Perfume— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答时语法和表达不够准确，句子结构混乱，影响理解。建议简化句子，使用正确的表达方式，并避免重复。

例: Yes, I like perfume because it can make me feel more confident and attractive. When I wear perfume, people tend to pay more attention to me.

提案: 回答中表达不够流畅，语法错误较多，逻辑连接不够清晰。建议使用连词连接句子，并注意语法准确。

例: Yes, I use perfume occasionally. For example, I usually wear it to meetings because I believe it shows that I pay attention to details. However, I don't wear perfume when I go to school.

提案: 回答内容混乱，句子不完整且语法错误严重，影响理解。建议简化表达，明确说明买香水作为礼物的情况，并注意语法和拼写。

例: Yes, I often buy perfume as a gift for my friends. For example, last year I gave a perfume to my friend Fly for her birthday because she likes matching perfume with her clothes.

提案: 回答表达不清，句子结构混乱，词汇使用不当。建议用简单明了的句子表达观点，并举具体例子说明香水价格差异。

例: I think the price of perfumes depends on their ingredients. For example, luxury perfumes often use rare materials, so they smell different and cost more. On the other hand, there are also cheaper perfumes available.

× I think when you have the perfume it can make you more charming and people can take have.

✓ I think when you have perfume it can make you more charming and people can take notice.

这里“the perfume”使用了定冠词，且“take have”是错误搭配。应去掉定冠词，使用不可数名词“perfume”，并将“take have”改为正确表达“take notice”。

× people can take have.

✓ people can take notice.

“take have”不是正确的短语，应使用“take notice”表示“注意”。

× When I take some meetings I usually wear the perfumes because I think people are much more think you are a person who is focusing more on details.

✓ When I attend some meetings I usually wear perfume because I think people are more likely to think you are a person who focuses more on details.

“take some meetings”应改为“attend some meetings”；“wear the perfumes”应改为“wear perfume”，因为这里指的是不可数名词；“people are much more think”语法错误，应改为“people are more likely to think”；“who is focusing”应改为“who focuses”，保持时态一致。

× When I take some meetings

✓ When I attend some meetings

“take meetings”不是正确搭配，正确表达是“attend meetings”，表示“参加会议”。

× I usually wear the perfumes

✓ I usually wear perfume

“perfumes”复数形式不符合语境，通常指香水作为不可数名词，故改为“perfume”。

× people are much more think you are a person who is focusing more on details.

✓ people are more likely to think you are a person who focuses more on details.

“are much more think”语法错误，应改为“are more likely to think”；“who is focusing”改为“who focuses”，保持时态一致。

× I will buy the perfume to some of my friends, for example one of my friend named Fly and I you about perfume for her birthday, yet last year do too.

✓ I will buy perfume for some of my friends, for example, one of my friends named Fly, and I bought perfume for her birthday last year too.

“the perfume”改为“perfume”，不可数名词；“one of my friend”应为“one of my friends”；“I you about perfume”语法错误，改为“I bought perfume”；“yet last year do too”不通顺，改为“last year too”。

× one of my friend named Fly and I you about perfume for her birthday

✓ one of my friends named Fly, and I bought perfume for her birthday

“one of my friend”应为“one of my friends”；“I you about perfume”语法错误，应改为“I bought perfume”。

× She's really like wearing the perfume which are matching with her closes.

✓ She really likes wearing perfume which matches her clothes.

“She's really like”应为“She really likes”；“the perfume”改为“perfume”；“which are matching”改为“which matches”；“closes”拼写错误，应为“clothes”。

× She's really like wearing the perfume

✓ She really likes wearing perfume

“really like”应为“really likes”，动词需与主语一致。

× which are matching with her closes.

✓ which matches her clothes.

“matching with”中“with”多余，正确表达为“matches her clothes”。

× some of the extent expensive perfume suggests on the table or other luxury perfumes is your smells are really different from other cheap perfumes.

✓ some of the extremely expensive perfumes, such as those on the table or other luxury perfumes, have smells that are really different from other cheap perfumes.

“extent expensive perfume”应为“extremely expensive perfumes”；“suggests on the table”不通顺，改为“such as those on the table”；“is your smells are”语法错误，改为“have smells that are”。

× suggests on the table

✓ such as those on the table

“suggests on the table”表达不正确，应改为“such as those on the table”，表示举例。

× other changes are also cheaper perfumes.

✓ other brands are also cheaper perfumes.

“changes”用词不当，应为“brands”表示“品牌”。