Fishing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words (uh) and fix sentence structure (e.g., frequency expression and purpose).

例: Yes, I do. Fish is a great source of protein and omega-3 fatty acids, so I eat it two or three times a week to stay healthy. For example, I usually have grilled salmon for dinner because it is quick to cook and high in nutrients.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and then add one or two specific reasons. Use linking words (because, and, for example) and correct noun usage (fish not fishes, seafood is uncountable). Remove repetitions and fillers.

例: Yes, I have. I go to the fish market several times because it is lively and I can buy very fresh fish. For example, last week I bought fresh sea bass and shrimp there, which tasted much better than supermarket fish.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and then support it with specific distinctions and examples. Use linking words (for example, some, others) and correct grammar (people catch, food source). Avoid trailing off at the end.

例: Yes, fishing is quite popular, especially in rural and coastal areas. For example, some people fish for leisure and sport, while others rely on fishing as a source of food or income in small fishing communities.

× Yes, I really enjoy eating fish it's an excellent source of protein and omega-3 fatty acid, so I always try to keep uh, two or three times in a week to keep a fish in my diet to make my.

✓ Yes, I really enjoy eating fish. It is an excellent source of protein and omega-3 fatty acids, so I always try to eat it two or three times a week to keep fish in my diet.

This long run-on sentence has several structure and agreement issues (Grammar problem type ID 26). It needs to be split into clear sentences and fixed for count and agreement: 'it's' should be expanded to 'It is' for clarity; 'omega-3 fatty acid' should be plural 'omega-3 fatty acids' because multiple fatty acids are meant; the phrase 'two or three times in a week' is incorrect — correct is 'two or three times a week'; 'keep a fish in my diet' is unnatural and should be 'keep fish in my diet'; trailing fragment 'to make my' is incomplete and removed. Suggestion: break complex ideas into shorter sentences, ensure noun plurality matches meaning, and use standard time expressions like 'a week'.

× Yes, I have gone several times to the fish market and I really enjoy to go go there because the place is very lively and when I see the fresh fishes and seafoods there, I feel very uh excited and I can get all the fresh.

✓ Yes, I have gone to the fish market several times, and I really enjoy going there because the place is very lively. When I see the fresh fish and seafood there, I feel very excited and I can get fresh produce.

This sentence contains tense and verb-form problems (Grammar problem type ID 5 and 8) and plural/word-choice errors. 'I have gone several times to the fish market' is acceptable but more natural as 'I have gone to the fish market several times.' 'I really enjoy to go go there' uses incorrect verb form; after 'enjoy' use the -ing form: 'enjoy going.' Duplicate 'go' removed. 'Fresh fishes' and 'seafoods' are incorrect plural forms: 'fish' can be uncountable or 'fish' plural; 'seafood' is uncountable. The clause was also a run-on; split into two sentences. 'I can get all the fresh' was incomplete; clarified to 'I can get fresh produce.' Suggestions: use present perfect natural word order, use -ing after 'enjoy', and use correct uncountable/plural forms for 'fish' and 'seafood'.

× Fishing is very popular in my country, especially in the rural and coastal areas. People, some people's uh, catches fish for, uh, their leisure time, and some people's uh, do it for uh, food source and people in the.

✓ Fishing is very popular in my country, especially in rural and coastal areas. Some people fish for leisure, while others do it as a food source.

Multiple problems are present: awkward article and possessive usage and sentence fragment (Grammar problem type ID 22 and 26). 'the rural and coastal areas' can be 'rural and coastal areas' without 'the.' Phrases like 'some people's uh, catches fish' incorrectly use possessive 'people's' and wrong verb form; correct is 'Some people fish' (subject 'people' with verb 'fish'). 'Do it for food source' needs an article: 'do it as a food source.' The final clause is a fragment and withdrawn. Suggestions: avoid unnecessary possessive forms, use simple subject-verb constructions ('people fish'), and ensure complete clauses.