Relax— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid filler words like 'umm' and 'uh' to make your speech more fluent. Also, ensure subject-verb agreement, for example, say 'Its calm and nice atmosphere makes me feel refreshed.' Add linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I went to Biloxi Beach recently to unwind and relax because its calm and pleasant atmosphere makes me feel refreshed and clears my mind. Additionally, I talked to local people and tried some traditional dishes, which enriched my experience.

提案: Avoid repeating words and filler sounds like 'uh' to improve fluency. Structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words. Be more specific about how your friend helps you.

例: I usually relax with my friend who is also my colleague. Because we share many experiences, we often have meaningful conversations, and she often helps me by giving advice and support.

提案: Reduce filler words and correct grammar mistakes such as 'work on hard on difficult project' to 'work hard on difficult projects.' Use linking words to connect ideas clearly.

例: Of course, listening to music is not only relaxing but also helps me increase my concentration when I am doing daily tasks, especially when I study or work hard on difficult projects.

提案: Avoid filler words and ensure correct verb forms, for example, 'watching' should be 'watch.' Use linking words to make your answer coherent and specify how weather affects your choice.

例: It depends on the day and the weather. Sometimes I like to go to a yoga class; other times, I prefer to stay at home and unwind by watching a nice movie. When the weather is good, I enjoy going outside to get refreshed and listen to birds chirping.

× It's calm and nice atmosphere make me refreshed and clear my mind.

✓ Its calm and nice atmosphere makes me feel refreshed and clears my mind.

The subject 'atmosphere' is singular, so the verb should be 'makes' instead of 'make'. Also, 'It's' should be 'Its' as a possessive pronoun here. Additionally, 'make me refreshed and clear my mind' is awkward; it should be 'makes me feel refreshed and clears my mind' to correctly express the effect.

× Also I umm talked to local people and I tried local dishes that uh, that's.

✓ Also, I talked to local people and tried local dishes.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'that uh, that's' which is incomplete and confusing. Removing the incomplete phrase clarifies the sentence. The past tense 'talked' and 'tried' are correctly used here.

× Because of that, we have lot of, uh, to share together and most of the time we have, uh, meaningful conversation and, uh, my friend, most of the time she helps.

✓ Because of that, we have a lot to share together and most of the time we have meaningful conversations, and my friend often helps.

'Lot' should be preceded by 'a' to form 'a lot'. 'Conversation' should be plural 'conversations' to match 'most of the time'. The sentence is also fragmented; combining and clarifying improves readability.

× My friend, uh, she's my friend and also she's my, my colleague too.

✓ My friend is also my colleague.

The phrase is repetitive and redundant. Simplifying to 'My friend is also my colleague' removes unnecessary pronouns and repetition.

× Of course, uh, it's not only relaxing, but uh, but also sometimes it helps me increase, uh, my concentr, my concentration, uh, when I'm doing my daily task, most of the time when I'm studying or I work on hard on difficult project.

✓ Of course, it's not only relaxing, but it also sometimes helps me increase my concentration when I'm doing my daily tasks, most of the time when I'm studying or working hard on difficult projects.

The modal verb 'helps me increase' is correct, but the sentence has awkward phrasing and missing articles. 'My concentr' is incomplete and corrected to 'my concentration'. 'Daily task' should be plural 'daily tasks'. 'I work on hard on difficult project' is corrected to 'working hard on difficult projects' for grammatical accuracy and fluency.

× Sometimes I like to go yoga class, sometimes I just like to stay at home and unwind and watching a nice movie, and sometimes I'm going out to a get refreshed and just listening to birds chirping.

✓ Sometimes I like to go to yoga class, sometimes I just like to stay at home and unwind by watching a nice movie, and sometimes I go out to get refreshed and just listen to birds chirping.

After 'like to', the base verb form should be used, not the '-ing' form. 'Watching' and 'listening' are corrected to 'watch' and 'listen'. Also, 'go yoga class' is corrected to 'go to yoga class'. 'I'm going out to a get refreshed' is corrected to 'I go out to get refreshed' for proper tense and article usage.

× It depends on my day, on weather.

✓ It depends on my day and the weather.

The phrase 'on weather' is missing the definite article 'the'. Also, 'on my day, on weather' is better connected with 'and' for clarity.