Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 你嘅答案有啲重複同埋唔夠流暢，建議你可以用一個清晰嘅主題句開始，然後用連接詞去組織細節，避免重複同埋語言停頓。

例: When I was a child, an advertisement for chocolate milk really impressed me because it featured a dancing chocolate cow and a milk cow, which was very memorable and fun to watch.

提案: 你嘅答案有啲冗長同埋語法唔夠自然，建議你用更簡潔嘅句子同埋適當嘅連接詞，令答案更流暢同有邏輯。

例: Yes, I often see many advertisements on buses, including those for skincare, phones, and clothing, probably because buses can reach a wide audience.

提案: 你嘅答案有語法錯誤同埋表達唔夠清晰，建議你用正確嘅時態同埋連接詞，並且避免語法錯誤，令表達更自然。

例: Actually, I dislike advertisements because they are annoying, especially online ads that pop up while I watch videos. However, sometimes they make me want to buy the products, which can be a waste of time and money.

提案: 你嘅答案有啲語法錯誤同埋結構唔夠清晰，建議你用更簡潔嘅句子，並且用連接詞令答案更連貫。

例: As a secondary school student preparing for university, I like watching university advertisements because they provide useful information about courses and campus life.

提案: 你嘅答案有語法錯誤同埋用詞不當，建議你注意動詞形式同埋句子結構，令表達更自然流暢。

例: I often see advertisements on my phone because I usually play games or watch YouTube, and many ads pop up, which disturb my experience.

× I watch an advertisement which really struck me.

✓ I watched an advertisement which really struck me.

The sentence refers to a past event ('when you were a child'), so the verb should be in the past tense. 'Watch' is present tense; it should be 'watched' to match the past context.

× They asked.

✓ It asked.

The subject 'advertisement' is singular, so the verb should agree in third person singular form. 'They' is plural and incorrect here; 'It' is correct.

× In the advertisement there are uh, chocolate cow and a milk cow dancing.

✓ In the advertisement there are, uh, a chocolate cow and a milk cow dancing.

The noun phrase is missing an article before 'chocolate cow'. Also, 'are' is correct because it refers to plural cows. Adding 'a' before 'chocolate cow' is necessary for grammatical correctness.

× phones, clothings or any other commodities

✓ phones, clothing or any other commodities

'Clothing' is an uncountable noun and does not have a plural form 'clothings'. The correct form is 'clothing'.

× I guess this is because the bus can reach a wide range of audiences to see the advertisements.

✓ I guess this is because the bus can reach a wide range of audiences who can see the advertisements.

The phrase 'to see the advertisements' is incorrectly used as an infinitive purpose clause. It should be a relative clause 'who can see the advertisements' to clarify the meaning.

× Of course I dislike advertisements, it is really annoying.

✓ Of course I dislike advertisements; they are really annoying.

'Advertisements' is plural, so the pronoun referring to it should be 'they' and the verb 'are' to agree in number. Also, the original sentence is a comma splice; it should be separated properly.

× Online ads in particular popped up while I'm watching some videos or TV.

✓ Online ads in particular pop up while I'm watching some videos or TV.

The sentence describes a habitual action, so the present simple tense 'pop up' is appropriate instead of past tense 'popped up'.

× But it seems like make me desire to buy that products.

✓ But it seems like it makes me desire to buy those products.

'Products' is plural, so the demonstrative pronoun should be 'those' instead of 'that'. Also, the verb phrase needs 'it' as subject and 'makes' in third person singular form.

× It is waste of time and money.

✓ It is a waste of time and money.

The phrase 'waste of time and money' requires the indefinite article 'a' before 'waste' because 'waste' is a singular countable noun here.

× I'd like to watch the university advertisements and to know more about information of them.

✓ I'd like to watch the university advertisements and to know more information about them.

The phrase 'more about information of them' is incorrect. The correct prepositional phrase is 'more information about them'.

× Since I usually use my phone to playing games or even watching YouTube, there's many advertisements pop up and disturb my games or video.

✓ Since I usually use my phone to play games or even watch YouTube, many advertisements pop up and disturb my games or videos.

After 'to' (infinitive marker), the base form of the verb should be used ('play', 'watch'), not the '-ing' form. Also, 'there's' (there is) is singular and incorrect for plural 'advertisements'; it should be omitted or replaced with 'many advertisements' as subject. 'Video' should be plural 'videos' to match 'games'.