Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, avoid filler words (uh, umm), and finish your example with a complete reason. Use one or two supporting details linked by a simple connector.

例: Not really. My dreams have changed a lot since I was young. For example, I first wanted to be a scientist, but later I decided to become a teacher because I enjoy helping others learn and find that teaching is very rewarding.

提案: Answer clearly and reduce hesitation. Use linking words to explain the order and reason (for example, first... then... because...). Replace informal shorthand (1st) and vague phrases (either positive or negative recommendations) with more precise language.

例: Yes, I usually share my new goals with my parents first and then with my best friend Lily. First, my parents give practical advice about planning, and then Lily offers emotional support and honest feedback.

提案: Provide a clear, complete explanation and avoid trailing off. Use linking words (for example, on the other hand) to compare meanings and give a full contrasting example. Keep it concise and specific.

例: Yes, I think dreams can reflect our values and interests. For example, wanting to be a teacher suggests a desire to help others and find meaningful work, while wanting to be a scientist might indicate curiosity and an interest in discovery.

提案: Be grammatically accurate and give specific actions you are taking. Use linking words (so, therefore) and avoid vague phrases like "first study." Mention concrete steps and timeframe if possible.

例: Yes, I do. Making dreams come true requires a lot of effort, so I am currently studying hard and taking extra courses in my field. For example, I attend weekly tutoring sessions and set monthly goals to track my progress.

× Actually not because uh, since I was young, I always change my dreams.

✓ Not really, because since I was young I have always changed my dreams.

The sentence mixes past and present incorrectly. 'Since I was young' indicates a time period continuing to the present, so the present perfect ('have always changed') is appropriate. Also 'Actually not' is awkward; 'Not really' fits the question. Remove filler words and fix word order for clarity.

× Umm, For example, at first I want to become a scientist in the future, but later I wanted to become a teacher because I think teacher is a very.

✓ For example, at first I wanted to become a scientist, but later I wanted to become a teacher because I think being a teacher is very rewarding.

The sentence mixes present and past ('want' vs 'wanted'); when talking about past aspirations use past tense 'wanted'. Also the clause 'I think teacher is a very' is ungrammatical: use 'being a teacher is very rewarding' or similar. Complete the adjective and include the article 'a' before 'teacher'.

× Every time I have a new dream, I'd like to share it with my parents 1st and then I will, uh, talk with my best friend Lily because I think they will give me some either positive or negative recommendations.

✓ Every time I have a new dream, I like to share it with my parents first and then I talk with my best friend Lily because I think they will give me either positive or negative advice.

Use consistent tense and avoid shorthand '1st'; 'I'd like' suggests hypothetical—use present simple 'I like' for habitual actions. 'Recommendations' is odd here; 'advice' is uncountable and more natural. 'Either positive or negative' should precede 'advice'. Pronoun 'they' is fine for parents and friend collectively.

× Yes, I do. I think different dreams have different meanings. For example, if I want to become a teacher in the future, that's because I think teaching is very rewarding and meaningful. Umm, and if I want to become a scientist, uh, there are.

✓ Yes, I do. I think different dreams have different meanings. For example, if I want to become a teacher in the future, that's because I think teaching is very rewarding and meaningful. If I wanted to become a scientist, I would be interested in research and discovery.

The original ends abruptly 'there are.' Complete the sentence with a clear idea. Also maintain conditional consistency: when discussing hypothetical future careers, use 'if I wanted' or 'if I want' consistently and complete the thought with a main clause.

× Yes I do, and I think making our dreams come true need to pay a lot of efforts.

✓ Yes I do, and I think making our dreams come true requires a lot of effort.

'Need to pay a lot of efforts' is ungrammatical. Use 'requires' to agree with singular subject 'making our dreams come true' and 'a lot of effort'—'effort' is an uncountable noun and should not be plural. 'Requires' expresses necessity correctly.

× So nowadays I'm studying hard and prepare for my first study so that I can, uh, reach my dreams in the future.

✓ So nowadays I'm studying hard and preparing for my further studies so that I can achieve my dreams in the future.

Maintain parallel structure with present continuous: 'I'm studying' and 'preparing' rather than 'prepare'. 'First study' is unclear; 'further studies' or 'my studies' is more natural. Use 'achieve' rather than 'reach' for collocation with 'dreams'.