Talents— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains some grammatical errors and redundancy. Try to be more concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence. Also, use correct vocabulary and sentence structure to improve clarity. Avoid unnecessary repetition and ensure the instrument's name is correct and explained briefly.

例: Yes, I have a talent for playing a traditional musical instrument called the 'censure'. I started learning it about three years ago, and I really enjoy playing it because it connects me to my culture.

提案: Your answer is confusing because of inconsistent timelines and unclear expressions. Make sure to answer the question directly and maintain consistency. Use linking words to explain reasons and outcomes clearly, and avoid incomplete or unclear phrases.

例: I actually started learning the instrument 40 years ago when I was young. At that time, I wanted to relax and relieve stress, and my tutor often praised my skills, which motivated me to continue.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but lacks fluency and contains some grammatical errors. Try to organise your ideas clearly using linking words, and complete your sentences fully. Also, provide specific examples of how your talent can be useful in your work.

例: Although I haven't considered it before, my talent can help me manage stress as a nurse. Moreover, I could play the instrument to comfort children in the hospital, helping them feel more relaxed during their stay.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains some awkward phrasing and vocabulary errors. Try to use more natural expressions and correct word choices. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, my siblings and nieces share similar talents; they play instruments like the guitar and flute. When we get together, we enjoy playing music, which creates a lively and joyful atmosphere.

× I have talent to play music.

✓ I have a talent for playing music.

The phrase 'have talent to play' is incorrect. The correct form is 'have a talent for' followed by the gerund form of the verb, so 'playing music' is correct. This is because 'talent for' is followed by a noun or gerund to indicate the skill.

× If I'm not mistaken, it was three years ago I started to learn instrument, musical instrument, which is called censure.

✓ If I'm not mistaken, it was three years ago that I started to learn a musical instrument called the censure.

The sentence structure is awkward and missing articles. 'Learn instrument, musical instrument' is incorrect; it should be 'learn a musical instrument'. Also, 'which is called censure' should be integrated smoothly. Adding 'that' after 'three years ago' clarifies the sentence.

× which is called censure.

✓ which is called the censure.

When referring to a specific musical instrument by name, the definite article 'the' is used before the name, so it should be 'the censure'.

× It's a traditional musical instrument in our country and I had a great.

✓ It's a traditional musical instrument in our country, and I had a great time learning it.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'I had a great.' which is incomplete. It needs an object or complement to complete the thought, such as 'a great time learning it'.

× I started to learn it 40 years ago and on that time I didn't have any concerns and I didn't have a lot in mind.

✓ I started to learn it 40 years ago, and at that time I didn't have any concerns and didn't have much on my mind.

The phrase 'on that time' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'at that time'. Also, 'didn't have a lot in mind' is better expressed as 'didn't have much on my mind'.

× So I started to learn this musical instrument to recharge my batteries and relieve my s s.

✓ So I started to learn this musical instrument to recharge my batteries and relieve my stress.

The abbreviation 's s' is unclear and likely a typo for 'stress'. It should be written fully as 'stress' for clarity.

× But my tutor told me I had a stunning skill and he always gave me compliments.

✓ But my tutor told me I had stunning skills and he always gave me compliments.

'A stunning skill' is unnatural; 'stunning skills' is more appropriate. Also, 'always gave me compliments' is correct past tense usage.

× So it's can help to relieve my stress and also I can use this musical instrument for children and and they can be relaxed during staying in hospital.

✓ So it can help to relieve my stress, and I can also use this musical instrument for children so they can relax during their stay in the hospital.

'It's can help' is incorrect; 'it can help' is correct. Also, 'during staying in hospital' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'during their stay in the hospital'.

× Yes, my siblings and my nieces have the same talent like to me, they sometimes play guitar, flutes and a lot.

✓ Yes, my siblings and my nieces have the same talent as me; they sometimes play guitar, flutes, and many other instruments.

'Like to me' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'the same talent as me'. Also, 'and a lot' is vague and should be clarified as 'and many other instruments'.

× We hang out with each other and play lots of music, musical instruments.

✓ We hang out together and play lots of music using musical instruments.

'Hang out with each other' is redundant; 'hang out together' is more natural. Also, 'play lots of music, musical instruments' is awkward; it should be 'play lots of music using musical instruments'.

× It's producer energetic atmosphere and delight for the atmosphere.

✓ It produces an energetic and delightful atmosphere.

'It's producer energetic atmosphere and delight for the atmosphere' is grammatically incorrect. The correct form is 'It produces an energetic and delightful atmosphere'.