Teacher— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Evita la repetición de palabras y trata de usar vocabulario más variado para que tu respuesta suene más natural y fluida. Además, intenta ser un poco más específico en la descripción para enriquecer tu respuesta.

例: I've had many teachers, but I especially remember my 7th grade teacher, Susanna. She had a great sense of humor that made going to school enjoyable and helped me learn new things with a smile.

提案: Para mejorar la coherencia, usa conectores para enlazar las ideas y evita repetir la misma información. También, intenta usar un vocabulario más formal y variado.

例: Yes, although we lost contact for a few years because I was very young, I recently found her on Facebook. After sending her a message, we reconnected quickly and have maintained contact ever since.

提案: Mejora la estructura de tus oraciones y usa conectores para que la respuesta sea más clara y coherente. Además, intenta ser más específico en cómo te ayudó la profesora.

例: My favourite teacher was always young at heart, which made her classes fun and engaging. Because of her, I developed a love for learning and started to look forward to school as a positive experience.

提案: Evita usar abreviaturas informales como "1" y mejora la fluidez usando conectores. También, intenta usar un vocabulario más preciso y variado para expresar tus ideas.

例: Absolutely, I believe my personality suits the teaching profession because I enjoy learning new things. I am patient with others and aspire to be a role model, just like the professors who have inspired me.

× Her name was Susanna and she was the one who made me laugh going to school and learning new stuff.

✓ Her name was Susanna and she was the one who made me laugh while going to school and learning new stuff.

The phrase 'made me laugh going to school' is unclear and grammatically incorrect. Adding 'while' clarifies that she made the student laugh during the activities of going to school and learning. This improves sentence clarity and correctness.

× Well she has been always young at heart which made her classes enjoyable.

✓ Well, she was always young at heart which made her classes enjoyable.

The phrase 'has been always young at heart' mixes present perfect tense with a past context. Since the teacher is referred to in the past, 'was always young at heart' is the correct past tense form. Also, 'always' should be placed before the adjective for natural word order.

× I would say she was the one who made me laugh getting knowledge and since then I've been always keen to go to school and see it as a positive thing.

✓ I would say she was the one who made me laugh while gaining knowledge and since then I've always been keen to go to school and see it as a positive thing.

The phrase 'made me laugh getting knowledge' is awkward and unclear. Using 'while gaining knowledge' clarifies the meaning. Also, 'I've been always keen' is unnatural; 'I've always been keen' is the correct adverb placement.

× I would like to be 1 of role models as one of the professors that have inspired me.

✓ I would like to be one of the role models, like one of the professors who have inspired me.

The phrase '1 of role models' is incorrect; it should be 'one of the role models' with the definite article 'the'. Also, 'as one of the professors' is better expressed as 'like one of the professors' to indicate similarity. 'That' is replaced by 'who' when referring to people.