Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は簡潔で自然ですが、「which is gorgeous」という表現は少し不自然で、具体的な説明が不足しています。より具体的な形容詞や理由を加えると良いでしょう。

例: I usually celebrate my birthday with a delicious cake and a special dinner because I enjoy spending time with my family.

提案: 文法の誤りが多く、文のつながりも不自然です。例えば、「often visit them my favorite stores」は誤りで、「often visited my favorite stores」などが適切です。接続詞を使って文をつなげ、文法を正しくすることが必要です。

例: When I was young, my family usually went shopping together on my birthday. We often visited my favorite stores where I could pick out a small gift. After that, my mom baked a delicious homemade chocolate cake, which I loved because it was rich, sweet, and full of flavor.

提案: 内容が少し混乱しており、意味が伝わりにくい部分があります。文の構造を整理し、理由を明確に述べることが必要です。また、冗長な表現を避け、簡潔に答えましょう。

例: I think celebrating my birthday is important because it only comes once a year. As I get older, I believe there will be fewer opportunities for people to celebrate with me, so I want to enjoy it while I can.

提案: 答えは理解できますが、内容がやや曖昧で、具体的な理由や例が不足しています。より具体的な説明や文化的背景を加えると良いでしょう。

例: Although I'm not very familiar with Chinese culture, I think the most important birthday to celebrate might be the mother's birthday because mothers are highly respected in many cultures, including China.

× I usually celebrate my birthday with cake and delicious dinner, which is gorgeous.

✓ I usually celebrate my birthday with cake and a delicious dinner, which is gorgeous.

The adjective 'delicious' needs an article 'a' before 'delicious dinner' because 'dinner' is a singular countable noun. Without the article, the sentence is grammatically incorrect.

× When I was young, my family usually went shopping together on my birthday, often visit them my favorite stores where I could pick out a small gift.

✓ When I was young, my family usually went shopping together on my birthday, often visiting my favorite stores where I could pick out a small gift.

The phrase 'often visit them my favorite stores' is incorrect. The verb 'visit' should be in the '-ing' form 'visiting' to correctly follow 'often' and to connect properly with the previous clause. Also, 'them' is unnecessary and incorrect here.

× After that my mom went bake a delicious homemade chocolate cake for me, which I loved because there was always rich, sweet and full of flavor.

✓ After that, my mom baked a delicious homemade chocolate cake for me, which I loved because it was always rich, sweet, and full of flavor.

The phrase 'went bake' is incorrect; the correct past tense form is 'baked'. Also, 'there was always rich, sweet and full of flavor' is incorrect; it should be 'it was always rich, sweet, and full of flavor' to properly describe the cake.

× I have always been a big fan of chocolate, so celebrating with the special treat made my birthday.

✓ I have always been a big fan of chocolate, so celebrating with the special treat made my birthday special.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'made my birthday.' It needs an adjective like 'special' to complete the meaning. This is a sentence structure issue related to completeness.

× I think it is very important for me to celebrate my birthday because it only happens once a year and as I get older then there are less chances that the people will celebrate my birthday.

✓ I think it is very important for me to celebrate my birthday because it only happens once a year, and as I get older, there are fewer chances that people will celebrate my birthday.

'Less chances' is incorrect; 'fewer chances' should be used with countable nouns like 'chances'. Also, 'the people' is incorrect here; it should be just 'people'. Commas are added for clarity.

× Just like now when I'm really young and like when I'm a child.

✓ Just like now when I'm really young, and like when I was a child.

The phrase 'like when I'm a child' is inconsistent with the past time reference; it should be 'like when I was a child.' Also, the sentence is a fragment and needs to be connected properly.

× I'm not very familiar with Chinese culture since I've never been there, but I think the most important birthday to celebrate might be the mother's birthday, and many cultures and mothers are highly respected, so it makes sense that their birthday would be special.

✓ I'm not very familiar with Chinese culture since I've never been there, but I think the most important birthday to celebrate might be the mother's birthday, as mothers are highly respected in many cultures, so it makes sense that their birthday would be special.

The phrase 'many cultures and mothers are highly respected' is confusing and incorrect. It should be 'mothers are highly respected in many cultures' to clarify the meaning and correct pronoun use.