Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence answering directly, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use correct grammar (subject–verb agreement, tenses) and avoid repetition. Link your supporting detail with a simple connector such as 'because' or 'so'.

例: Not really. I rarely remember my dreams because they occur quickly during sleep, often for only a few minutes, so the details fade by the time I wake up.

提案: Give a clear direct answer and a precise reason. Use linking words like 'but' or 'because' to connect ideas. Correct pronoun use and remove repetitions. Mention who you share dreams with if relevant.

例: Yes, I do share my dreams, but only with close friends or family who are involved in them, because I prefer talking about things that directly affect me and I find it hard to follow other people's dream stories.

提案: Answer directly and give a clear reason with one supporting point. Use linking words such as 'however' or 'because' to make your opinion coherent. Avoid vague phrases like 'humanity wants to believe'—be specific. Fix grammar (plural/singular, articles).

例: I don't think dreams have special meanings. However, some people try to interpret them because they look for explanations, but I regard such interpretations as subjective rather than factual.

提案: Keep the enthusiasm but make the response more structured: a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific details about what you are doing to achieve the dream. Use correct verb forms and add linking words such as 'so' or 'therefore'.

例: Absolutely. I want to become a pilot, and I am studying hard for the required exams and flight training, so I hope to achieve it in the next few years.

× No I cannot because it's happens in the sleep and dreams are very short it it happens generally in 5-6 sevens and many people cannot remember the dreams they had.

✓ No, I cannot because it happens during sleep and dreams are very short; they generally last five to six seconds and many people cannot remember the dreams they had.

The original sentence mixes present simple and incorrect contractions ('it's happens') and repeats words. Use present simple 'it happens' for habitual occurrences. Replace 'in the sleep' with 'during sleep' and '5-6 sevens' with 'five to six seconds'. Use 'they' to refer back to 'dreams' and split into clearer clauses with appropriate punctuation. Suggested improvement: separate ideas into shorter sentences and check subject-verb agreement and time expressions.

× Yes, I share my dreams, the people who involve my my dreams and I'm not interested in other dreams because I'm not good at listening so.

✓ Yes, I share my dreams with the people who are involved in them, and I'm not interested in other people's dreams because I'm not good at listening.

Errors include missing preposition 'with', incorrect phrase 'the people who involve my my dreams', and missing possessive in 'other people's dreams'. Use passive/relative clause 'who are involved in them' to refer to people connected to the dreams. Remove repeated word and end with a complete clause. Suggested improvement: use 'with' after 'share' and use possessive form for 'other people's dreams'.

× For me they are not, but many people try to find some mean in the dreams because humanity wants to believe them.

✓ For me they do not have meanings, but many people try to find some meaning in dreams because people want to believe in them.

'They are not' is vague; use 'do not have meanings' or 'do not mean anything'. 'Some mean' is incorrect; use the noun 'meaning'. 'Humanity wants to believe them' is unnatural; use 'people want to believe in them'. Suggested improvement: choose precise verbs and nouns and use 'believe in' with 'dreams'.

× And I think it's not correct from my side because it's not real and.

✓ I do not think that is correct from my point of view because it is not real.

Sentence is fragmented and uses informal phrase 'from my side' and ends with 'and.' Replace with 'from my point of view' and complete the sentence. Use full forms 'do not' and 'it is' for clarity. Suggested improvement: avoid sentence fragments and informal expressions.

× Absolutely, yes. My dream to be pilot and I hope I will get there one day and I'm really studying very hard at this point for that.

✓ Absolutely. My dream is to be a pilot, and I hope I will get there one day; I'm studying very hard for that at the moment.

Missing verb 'is' after 'My dream' and missing article 'a' before 'pilot'. Tense and aspect mostly acceptable, but reordering improves naturalness: 'at the moment' instead of 'at this point'. Suggested improvement: include linking verb and correct articles, and use natural time expressions like 'at the moment'.