Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples using linking words. Avoid filler words (umm, uh) and correct verb forms (e.g., "It depends" not "It's depends").

例: It depends. I can remember dreams only when they are very vivid. For example, I clearly recall a recent horror dream and a touching dream about my late mother, and those stay in my memory much longer.

提案: Organize the answer: give a direct response, then explain why with one clear reason and an example. Use linking words like "because" and "so" and avoid unclear cultural phrasing. Improve pronunciation/grammar: "other" → "others", "a very horror dream" → "a very scary dream".

例: Yes, I do. I usually tell friends when I have a scary dream because, in my culture, nightmares are seen as a sign of stress, so they comfort me. I also enjoy hearing their dreams because they are often strange and interesting.

提案: Be clearer and more coherent: state your belief, then give a specific example and explain its meaning succinctly. Fix grammar ("I think it actually has a special meaning") and avoid repetition. Use linking words like "for example" and "because" to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I believe dreams can have special meanings. For example, last week I dreamed my late mother hugged me and said she understood my feelings, which I interpreted as a comforting sign because I have been very stressed about my studies.

提案: Give a direct answer, then a concise personal example and a reason. Correct tense and pronouns ("sometimes", "my long-distance boyfriend flew over to meet me"). Avoid repetition and fillers.

例: Yes, sometimes I do want my dreams to come true. For instance, I once dreamed my long-distance boyfriend flew to visit me, and I wish that would happen because then we could spend quality time together.

× It's actually depends.

✓ It actually depends.

The verb 'depend' should be in the base form after the auxiliary 'does/it' in present simple; 'depends' is correct with 'it' but when using contraction 'It's' as 'It is', the structure 'It is depends' is incorrect. Use 'It depends' or 'It actually depends.' The corrected sentence removes the unnecessary auxiliary 'is.'

× Sometimes I can remember the dream I have, especially the one there is a more vivid so for example like the horror dream or sometimes a dream that I meet my late mother which is very loving.

✓ Sometimes I can remember the dreams I have, especially the more vivid ones, for example a horror dream or a dream in which I meet my late mother, who is very loving.

Multiple issues: plural noun agreement (dream -> dreams; one -> ones) and unclear clause structure. Use plural 'dreams' with 'I have.' Use 'the more vivid ones' to refer back to 'dreams.' 'There is' is unnecessary; use 'in which' for relative clauses describing situations. Use 'who' for people and punctuation (commas) to separate clauses. This makes the sentence grammatically coherent and maintains present tense.

× So only those kind of dream that will live umm uh, strong memories to me.

✓ So only those kinds of dreams leave strong memories for me.

Use plural 'kinds' and 'dreams' to agree with 'those.' 'Will live' is incorrect; use 'leave' to express creating memories. Preposition 'to me' should be 'for me.' Remove filler sounds. This corrects noun number, verb choice, and preposition.

× Yes, sometimes I share my dream with the other, especially when I have a very horror dream because in Chinese they often say if you have a nightmare is maybe think that, umm, implement that you are like stressed sometimes.

✓ Yes, sometimes I share my dreams with others, especially when I have a very scary dream, because in Chinese people often say that if you have a nightmare it might mean that you are stressed sometimes.

Use plural 'dreams' and 'others' instead of 'the other.' 'Very horror' is incorrect adjective use; use 'very scary' or 'horrific.' Rephrase awkward clause: 'they often say that if you have a nightmare it might mean that you are stressed.' Replace 'implement' with 'mean' and remove fillers. This fixes pronoun, adjective, and sentence structure errors.

× So my friend will tend to, uh, try to comfort me, but yeah, and I'm actually interested in their dream too.

✓ So my friends tend to try to comfort me, and I'm actually interested in their dreams too.

Use plural 'friends' to match 'my friends' generally; 'will tend to' is awkward—use 'tend to.' Use plural 'dreams.' Remove filler words and redundant conjunctions for clarity.

× And sometimes they have a really weird and interesting.

✓ And sometimes they have really weird and interesting dreams.

The sentence is incomplete—missing the noun 'dreams' after the adjectives. Ensure adjective order ('weird and interesting') is acceptable. This fixes sentence fragment and completes the thought.

× Yes, definitely.

✓ Yes, definitely.

No grammatical correction needed; sentence is appropriate as a short affirmative response in present tense.

× For example, a week ago I had a dream about my late mother.

✓ For example, a week ago I had a dream about my late mother.

Sentence is correct in past tense describing a past event; no change necessary.

× We were at home, she hugged me and she said she understood how much I miss her.

✓ We were at home; she hugged me and said she understood how much I missed her.

Maintain past tense consistency: 'miss' should be 'missed' to match 'understood' and the past dream context. Also avoid unnecessary repeated 'she' and use punctuation to join clauses.

× I think it's actually have a special meaning that my maybe my late mother wanted to encourage me as she knows I'm really stressed of studying she because she always used to encourage me when she was with me so.

✓ I think it actually has a special meaning: maybe my late mother wanted to encourage me because she knew I was really stressed from studying; she always used to encourage me when she was with me.

Multiple errors: verb form 'have' should be 'has' to match 'it'; awkward word order and repeated words 'my maybe my.' Use past tense 'knew' and 'was' for consistency. Replace 'stressed of studying' with 'stressed from studying.' Add punctuation to separate ideas. This addresses tense, verb form, preposition, and sentence structure errors.

× Yes, sometime actually, I hope to make my dreams come true because I remember one time I used to have a dream about my long distance boyfriend just fly to fly over to meet me.

✓ Yes, actually sometimes I hope to make my dreams come true because I remember once I had a dream about my long-distance boyfriend flying over to meet me.

Use 'sometimes' placement and remove 'used to' which implies habitual past; 'once' or 'one time' fits a single remembered instance. 'Just fly to fly over' is redundant; use 'flying over.' Hyphenate 'long-distance.' This fixes adverb placement, tense, and verb form.

× And I really hope, uh, it can come. It can come true so that I can meet her with him early and that we can have some quality time spent together.

✓ And I really hope it can come true so that I can meet him and that we can have some quality time together.

Pronoun inconsistency: 'boyfriend' is male, so use 'him' not 'her.' Remove redundant 'it can come.' 'Meet him and that we can have some quality time together' is clearer. Remove 'spent' after 'time' since 'have some quality time together' is the natural expression.