Perfume— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答において、'uh'や'umm'などのフィラーを減らし、より自然で流暢な表現を心がけましょう。また、'the window'は文脈上不自然なので、'fresh air'など適切な表現に置き換えると良いです。さらに、文を簡潔にまとめ、冗長な部分を避けることが重要です。

例: No, I don't like strong perfume scents. Instead, I prefer simple smells like natural flowers or fresh air, so I often go outside to enjoy them.

提案: 回答は明確ですが、'borrow it from my wife and older sister'の部分が少し不自然です。より自然な表現にし、接続詞を使って文の流れを良くしましょう。また、'for my motivation'は'to boost my confidence'など具体的な表現にすると良いです。

例: Yes, I sometimes use perfume. Although I usually dislike strong scents, I borrow some from my wife or older sister when I want to boost my confidence and motivation.

提案: 文法的な誤りが多く、意味が伝わりにくいです。'without on special occasions'は'except on special occasions'に直し、'a human is too expensive'は誤りなので、'perfume is too expensive'に修正しましょう。文章を簡潔にし、明確に答えることが大切です。

例: No, I only buy perfume as a gift on special occasions because it is quite expensive, and I don't think it's worth spending a lot of money on it.

提案: 文が不完全で意味が伝わりにくいです。'high expenditure'は不自然なので、'expensive'に変え、ブランド名も正確に言いましょう。理由を明確に述べ、文を完結にまとめることが必要です。

例: Yes, I think perfumes are expensive because well-known brands like Louis Vuitton and Cartier produce high-quality and luxurious products.

× I like to much more simple smell such as the smell of natural flower or the window, so I always go out and enjoy the time.

✓ I like much simpler smells such as the smell of natural flowers or the wind, so I always go out and enjoy the time.

'to much more simple smell' is incorrect. The correct form is 'much simpler smells' because 'much' modifies comparatives and 'smell' should be plural to match 'smells'. Also, 'natural flower' should be plural 'natural flowers' and 'window' is likely a typo for 'wind'.

× Yes, I sometimes use a perfume.

✓ Yes, I sometimes use perfume.

'Perfume' is an uncountable noun when referring to the substance in general, so the article 'a' is unnecessary and incorrect here.

× No, I don't buy perfume without on special occasions and that's mainly because it seems that a human is too expensive for many people to buy it and I don't think it's worth high expenditure.

✓ No, I don't buy perfume except on special occasions and that's mainly because it seems that perfume is too expensive for many people to buy and I don't think it's worth the high expenditure.

The phrase 'without on special occasions' is incorrect; 'except on special occasions' is correct. Also, 'a human' is incorrect in this context; it should be 'perfume'. 'Worth high expenditure' should be 'worth the high expenditure' to use the definite article properly.

× The reason why perfume is very high expenditure is that well known brand companies like Lloyd Vinton, Cartier Produce and this item.

✓ The reason why perfume is a very high expenditure is that well-known brand companies like Lloyd Vinton, Cartier produce this item.

'Well known brand companies' should be hyphenated as 'well-known brand companies'. 'Cartier Produce' seems to be a mistake; it should be 'Cartier produce' (verb) to indicate they produce the item. Also, 'very high expenditure' needs an article 'a' before it.