Road— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify vocabulary and use clearer sentence structure. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid incorrect or irrelevant words (e.g. 'fecal') and reduce repetition.

例: Yes, the roads in my area are very busy. For example, during the morning commute and again after work many people travel to and from offices, which causes long traffic jams. As a result, travel times can increase significantly.

提案: Give a direct answer then explain briefly with one or two clear reasons. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and correct informal language to formal spoken English (avoid 'wanna').

例: Yes, people often cross the road in my city because many commuters need to reach bus stops and train stations. For example, at major intersections you can see large groups waiting and then crossing when the traffic lights change.

提案: Provide a clear contrast with specific examples and correct grammar (singular/plural, verb forms). Use linking words like 'however' or 'in contrast' and give one concrete detail about maintenance or problems.

例: In the city, roads are generally well maintained and suitable for cars and buses. However, in rural areas the roads are often full of potholes and unpaved in places, which makes travel slower and less safe.

提案: Answer directly and give a specific reason and suggestion. Avoid vague phrases and unclear place names (e.g. 'some Arabian'). Use linking words (because, therefore) and mention a concrete improvement action.

例: Yes, I believe improvements are needed because some major roads and certain neighborhoods have poor surfaces that increase the risk of accidents. Therefore, the government should repair potholes regularly and improve drainage to prevent road damage.

× I live in Jakarta, which is at the center of big city in my country.

✓ I live in Jakarta, which is at the center of a big city in my country.

Missing article 'a' before 'big city'. Use 'a' for singular countable nouns when speaking generally. Suggestion: include appropriate articles before singular countable nouns.

× So every single day, especially in the early morning and then after work, there are a lot of fecal and then makes me a little bit crazy and busy.

✓ So every single day, especially in the early morning and after work, there is a lot of traffic and it makes me a little bit crazy and stressed.

Sentence has wrong word choice ('fecal' instead of 'traffic'), subject-verb agreement with 'a lot of traffic' requires singular verb 'is', and unclear clause structure. Improve by replacing incorrect word, using correct verb agreement, and adding a clear subject 'it' for the second clause.

× Uh, I'll, like I said before that I live in the big city and then there are a lot of public transportation and when I, when the people wanna try to grab the, the vehicle to so they should cross the road and then.

✓ Like I said before, I live in a big city and there is a lot of public transportation, so when people want to catch a vehicle they have to cross the road.

Problems: unnecessary filler 'I'll', redundant 'the' before 'people', informal 'wanna' should be 'want to', and awkward phrasing 'grab the vehicle to so they should' corrected to 'catch a vehicle they have to'. Also use 'there is' for uncountable noun phrase 'a lot of public transportation' and simplify sentence structure.

× In a big city, uh, the condition of the roads are very well maintained, so it's really easier to use for a small or big vehicle.

✓ In the big city, the condition of the roads is very well maintained, so they are easy to use for small or large vehicles.

Use 'the' when referring to a previously mentioned big city. Subject-verb agreement: 'the condition' (singular) takes 'is'. Better to refer to 'roads' (plural) with 'they are'. Use 'small or large vehicles' for parallel adjective use and count noun agreement.

× But in the rural areas are totally different.

✓ But the rural areas are totally different.

Missing subject determiner 'the' before 'rural areas'. Also original word order lacked an explicit subject. Add 'the' to specify those rural areas.

× Uh, the roots is, uh, have has a poor condition and sometimes.

✓ The roads are in poor condition sometimes.

Multiple errors: 'roots' should be 'roads' (spelling), subject-verb agreement: 'roads' (plural) take 'are'. Remove redundant auxiliary verbs 'have has' and simplify to 'are in poor condition sometimes'.

× Yes, I think so, especially for the some Arabian and the big city, uh, have the poor condition and this, uh, give the worst impact like, uh, accident sometime when I saw the, the news.

✓ Yes, I think so. Especially in some areas and large cities, the roads are in poor condition and this sometimes causes serious impacts, such as accidents that I have seen on the news.

Problems: incorrect quantifier 'the some Arabian' unclear phrase replaced with 'some areas'; article misuse and plural agreement fixed ('large cities' and 'roads are'). Replace 'give the worst impact' with 'causes serious impacts' and correct tense for 'seen on the news' using present perfect for life experience. Improve clarity and formal word choice.

× So the government should pay attention more.

✓ So the government should pay more attention.

Word order: adverb 'more' should follow verb 'pay' as 'pay more attention'. The modal verb 'should' is correct to express recommendation; only the word order needed adjustment.