Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrases, such as "hanging out with clothes" and "my the closest of my friends." To improve, try to use clear and correct expressions, avoid redundancy, and organise your answer logically with linking words. Also, keep your answer concise within 5 sentences.

例: Now that I am an adult, I usually celebrate my birthday by inviting close family members and friends to my house. We enjoy home-cooked meals together, which I prepare myself. This way, I can spend quality time with them in a comfortable environment.

提案: Your answer is quite confusing and contains many unclear phrases and grammatical mistakes. To improve, focus on giving a clear and direct response with correct sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific details about your childhood birthday celebrations.

例: When I was young, my parents invited our relatives, friends, neighbours, and church elders to celebrate my birthday. We all gathered together and enjoyed a big feast, which made the occasion very special.

提案: Your answer is generally good but can be improved by correcting some awkward phrases like "store gratefulness" and by using more natural expressions. Also, try to use linking words to make your answer more coherent and avoid repeating "also".

例: Absolutely. Celebrating a birthday is a significant milestone. It is an opportunity to express gratitude to the people around us, reflect on the past year, and make plans for a better future.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains some incorrect or confusing phrases like "ruling ma'am" and "Prime Minister Zipping." To improve, provide a clear and relevant answer with correct vocabulary and grammar. Also, explain why certain birthdays are important in China, using linking words to connect your ideas.

例: In China, the most important birthdays to celebrate are usually those of elders and family members, as respecting elders is a key cultural value. Additionally, significant public figures' birthdays may also be observed, but family celebrations are more common.

× Now I like hanging out with clothes, family members and my the closest of my friends so I like having them over in my H house and eating food which is prepared by me and having a good quality.

✓ Now I like hanging out with close family members and my closest friends, so I like having them over in my house and eating food which is prepared by me and having good quality time.

The word 'clothes' is incorrect here; it should be 'close' to describe family members. Also, 'my the closest of my friends' is redundant and incorrect; it should be 'my closest friends'. 'H house' seems to be a typo and should be 'my house'. The phrase 'having a good quality' is incomplete and should be 'having good quality time'. These corrections fix plural and singular usage and improve clarity.

× When I was young, my bodies were was we removed a family of you.

✓ When I was young, my family was a close-knit group.

The phrase 'my bodies were was we removed a family of you' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. 'Bodies' is plural and incorrect here; it should be 'family' which is singular. The sentence is restructured to convey the intended meaning clearly and correctly.

× So my parents assumed white my my friends and the kids in the neighborhood and also the church elders.

✓ So my parents invited my friends, the kids in the neighborhood, and also the church elders.

The phrase 'assumed white my my friends' is incorrect and unclear. 'Assumed' is the wrong verb; 'invited' fits the context. Repetition of 'my' is an error. The sentence is corrected to use proper pronouns and verbs for clarity.

× So like I said, we all come together and there would be a big feast.

✓ So like I said, we all came together and there was a big feast.

The sentence refers to a past event, so the verbs should be in past tense. 'Come' should be 'came' and 'would be' should be 'was'. This also relates to past tense issue but primarily singular/plural verb agreement.

× Having a birthday to celebrate is a big milestone, one way to store gratefulness to people who are around us in the previous years, and also a good time to reflect on what has gone by and also to make plans for a better living in the coming days.

✓ Having a birthday to celebrate is a big milestone, one way to show gratitude to people who have been around us in previous years, and also a good time to reflect on what has passed and to make plans for better living in the coming days.

The phrase 'store gratefulness' is incorrect; it should be 'show gratitude'. 'The previous years' is better expressed as 'previous years'. 'What has gone by' is better as 'what has passed'. These corrections improve the use of quantifiers and expressions.

× I believe the ruling ma'am, the the ruling leader, Prime Minister Zipping and also I'm sure they also celebrate most of the birthdays of their children and celebration is a big thing in China.

✓ I believe the ruling ma'am, the ruling leader, Prime Minister Xi Jinping, and I'm sure they also celebrate most of the birthdays of their children. Celebration is a big thing in China.

The phrase 'the the ruling leader' has a repeated article 'the'. The name 'Zipping' is likely a mispronunciation or typo of 'Xi Jinping'. The sentence is corrected for proper noun usage and pronoun clarity.