Perfume— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but it could be more natural and concise. Avoid filler words like "like" and try to use a more direct sentence structure. Also, adding a reason why you like perfume would enrich your answer.

例: Yes, I do. I started wearing perfume about two years ago when I began high school because I enjoy how it makes me feel more confident.

提案: Your answer has some grammatical errors and unclear phrasing. Try to use correct conditional sentences and avoid redundancy. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I use perfume almost every day because when I wear a scent I like, I feel more confident and it improves my mood.

提案: Your answer is quite long and has some grammatical mistakes. Try to make your sentences shorter and clearer. Use linking words like "however" or "but" to connect contrasting ideas. Also, be careful with pronouns and verb agreement.

例: It depends on the person. If we are not close and I don't know their preferences, it is hard to choose a perfume. However, if we are close friends and I know their taste well, I would definitely buy perfume as a gift.

提案: Your answer has some redundancy and awkward phrasing. Try to avoid filler words like "like" and use more precise vocabulary. Also, use linking words to make your answer coherent and logical.

例: Well, luxury brand perfumes are definitely overpriced because of their brand image. Therefore, I prefer to buy perfumes from smaller companies since they are more affordable.

× I started to use perfume like around two years ago when I was starting to go to high school.

✓ I started using perfume around two years ago when I was starting to go to high school.

The verb 'start' is commonly followed by the gerund form (-ing) rather than the infinitive 'to use'. Using 'started using' is more natural and grammatically correct in this context.

× I started to use perfume like around two years ago when I was starting to go to high school.

✓ I started using perfume around two years ago when I was starting to go to high school.

The preposition 'like' is unnecessary and incorrect here. 'Around' alone correctly indicates an approximate time.

× Yeah, almost every day, because I feel like if I were a perfume that I like and I would feel more confident and have a better mood.

✓ Yeah, almost every day, because I feel like if I were wearing a perfume that I like, I would feel more confident and be in a better mood.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'if I were a perfume' which is illogical. The correct expression is 'if I were wearing a perfume'. Also, 'have a better mood' should be 'be in a better mood' to correctly express the state of mood.

× It depends on the person because if we are not too familiar and I don't know what she like or what he likes and that would be kind of hard to decide which kind of perfume that I'm getting for her or him.

✓ It depends on the person because if we are not too familiar and I don't know what she likes or what he likes, it would be kind of hard to decide which kind of perfume I'm getting for her or him.

The verb 'like' must agree with the third person singular subject 'she' and 'he', so it should be 'likes'. Also, 'that would be' should be 'it would be' to correctly refer to the situation.

× But if we are like really close friend and I know her or him a lot very well then I will buy a perfume.

✓ But if we are really close friends and I know her or him very well, then I will buy a perfume.

'Friend' should be plural 'friends' to agree with 'we'. The phrase 'a lot very well' is redundant; 'very well' alone is sufficient and correct.

× Well, for like those luxury brands, yeah, it's definitely kind of over prices and but I think it's more toward like their brands effect.

✓ Well, for those luxury brands, yeah, they're definitely kind of overpriced, but I think it's more about their brand's effect.

'Over prices' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'overpriced'. Also, 'brands effect' should be possessive 'brand's effect'. 'It's' referring to brands should be 'they're' to agree in number.

× And so I would prefer to buy those perfume by by the smaller company and that would be less expensive.

✓ And so I would prefer to buy those perfumes from smaller companies, and that would be less expensive.

'By by' is a repetition error and should be 'from' to indicate the source. 'Perfume' should be plural 'perfumes' to match 'those'. 'The smaller company' should be plural 'smaller companies' to generalize.