Relax— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure. For example, use linking words to connect ideas and correct grammar errors such as 'more relaxable' to 'more relaxing'.

例: Recently, I relax by playing football because it helps me forget my problems and unwind after a busy day. However, sometimes I get so absorbed that I neglect other responsibilities.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and has grammatical errors. Use clear sentence structure and correct pronouns. Also, use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: I usually relax with my close friends and family. We often catch up, hang out, and spend quality time together.

提案: Your answer is good but could be improved by correcting grammar and making sentences more concise. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Absolutely, I find listening to music very relaxing because it helps me relieve stress after a busy day. When I listen to calm melodies or classical music, I feel peaceful and happy.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and slightly confusing. Avoid repeating information and clarify your points. Use linking words to improve coherence.

例: To relax, I usually play football with my friends. Sometimes, I also hang out and catch up with them, which I find very enjoyable.

× Actually I relax by playing football.

✓ Actually, I relax by playing football.

A comma is needed after 'Actually' to separate the introductory adverb from the main clause, improving sentence clarity and flow.

× Since playing football I can easily forget any problems and sometimes I neglect other responsibilities because of it, so I find it more relaxable.

✓ Since playing football, I can easily forget any problems and sometimes neglect other responsibilities because of it, so I find it more relaxing.

A comma is required after 'Since playing football' as an introductory phrase. 'Relaxable' is not a correct adjective; the correct form is 'relaxing' to describe something that causes relaxation.

× After a busy day.

✓ After a busy day, I relax by playing football.

The phrase 'After a busy day.' is a sentence fragment lacking a main verb and subject. It should be connected to a complete sentence to convey a full idea.

× Frequently I relax with loved ones, friends and they're close to me people, so we catch up and sometimes hang out and spend good time with him.

✓ Frequently, I relax with loved ones and friends who are close to me, so we catch up, sometimes hang out, and spend good time together.

The phrase 'they're close to me people' is incorrect; it should be 'friends who are close to me'. Also, 'spend good time with him' is incorrect because 'him' does not agree with the plural subject; 'together' is more appropriate.

× Absolutely, I find that listening to music is very relaxing since it helps me relieve stress after busy day and when I listen to calm melodies or classical music it makes I have a feeling of peaceful and happiness and it helps me.

✓ Absolutely, I find that listening to music is very relaxing since it helps me relieve stress after a busy day, and when I listen to calm melodies or classical music, it makes me feel peaceful and happy, and it helps me.

A comma is needed after 'after a busy day' and 'classical music' to separate clauses. 'It makes I have a feeling of peaceful and happiness' is incorrect; the correct form is 'it makes me feel peaceful and happy'. Also, 'peaceful' and 'happy' are adjectives describing feelings, not nouns.

× As I mentioned, to relax I play football with my friends or occasionally I hang out and catch up with my loved one, I mean with my friends, so I find it very relaxing.

✓ As I mentioned, to relax I play football with my friends or occasionally hang out and catch up with my loved ones, I mean with my friends, so I find it very relaxing.

The phrase 'my loved one' should be plural 'my loved ones' to match the context of friends and plural relationships. Also, 'I hang out and catch up' is better without repeating 'I' for smoother flow.