Perfume— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer clearer and more natural by directly stating your dislike and explaining the reason with better sentence structure. Avoid redundancy and unclear phrases like 'straightforward I'm unable to smell anymore.'

例: No, I don't like perfume because since I was a child, it causes an allergic reaction on my hand, and I even lose my sense of smell temporarily when I smell it.

提案: Be more concise and clear. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, avoid mentioning specific perfume brands unless necessary, and clarify your allergy symptoms.

例: I used to wear perfume regularly, but now I avoid it because I have a strong allergy that causes my body to react badly when I use it or am around scented products.

提案: Your answer is clear but could be improved by adding a reason to support your opinion and using linking words to make it more coherent.

例: No, I don't buy perfumes as gifts because I think scent preferences are very personal, and I don't want to risk giving something that others might not like.

提案: Improve clarity by correcting word choice ('films' should be 'perfumes') and making sentences more natural. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide a clear opinion.

例: Perfumes have a wide range of prices, from affordable to very expensive, depending on the brand and the customer's preferences.

× And now I don't like perfume since I was a child, whenever I smell perfume, something wrong happens in my hand and straightforward I'm unable to smell anymore.

✓ And now I don't like perfume. Since I was a child, whenever I smell perfume, something wrong happens to my hand and immediately I am unable to smell anymore.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly and has awkward phrasing. 'Since I was a child' indicates a time from past to present, so present perfect or present tense is appropriate. 'Something wrong happens in my hand' should be 'something wrong happens to my hand' because 'happens to' is the correct preposition. 'Straightforward' is incorrectly used; 'immediately' fits better as an adverb here.

× Well, I was using perfumes before, but nowadays I'm unable to use perfumes anymore due to having significant allergy and my body is reacting towards the perfume Iceman and the surrounding environment.

✓ Well, I used to use perfumes before, but nowadays I'm unable to use perfumes anymore due to having a significant allergy, and my body reacts to the perfume Iceman and the surrounding environment.

'I was using perfumes before' is better expressed as 'I used to use perfumes before' to indicate a past habit. 'Having significant allergy' needs an article: 'a significant allergy'. 'My body is reacting towards' should be 'my body reacts to' because 'reacts to' is the correct verb-preposition combination and present simple fits better here.

× No, I don't buy perfumes and I have stopped buying perfumes for other people.

✓ No, I don't buy perfumes, and I have stopped buying perfumes for other people.

A comma is needed before 'and' to separate two independent clauses properly. The tense usage is correct here.

× I don't like to send perfumes as gifts for my friends or family members.

✓ I don't like to send perfumes as gifts to my friends or family members.

'Send gifts for' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'send gifts to'. This is a preposition error affecting pronoun usage.

× Their films have a wide range of prices that vary from being cheap to very expensive.

✓ Their perfumes have a wide range of prices that vary from being cheap to very expensive.

'Their films' is incorrect in context; it should be 'Their perfumes' to match the subject of discussion. This is a pronoun/reference error.

× It totally depends on the consumer, on the customer, what kind of perfume they are looking to buy from the market.

✓ It totally depends on the consumer or the customer what kind of perfume they are looking to buy from the market.

The phrase 'on the consumer, on the customer' is redundant and awkward. Using 'or' connects the two alternatives properly. Also, the comma before 'what kind of perfume' is unnecessary.