Perfume— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Perbaiki tata bahasa dan ejaan, serta buat kalimat lebih alami dan efektif. Hindari pengulangan dan gunakan kata yang tepat untuk menjelaskan aroma parfum. Misalnya, gunakan 'scent' bukan 'scan', dan 'wearing perfume' bukan 'weeding perfume'.

例: Yes, I use fragrance every day because I enjoy the fresh scent it gives me. I usually wear it when I go to classes or meet my friends. Sometimes, people compliment me on the fragrance, which makes me feel more confident and ready for the day.

提案: Perbaiki kesalahan ejaan dan tata bahasa, serta gunakan linking words untuk membuat jawaban lebih koheren. Jelaskan dengan spesifik tentang aroma parfum dan alasan kamu menyukainya.

例: Yes, I use perfume daily, especially when I go to class or meet friends. I usually buy a brand called New Battle every month because its scent makes me feel relaxed and refreshed. Moreover, the fragrance is quite unique with a mix of floral and woody notes, which is why I enjoy wearing it regularly.

提案: Perbaiki kesalahan kata dan tata bahasa, serta buat kalimat lebih jelas dan alami. Gunakan kata yang tepat seperti 'scent' dan 'person' dan jelaskan alasan memilih parfum sebagai hadiah dengan lebih spesifik.

例: Yes, I would definitely buy perfume as a gift because it is a personal and thoughtful present. I usually choose a scent that matches the personality of the person, especially if I know their preferences well. Giving perfume shows that I have put effort into selecting something unique and special for them.

提案: Perbaiki tata bahasa, ejaan, dan struktur kalimat agar lebih jelas dan alami. Gunakan linking words untuk menjelaskan alasan variasi harga parfum dengan lebih teratur dan spesifik.

例: No, I don't think all perfumes are expensive. Some fragrances are costly because of their high-quality ingredients and brand reputation. However, others are cheaper since they contain more alcohol and water. Therefore, the price varies a lot depending on these factors.

× Yes, I used fragrance everyday because I enjoy the fresh and scan it gives me.

✓ Yes, I use fragrance every day because I enjoy the fresh scent it gives me.

The verb 'used' is incorrectly used in past tense; the present tense 'use' fits the context. Also, 'scan' is a typo and should be 'scent'. 'Everyday' is an adjective, but here the adverb 'every day' is correct.

× I usually wear it when I go to the classes or meet my friends and sometimes people compliment me on the fragrance which make me feel more confident.

✓ I usually wear it when I go to classes or meet my friends, and sometimes people compliment me on the fragrance which makes me feel more confident.

The plural 'classes' is correct without 'the'. Also, 'make' should be 'makes' to agree with singular 'fragrance'.

× Weeding perfume helps me feel refreshed and ready for the day.

✓ Wearing perfume helps me feel refreshed and ready for the day.

'Weeding' is a typo; the correct word is 'wearing' which is the present participle form of 'wear'.

× Yes, of course I use perfume in my daily life, especially when I go to the class or meet friends.

✓ Yes, of course I use perfume in my daily life, especially when I go to class or meet friends.

The phrase 'go to class' is an uncountable expression and does not require 'the' or plural form.

× I usually buy a brand called New Battle every month because it's sent makes me feel relaxed and refreshed.

✓ I usually buy a brand called New Battle every month because its scent makes me feel relaxed and refreshed.

'It's' is a contraction of 'it is' but here the possessive pronoun 'its' is needed. Also, 'sent' is a typo and should be 'scent'.

× The fragrances quiet unite unique with a mix of Loharan woody notes which is why I really like it and enjoy wearing it regularly.

✓ The fragrance is quite unique with a mix of Loharan woody notes, which is why I really like it and enjoy wearing it regularly.

'Fragrances' should be singular 'fragrance' to agree with 'is'. 'Quiet' is a typo for 'quite'. 'Unite' is incorrect; 'unique' is the correct adjective here.

× Yes, I will definitely buy perfume as a gift because it is a personal and thoughtful present.

✓ Yes, I will definitely buy perfume as a gift because it is a personal and thoughtful present.

No correction needed; sentence is grammatically correct.

× I usually choose a sand that makes the personality of the percent, especially if I know their preference well.

✓ I usually choose a scent that matches the personality of the person, especially if I know their preference well.

'Sand' is a typo for 'scent'. 'Percent' is a typo for 'person'. 'Makes the personality' is incorrect; 'matches the personality' is appropriate.

× Giving perfume so that I have put effort into selecting something unique and special for them.

✓ Giving perfume shows that I have put effort into selecting something unique and special for them.

The original sentence lacks a main verb and is incomplete. Adding 'shows that' corrects the sentence structure.

× No, I don't think so. Some fragrance are expensive but others is not because it really depends on the quality and brand of the perfume.

✓ No, I don't think so. Some fragrances are expensive but others are not because it really depends on the quality and brand of the perfume.

'Fragrance' should be plural 'fragrances' to agree with 'some'. 'Others' is plural and should be followed by 'are' not 'is'.

× For example some send contain more alcohol and water with makes them cheaper.

✓ For example, some scents contain more alcohol and water, which makes them cheaper.

'Send' is a typo for 'scents'. 'With makes' is incorrect; 'which makes' is the correct relative clause.

× Well hike an brands use raw ingredients, they increase the price.

✓ When brands use raw ingredients, they increase the price.

'Well hike an' is incorrect and unclear. 'When' introduces the conditional clause properly.

× So the coast various a lot depending on these factors.

✓ So the cost varies a lot depending on these factors.

'Coast' is a typo for 'cost'. 'Various' is an adjective and incorrect here; the verb 'varies' is needed to agree with singular 'cost'.