Emails— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more fluent and natural by avoiding repetition and correcting grammar mistakes. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences.

例: Not really, to be honest. I usually use other applications like WeChat or QQ to communicate with others because they are more convenient for me.

提案: Provide a clear and complete sentence as your topic sentence, then add supporting details using linking words. Avoid fragmented sentences and be specific about the context.

例: I usually send emails when I apply for a job. For example, I send my resume to the company's recruitment email address.

提案: Make your answer more coherent by using linking words and completing your thoughts. Avoid incomplete sentences and clarify your points with specific examples.

例: I think sending emails is popular in China, but not very popular among students because we often use other applications. However, as people grow up and start working, they need to use email more often.

提案: Clarify your ideas and use linking words to make your answer logical. Also, correct grammar mistakes and explain your opinion with specific reasons.

例: I think sending emails will become more popular in the future because people can use email to communicate at work, and then avoid using it after work. This helps separate work and personal life.

× Not really to be honest, because I usually use other applications such as WeChat or or QQ to. Conservation with others To have a conservation with others.

✓ Not really, to be honest, because I usually use other applications such as WeChat or QQ to have a conversation with others.

The word 'Conservation' is incorrect here; the correct word is 'conversation'. Also, the sentence structure is fragmented and includes repeated words ('or or'). The phrase 'to have a conversation with others' correctly uses the verb in the infinitive form to express purpose.

× Sometimes when I need to apply a job. Position. Then I will send my resume to the. Companies recruit e-mail.

✓ Sometimes when I need to apply for a job position, I will send my resume to the company's recruitment email.

The phrase 'apply a job' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'apply for a job'. 'Companies recruit e-mail' is incorrect; it should be 'company's recruitment email' to indicate possession and correct noun usage. Also, sentence fragments were combined for clarity.

× I think it is popular but. Not very popular around among the student group because we often use other application.

✓ I think it is popular but not very popular among the student group because we often use other applications.

The word 'application' should be plural 'applications' to agree with 'other', which implies more than one. Also, 'around among' is redundant; 'among' alone is sufficient.

× But when you grow up and you need to in join the.

✓ But when you grow up and need to join the workforce.

The phrase 'need to in join the' is incorrect and incomplete. The correct phrase is 'need to join the' followed by the object, such as 'workforce'. This correction completes the sentence and fixes the verb phrase.

× I think it will be more popular in the future because if people use e-mail to communicate at work and after the work, they can not use it.

✓ I think it will be more popular in the future because if people use email to communicate at work, they cannot use it after work.

The phrase 'can not' should be 'cannot' as one word. Also, the sentence structure was adjusted for clarity and correct modal verb usage. The phrase 'after the work' is better as 'after work'.

× It can separate the work and life.

✓ It can separate work and life.

The definite article 'the' is unnecessary before 'work' and 'life' in this context. Removing 'the' makes the sentence more natural and grammatically correct.