Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is understandable but has grammatical errors and some redundancy. Try to use correct verb forms and avoid repeating phrases. Also, provide a clear topic sentence and use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: I usually celebrate my birthday at home by hanging out with my friends and spending time with my family. We create special memories together, which makes the day very meaningful.

提案: Your answer has good content but contains grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Use past tense consistently and avoid repeating words. Also, use linking words like 'then' or 'after that' to improve coherence.

例: When I was young, I usually celebrated my birthday with my family. We often went to a nice restaurant to enjoy special meals, and after that, we watched a movie together to create lasting memories. These moments were always very meaningful to me.

提案: Your answer expresses your opinion but has several grammatical errors and unclear phrases. Try to organize your ideas clearly with correct verb forms and avoid vague expressions. Use linking words to connect your reasons logically.

例: I think it is important to celebrate birthdays because it is the day we were born, so we should make it special. Also, celebrating helps us create happy memories and enjoy ourselves instead of feeling bored.

提案: Your answer is too short and does not provide any information. Try to give your opinion or explain why you are unsure. Even a simple answer with some reasoning will improve your score.

例: I am not sure whose birthday is the most important to celebrate in China, but I think many people value their parents' birthdays because family is very important.

× I usually celebrate birthday in my home and hang out hang out with my friends and spend your time with my family and create a memories to.

✓ I usually celebrate my birthday at home, hang out with my friends, spend time with my family, and create memories too.

The word 'birthday' needs the possessive adjective 'my' to specify whose birthday is being celebrated. 'In my home' is better expressed as 'at home' for natural English usage. 'Hang out hang out' is a repetition error and should be corrected to a single 'hang out'. 'Spend your time' is incorrect because the speaker should use 'my time' to refer to their own time. 'Create a memories' is incorrect because 'memories' is plural and does not need the article 'a'. Also, 'to' at the end is unnecessary and should be 'too' to mean 'also'.

× When I was young, I usually celebrate my birthday with my family and we often went to a nice restaurant to enjoy our special meals and after a while we were watching movie together to create a lasting memories.

✓ When I was young, I usually celebrated my birthday with my family, and we often went to a nice restaurant to enjoy our special meals. After a while, we watched a movie together to create lasting memories.

The verb 'celebrate' should be in the past tense 'celebrated' to match the past time frame 'when I was young'. 'We were watching movie' is incorrect; it should be 'we watched a movie' for simple past tense and 'a movie' needs the article 'a'. 'A lasting memories' is incorrect because 'memories' is plural and does not take the article 'a'. Also, the sentence is long and can be split for clarity.

× This moment, we're always very meaningful to me, this moment.

✓ These moments have always been very meaningful to me.

'We're always very meaningful' is incorrect because 'we' is a subject pronoun and cannot be 'meaningful' in this context. The intended meaning is that 'these moments' are meaningful. Also, 'this moment' is singular but the context suggests multiple moments, so 'these moments' is appropriate. The present perfect tense 'have always been' expresses ongoing relevance.

× I think it is important to celebrate birthday because in that day we was born so we need to make it special and we also have to get memories and we often getting boring at that time we need to enjoy.

✓ I think it is important to celebrate birthdays because on that day we were born, so we need to make it special. We also have to create memories, and when we often feel bored at that time, we need to enjoy ourselves.

'Celebrate birthday' should be 'celebrate birthdays' (plural) to generalize the statement. 'In that day' should be 'on that day' because 'on' is the correct preposition for days. 'We was born' is incorrect; the correct past tense is 'we were born'. 'We also have to get memories' is unnatural; 'create memories' is better. 'We often getting boring' is incorrect; it should be 'we often feel bored'. The sentence is long and should be split for clarity. 'Enjoy' should be followed by a reflexive pronoun 'ourselves'.