Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors, such as 'followed by change' and 'It's cherished for to cherish the tradition.' To improve, make sure your sentences are grammatically correct and clear. Also, avoid redundancy and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas logically.

例: I usually celebrate my birthday with a small family gathering at home. We enjoy a special dinner together, and afterwards, we share stories and laugh. This tradition is very important to me because it brings us closer.

提案: Your answer has several unclear phrases and grammatical mistakes, such as 'My parents would quit my favorite food' and 'we had have a change it's.' To improve, focus on clear and correct sentence structure, and provide specific details about your childhood birthday celebrations. Use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: When I was young, my family usually held a small gathering at home for my birthday. My parents prepared my favorite food, and we played games together. It was always a warm and cozy time that I enjoyed very much.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and contains grammatical errors, such as 'to gathering' and 'indicate the past year and we can set.' To improve, complete your thoughts clearly, use correct grammar, and add specific reasons why celebrating birthdays is important. Use linking words to connect your ideas.

例: I firmly believe that celebrating birthdays is important because it marks a personal milestone. Moreover, it is a wonderful occasion to gather with family and friends. It also gives us a chance to reflect on the past year and set goals for the future.

提案: Your answer does not directly address the question about whose birthday is most important to celebrate in China. Also, there are grammatical errors and repetition. To improve, answer the question directly, provide specific cultural context or opinions, and use clear, grammatically correct sentences with linking words.

例: In China, I think the most important birthdays to celebrate are those of elders, such as parents and grandparents. These celebrations show respect and appreciation for their wisdom and contributions to the family.

× We enjoy a special dinner followed by change.

✓ We enjoy a special dinner followed by dancing.

The word 'change' is incorrect here; the intended meaning is likely an activity involving movement or celebration, such as 'dancing'. The verb form '-ing' is needed to indicate the activity following the dinner.

× It's cherished for to cherish the tradition, for us to share a story and laugh together.

✓ It's cherished to keep the tradition, for us to share stories and laugh together.

The phrase 'for to cherish' is incorrect; the correct infinitive form is 'to keep' or 'to cherish' without 'for'. Also, 'share a story' should be plural 'share stories' to indicate multiple instances, and the sentence structure is improved for clarity.

× My parents would quit my favorite food and we had have a change it's.

✓ My parents would cook my favorite food and we had a cake.

The word 'quit' is incorrect; the intended verb is 'cook' in past tense. 'Had have a change it's' is ungrammatical; likely meant 'had a cake'. Correct past tense verbs and proper noun usage are necessary.

× I firmly believe celebrating birthday is crucial as it marks personal milestone and it's a wonderful occasion to gathering with the family and friends and indicate the past year and we can set.

✓ I firmly believe celebrating birthdays is crucial as it marks a personal milestone and it's a wonderful occasion to gather with family and friends, reflect on the past year, and set goals.

The phrase 'to gathering' is incorrect; the infinitive 'to gather' should be used. 'Celebrate birthday' should be plural 'celebrating birthdays'. 'Indicate the past year' is unclear; 'reflect on the past year' is more appropriate. The sentence is restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× It's nice to celebrate your own birthday and it's a good chance, good chance to think about what you have achieved and have to fun.

✓ It's nice to celebrate your own birthday and it's a good chance to think about what you have achieved and have fun.

The phrase 'have to fun' is incorrect; it should be 'have fun'. The repetition 'good chance, good chance' is redundant and removed for clarity.