Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use correct tense consistently and avoid repetition. Structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words for coherence. For example, start by stating what you usually do, then explain how your family celebrates and the significance of the worship.

例: On my birthday, I usually celebrate with my close friends and family. My parents invite my friends, and we have a grand celebration. Additionally, we perform a worship ceremony to pray for my future, which is very meaningful to us.

提案: Use past tense consistently when talking about past events. Avoid redundancy and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Be specific about your actions and their significance.

例: When I was young, I celebrated my birthday with my close friends. My parents invited them over, and we had dinner together. Moreover, I donated new clothes to poor people and celebrated with them, which made the day special.

提案: Avoid repetition and grammatical errors. Provide clear reasons with linking words to support your opinion. Use precise vocabulary to express your ideas effectively.

例: Yes, I believe it is important to celebrate birthdays because it marks the day a person was born. Furthermore, celebrating helps people appreciate their growth and unique personalities.

提案: Try to answer the question directly even if you are unsure. You can mention your knowledge and then relate it to the question. Use correct grammar and avoid unclear phrases.

例: I am not very familiar with birthdays celebrated in China. However, in India, we celebrate the birthday of Mahatma Gandhi on 2nd October with great joy because he was a famous freedom fighter who helped India gain independence.

× I celebrated my birthday with my close friends and family family friends as my mother and father invited my friends and celebrate my birthday in a grand way.

✓ I celebrated my birthday with my close friends and family as my mother and father invited my friends and celebrated my birthday in a grand way.

The verb 'celebrate' should be in the past tense 'celebrated' to match the past tense context of the sentence. Using 'celebrate' in present tense here is incorrect because the action happened in the past.

× They celebrate my birthday as doing worship of God and pray for me for my future.

✓ They celebrated my birthday by doing worship of God and praying for me for my future.

The verbs 'celebrate' and 'pray' should be in past tense 'celebrated' and 'praying' respectively to maintain consistency with the past tense narration. Also, 'doing worship' is better expressed as 'by doing worship' or 'by worshipping'.

× When I was young, I celebrate my birthday with my close friend.

✓ When I was young, I celebrated my birthday with my close friend.

The verb 'celebrate' should be in past tense 'celebrated' because the sentence refers to a past time ('when I was young'). Using present tense here is incorrect.

× As I have already told you, my parents invited them and have a dinner with them as well as I donated some new clothes to poor people who need them and celebrate with them also.

✓ As I have already told you, my parents invited them and had dinner with them as well as I donated some new clothes to poor people who needed them and celebrated with them also.

The verbs 'have', 'need', and 'celebrate' should be in past tense 'had', 'needed', and 'celebrated' to maintain past tense consistency. 'Have a dinner' is incorrect; it should be 'had dinner'. Also, 'need' should be 'needed' to match past context.

× Yes, absolutely it is very important for everyone to celebrate their birthday.

✓ Yes, absolutely it is very important for everyone to celebrate their birthdays.

The word 'birthday' should be plural 'birthdays' because 'everyone' refers to multiple people, each having their own birthday.

× It is the one one day when mother give birth to their babies.

✓ It is the one day when a mother gives birth to her baby.

'Mother' should be singular with an article 'a', and the verb should be 'gives' to agree with singular subject. 'Their babies' is incorrect here; it should be 'her baby' to match singular subject.

× As well as everyone should should celebrate this day with a grand function as everyone has grown with their different personality.

✓ As well as everyone should celebrate this day with a grand function as everyone has grown with their different personalities.

The word 'should' is repeated unnecessarily. Also, 'personality' should be plural 'personalities' because it refers to multiple people.

× I don't know this question as I don't aware of China but in India the birth of Mahatma Gandhi celebrated with joy and full in disaster on 2nd October as he was the freedom fighter who fought from British to 4.

✓ I don't know about this question as I am not aware of China but in India the birth of Mahatma Gandhi is celebrated with joy and full enthusiasm on 2nd October as he was the freedom fighter who fought against the British.

'Don't aware' is incorrect; it should be 'am not aware'. 'Birth of Mahatma Gandhi celebrated' needs 'is' to form passive voice. 'Full in disaster' is incorrect; 'full enthusiasm' or 'full of joy' is appropriate. 'Fought from British to 4' is incorrect; it should be 'fought against the British'. Also, 'know this question' should be 'know about this question'.