Coins— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be natural and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two concise supporting details. Avoid hesitation phrases and repetitions, check verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, and use smoother linking words (e.g., 'because', 'so', 'therefore'). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: I rarely use coins now. I used to use them frequently when I was a student because I took buses that required cash fare. However, I now live very close to my workplace, so I usually walk and no longer need coins.

提案: Answer directly, then give one specific reason and an example. Remove fillers and correct sentence structures (e.g., avoid 'in which way'). Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' to make your point coherent. Aim for 2–3 clear sentences.

例: Yes, coins can be convenient for short journeys because many buses and small vendors still accept cash. For example, when I used to commute by bus, I kept coins in a small wallet so I always had the exact fare.

提案: Begin with a direct yes/no, then give a specific anecdote with correct tense and fewer fillers. Use linking words like 'and' or 'then' to sequence events. Correct grammar (e.g., 'visited', 'it was') and avoid redundancy.

例: Yes, I collected coins as a child. Guests often gave me small change, which I put in a special box; when it was full it felt like a little piggy bank and I was proud of my savings.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, then add one reason and contrast with past habits. Fix grammar (e.g., 'In recent years', 'much more convenient') and avoid repetition. Use concise linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: I rarely carry coins now because I usually pay with a debit or credit card. In recent years these cards have been more convenient for most purchases, so I only keep a few coins for emergencies.

× Do we bury honest with you?

✓ Do I speak honestly with you?

The original sentence uses incorrect words and pronouns ('we bury honest') which makes it unintelligible. The speaker intends to ask whether they are speaking honestly to the examiner, so use the pronoun 'I' and the verb 'speak' and the adverb 'honestly'. Also use correct word order for a question: 'Do I speak honestly with you?'.

× I barely use coins these days.

✓ I barely use coins these days.

This sentence is correct in present tense and needs no change; it appropriately uses the present simple to describe a habitual situation in the present.

× However, I used to use a lot of coins when I was a student because I use a public transport like buses.

✓ However, I used to use a lot of coins when I was a student because I used public transport like buses.

Mixed tenses: 'used to' correctly indicates a past habit, so the rest of the clause should also be in the past. Change 'I use' to 'I used' and remove the article 'a' before 'public transport' because 'public transport' is an uncountable noun.

× Buses always want coins for a ride.

✓ Buses always require coins for a ride.

'Want' is colloquial and awkward for inanimate subjects; 'require' or 'need' is more appropriate. Grammatically 'buses' is plural so verb form is correct, but word choice improves clarity.

× These days I do not travel to my work.

✓ These days I do not travel to work.

The phrase 'travel to work' is the common idiom; 'my work' is not necessary. The present simple 'do not travel' correctly describes the habitual present.

× I live near near my work.

✓ I live near my workplace.

Duplicate word 'near' should be single. 'My work' is acceptable but 'my workplace' is more natural. Also avoid repetition.

× Yes it is, especially if you use a public transport such as buses.

✓ Yes, it is, especially if you use public transport such as buses.

Remove the article 'a' before 'public transport' because 'public transport' is uncountable. Also add a comma after 'Yes' for natural rhythm.

× They always need coins or a bus pass to travel.

✓ They always need coins or a bus pass to travel.

Sentence is grammatically correct: plural subject 'they' with 'need' matches. No change required except punctuation if desired.

× However, I remember when I used the coins I I always keep in my small wallet which in which way I try to save some coins because I could never know whenever I need the coins.

✓ However, I remember that when I used coins, I always kept them in my small wallet because I never knew when I would need them.

Multiple issues: tense inconsistency ('used' vs 'keep'), duplicated 'I', awkward relative clause 'which in which way', incorrect modal/time phrasing. Use past tense 'kept' to match 'used', replace 'could never know whenever' with 'never knew when', and use 'them' as pronoun for coins. Simplify structure for clarity.

× Have you collected coins when you were a kid?

✓ Did you collect coins when you were a kid?

When asking about a past habit at a specific time ('when you were a kid'), use simple past 'Did you collect' rather than present perfect 'Have you collected'.

× Yes, definitely. Whenever a guest visit us, so they always gave me some coins.

✓ Yes, definitely. Whenever a guest visited us, they always gave me some coins.

Subject-verb agreement and extraneous conjunction: 'guest visit' should be 'guest visited' to match past tense; remove the unnecessary 'so'. Use 'they always gave me' in past tense.

× I remember I had a small box where I used to save my coins and then whenever it's full, it's was like a kiddie bank and I had a lot of coins in that.

✓ I remember I had a small box where I used to save my coins, and when it was full it was like a kiddie bank and I had a lot of coins in it.

Tense and pronoun errors: change 'it's full' to past 'it was full', remove incorrect 'it's was', and use 'it' rather than 'that' at the end. Also combine clauses clearly and keep past tense consistent.

× These days I barely carry coins, only if I have spare ones.

✓ These days I barely carry coins, only if I have spare ones.

This sentence is acceptable in present simple to describe current habit. No grammatical change required.

× In the recent years I have been using the credit card or debit card for any payments.

✓ In recent years I have been using a credit card or debit card for payments.

Use 'In recent years' (no 'the'), and use 'a credit card or a debit card' or 'credit or debit cards'; also 'for payments' is more natural than 'for any payments'. Present perfect continuous 'have been using' is appropriate.

× I I believe that these methods are much convenient than coins.

✓ I believe that these methods are much more convenient than coins.

Duplicate 'I' should be single; comparative needs 'more convenient' not 'much convenient'. Use 'much more convenient than' to compare properly.