Teamwork— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, use clearer topic sentence and correct grammar. Avoid filler words (uh) and vague phrases like "exchange IDs." Use linking words to contrast school and work experiences and give one specific example. Keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: I like teamwork in the workplace but disliked it at school. In school I often ended up finishing other students' parts because they didn't do their share, which was frustrating. In contrast, at work my team divides tasks clearly and we support each other, so projects run more smoothly.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence, remove fillers and unclear ending, and add a concrete example of a task division. Use linking words to show cause and effect. Keep answers tight and relevant.

例: Yes, I have often worked in teams at school and at work. For example, on a recent project we split research, writing and presentation duties, which made the process faster and reduced mistakes. As a result, we finished ahead of schedule and received positive feedback.

提案: Use a clear topic sentence and correct awkward phrases (e.g. 'IDs' unclear). Provide specific examples of how you show patience and use linking words to explain results. Aim for 2–3 concise sentences.

例: Working in a team has taught me patience and active listening. For instance, when a teammate explains an idea I ask clarifying questions and give constructive feedback, which helps us reach better decisions. This approach reduces misunderstandings and improves collaboration.

提案: Begin with a direct statement, correct grammar and be specific about consequences. Use linking words to sequence points and include a brief suggestion for improving fairness. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: I dislike that teamwork can be unfair when some members don't contribute and others carry extra workload. Consequently, the responsible members become stressed and the group's morale drops; a clear task allocation and regular check-ins could prevent this.

× It depends on the scenario.

✓ It depends on the situation.

'Scenario' is not ungrammatical, but 'situation' is more natural here; no pronoun error. However, this sentence is acceptable. Suggestion: use 'situation' for naturalness.

× Uh, when I was in school, I didn't like teamwork because some people they do not do what they should do and then I get the burden to do their job also.

✓ Uh, when I was in school, I didn't like teamwork because some people did not do what they should, and then I got the burden of doing their work as well.

Mixed tenses: speaker starts with past ('was', 'didn't like') but then uses present 'do' and 'get'. Maintain past tense consistency: change 'do' to 'did', 'get' to 'got', and use 'doing' after 'burden of'. Also remove the redundant pronoun 'they' after 'some people'.

× But teamwork in the workplace is good because then you can exchange IDs and you can help each other.

✓ But teamwork in the workplace is good because you can share ideas and help each other.

'IDs' is incorrect for 'ideas' (likely a mispronunciation or typo). 'You can exchange ideas' or 'share ideas' is correct. Pronoun use 'you' is fine; suggestion: use 'share ideas' for clarity.

× Yes, I have worked with others many times before, both school related but also job related.

✓ Yes, I have worked with others many times before, both in school and at work.

Awkward parallel structure 'both school related but also job related' should use parallel prepositional phrases: 'both in school and at work.' This keeps structure balanced and natural.

× I like to be able to divide different tasks between us so it becomes more efficient and uh we can work as a team together.

✓ I like to divide tasks among us so it becomes more efficient and we can work as a team.

Use 'among' or 'between' correctly: with more than two people 'among' is preferable. 'Divide different tasks' is wordy; 'divide tasks' suffices. 'Work as a team together' is redundant; use 'work as a team.'

× Looking forward.

✓ I'm looking forward to it.

'Looking forward' is an incomplete sentence (missing subject and object). Add 'I'm' and an object such as 'to it' to complete the thought.

× Something I've learned from working in a team is to have patience.

✓ Something I've learned from working in a team is to be patient.

Use the adjective or infinitive form: 'to have patience' is acceptable but 'to be patient' is more natural. This addresses word choice rather than strict grammar, but improves fluency.

× I give people more time and a more tolerant and willing to listen to others IDs and opinions.

✓ I give people more time and become more tolerant and willing to listen to others' ideas and opinions.

Problems: missing verb after 'and' ('become'), incorrect adjective/adverb order, and 'IDs' should be 'ideas'. Also possessive 'others' needs an apostrophe: 'others' ideas' -> 'others' ideas' (written here as others' ideas). Rephrase to 'become more tolerant and willing to listen to others' ideas and opinions.'

× I learned to let others explain what they think about and try to give them a good response.

✓ I learned to let others explain what they think and to try to give them a good response.

The phrase 'think about' is usually transitive (think about something). Here 'explain what they think' is adequate. Also add parallel infinitive 'to try' for correct structure: 'to let... and to try...'.

× So think that dislike about teamwork is that it's not always fair for all.

✓ So I think what I dislike about teamwork is that it's not always fair to everyone.

Missing subject 'I' and incorrect phrase 'for all' should be 'to everyone.' Also add 'what' to introduce the clause 'what I dislike.'

× Sometimes there is one person that keeps the burden of maybe two or three team workers that do not pull what they need to do.

✓ Sometimes there is one person who carries the burden of maybe two or three teammates who do not do what they need to do.

'Team workers' is awkward; 'teammates' is better. Use 'who' for people (not 'that'). Use 'carries the burden' rather than 'keeps the burden.' Also 'do not pull what they need to do' is incorrect idiom; replace with 'do not do what they need to do.'

× And then also it can become more stressful.

✓ This can also become more stressful.

'Tense is okay but word order and redundancy can be improved. Use 'This can also become more stressful' for conciseness.

× You can get agitated.

✓ You might get agitated.

Original is grammatical, but using 'might' better matches the hypothetical possibility being described. If keeping original, it's acceptable. Suggested change improves modal nuance.