Art— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more direct and concise with a clear topic sentence, add a reason and a brief example using linking words. Avoid repetition ("quit" used twice) and grammatical errors ("found I had" -> "haven't had").

例: Yes, I do — I loved drawing as a child, but I haven't had much spare time lately, so I stopped practicing. For example, I used to sketch for an hour after school, but university assignments now take up that time.

提案: Start with a full sentence as a topic sentence, then give a specific reason and an example. Use linking words like "because" or "for example," and correct small grammar issues ("Always makes me" -> "They always make me").

例: Yes, I enjoy visiting galleries because they display beautiful and inspiring works. For example, seeing landscape paintings in a recent exhibition made me feel relaxed and lifted my mood.

提案: Give a clearer topic sentence and expand slightly with a reason and a possible future intention using linking words like "but" or "however." Be specific about what you might learn and when.

例: I am interested in learning more about art, but I don't have spare time at the moment because of work. However, I hope to take an evening course next year to learn about modern painting techniques.

提案: Avoid repetition and fix grammar ("studies was" -> "studies were"). Provide a concise topic sentence, one reason, and one specific detail about what you learned using linking words like "because" or "so."

例: Yes, I learned traditional Chinese drawing from a master when I was young, but I stopped because my schoolwork became increasingly hectic. For instance, I had to give up weekly lessons during high school due to heavy homework.

× I used to love drawing when I was a kid, but recently I found I had no spare time to do that so I quit this habit.

✓ I used to love drawing when I was a kid, but recently I have found I have had no spare time to do it, so I quit that habit.

The sentence mixes simple past ('recently I found') with a present relevance timeframe. Use present perfect ('have found', 'have had') to show recent experience affecting the present. Also replace 'do that' with 'do it' and 'this habit' with 'that habit' for clearer reference. Grammar_problem_type_id:5

× Sure, enjoy those beautiful collections. Always makes me feel relaxed and any kind of art can lift up my mood.

✓ Sure, I enjoy those beautiful collections. They always make me feel relaxed, and any kind of art can lift my mood.

The original has sentence fragments and missing subject ('enjoy' and 'Always makes'). Add subject 'I' for the first clause and 'They' for the second. Use 'make' to agree with plural subject and prefer 'lift my mood' rather than 'lift up my mood'. Grammar_problem_type_id:26

× Although I'm fond of art, I don't think I have spare time learning it.

✓ Although I'm fond of art, I don't think I have spare time to learn it.

After 'have spare time' the infinitive form 'to learn' is more natural than the gerund 'learning'. Use the infinitive to express purpose or activity one cannot do due to lack of time. Grammar_problem_type_id:8

× Yes, back then I learned traditional Chinese drawing with a specific master, but I quickly quit. But I quickly quit it because the studies was more and more hectic.

✓ Yes, back then I learned traditional Chinese drawing from a particular master, but I quit quickly because my studies became more and more hectic.

Use 'from' rather than 'with' to indicate the teacher. Remove repetitive 'But I quickly quit.' Combine clauses for clarity. 'Studies' is plural, so use plural verb 'became' not 'was'. Place 'quickly' appropriately. Also 'a specific master' is awkward; 'a particular master' is more natural. Grammar_problem_type_id:5