Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it could be improved by avoiding redundancy and using more precise vocabulary. For example, instead of saying "full blast party," you could say "a lively celebration." Also, try to use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly, such as "First," "Then," and "Finally."

例: On my birthday, I usually celebrate with close friends and family. First, we gather for a lively celebration where we cut the cake and play board games. Then, we go out for a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant to end the day.

提案: Your answer provides interesting details but lacks clarity and has some grammatical errors. Try to avoid run-on sentences and incomplete thoughts. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to explain reasons clearly. Also, finish your sentences fully to avoid confusion.

例: When I was young, I celebrated my birthday with my school friends. Our school had a tradition where we wore uniforms every day, but on our birthday, we could wear whatever we wanted. I always looked forward to that day because I could dress up nicely and show off my style.

提案: Your answer expresses a good opinion but contains some awkward phrasing and grammatical mistakes. Try to use clearer sentence structures and avoid repetition. Also, use linking words like "because" and "although" to connect your ideas logically.

例: Yes, I think it is important to celebrate my birthday because it is a special day to celebrate myself. Although we should value ourselves every day, the birthday is unique because everyone else also acknowledges and celebrates us.

提案: Try to provide a more developed answer even if you are unsure. You can express your opinion or mention common cultural practices. Using linking words and giving examples will improve your response.

例: I'm not sure whose birthday is considered the most important in China, but I think that celebrating the birthdays of close family members, like parents or grandparents, is very common and important in Chinese culture.

× On my special day we all gather and have a full blast party.

✓ On my special day, we all gather and have a full-blast party.

The phrase 'full blast' should be hyphenated when used as a compound adjective before a noun, so 'full-blast party' is correct. Also, a comma after 'day' improves sentence clarity.

× ...and then we go for some nice dinner somewhere, some fancy place.

✓ ...and then we go for a nice dinner somewhere, some fancy place.

The word 'dinner' is a countable noun in this context and should be preceded by the article 'a' rather than 'some'.

× ...although we had to wear school uniforms daily, but birthday was the only day we were allowed to wear whatever we want.

✓ ...although we had to wear school uniforms daily, birthday was the only day we were allowed to wear whatever we wanted.

Using both 'although' and 'but' together is redundant. Also, the verb tense should be consistent; 'wanted' matches the past context.

× So I always looked forward for that day so I can dress up nicely and show off my style to my.

✓ So I always looked forward to that day so I could dress up nicely and show off my style.

The correct phrase is 'looked forward to' not 'looked forward for'. Also, 'could' fits better with the past tense narrative. The sentence ends abruptly with 'to my' which is incomplete and should be omitted.

× Yes, for me its important to celebrate the birthday because there should be at least one day when you can celebrate yourself.

✓ Yes, for me it's important to celebrate my birthday because there should be at least one day when you can celebrate yourself.

The contraction 'it's' requires an apostrophe. Also, 'the birthday' should be 'my birthday' to specify the subject. This clarifies the meaning.

× ...but the birthday is the only day when everyone else treats us as a we are.

✓ ...but the birthday is the only day when everyone else treats us as we are.

The phrase 'as a we are' is incorrect. The correct phrase is 'as we are' without the article 'a'.