more, more important in China because president is top up the country.

✓ I don't really know because I'm not Chinese, but I think the president's birthday is more important in China because the president is the head of the country.

The phrase 'maybe I think' is redundant. 'President is top up the country' is incorrect; it should be 'the president is the head of the country.' Also, 'the president' needs the definite article.

× because president is top up the country.

✓ because the president is the head of the country.

The noun 'president' requires the definite article 'the' when referring to a specific person.