Swimming— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答が不自然で、言葉の繰り返しや意味の不明瞭さが多いです。質問に対して直接的に答え、理由を明確に述べる練習をしましょう。また、不要な「あー」や「えー」を減らし、簡潔に話すことが重要です。

例: No, I don't like swimming because I have always felt uncomfortable in the water since I was a child. Even now, I find it difficult to swim well.

提案: 文法の誤りや言葉の繰り返しが多く、意味が伝わりにくいです。質問に対して明確に答え、理由を具体的に述べる練習をしましょう。また、接続詞を使って文をつなげると自然な流れになります。

例: Yes, learning to swim is difficult for me because I am not used to the feeling of being in the water. Unlike other sports, you cannot practice swimming anywhere, which makes it harder.

提案: 内容は理解できますが、言葉の繰り返しや不自然な表現が目立ちます。より具体的な理由や状況を説明し、接続詞を使って文をつなげる練習をしましょう。

例: Many Japanese people like to swim in the sea. However, recently, rising costs have made it difficult for some to visit the seashore. Therefore, many young people prefer to swim in night pools instead.

提案: 回答が不明瞭で、文法や語彙の誤りがあります。質問に対して明確に答え、違いを具体的に説明する練習をしましょう。接続詞を使って論理的に話すことも大切です。

例: One important difference is that swimming in the sea allows you to experience nature and see marine life, while swimming in a pool is more controlled and lacks these natural elements.

× when I was in kindergarten and there were some schools about, uh, swimming

✓ when I was in kindergarten, there were some schools about swimming

The phrase 'there were some schools about, uh, swimming' is awkward due to the unnecessary comma and filler words. Removing the comma and filler words clarifies the sentence and correctly uses 'there were' to indicate existence in the past.

× but uh, I don't agree that swimming and, uh, I hate, uh, a feeling, uh, in the water

✓ but uh, I don't like swimming and, uh, I hate, uh, the feeling, uh, in the water

The phrase 'I don't agree that swimming' is incorrect because 'agree' is not the appropriate verb here. The student likely meant 'I don't like swimming.' Also, 'a feeling' should be 'the feeling' to specify the particular sensation in the water.

× even in adults, I can't, uh, do it really well

✓ even as an adult, I can't, uh, do it really well

The phrase 'even in adults' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'even as an adult' to indicate the speaker's own experience.

× it's a, it's a very difficult for me

✓ it's very difficult for me

The phrase 'it's a, it's a very difficult' is redundant and incorrect. 'Difficult' is an adjective and does not require an article 'a' before it.

× to be used to uh, the feeling inside a water

✓ to get used to the feeling inside the water

The phrase 'to be used to' is incorrect here; the correct expression is 'to get used to' meaning to become accustomed to something. Also, 'a water' should be 'the water' as it refers to a specific context.

× practice, uh, other, uh, Australia sports

✓ practice other Australian sports

The phrase 'Australia sports' is incorrect; the correct adjective form is 'Australian' to describe the sports.

× you can practice, uh, in front of the around, but the swing can't do

✓ you can practice around, but you can't do swimming

The phrase 'in front of the around' is incorrect and unclear. 'Practice around' is more natural. Also, 'the swing can't do' is incorrect; it should be 'you can't do swimming'.

× a lot of Japanese people like to, uh, go to the sea, uh, for swimming

✓ a lot of Japanese people like to go to the sea for swimming

The sentence is mostly correct but removing unnecessary commas improves clarity.

× a high rising departure, uh, made it uh, difficult, uh, for many people to uh, visit the seashore

✓ a high-rise development has made it difficult for many people to visit the seashore

The phrase 'a high rising departure' is incorrect. The correct term is 'a high-rise development'. Also, 'made it difficult' should be in present perfect tense to indicate recent impact.

× in modern society, a lot of young people go to a night pool

✓ in modern society, a lot of young people go to night pools

The phrase 'a night pool' is incorrect; plural 'night pools' is more appropriate when referring to such places generally.

× which you can, uh, fill with the nature or not

✓ which you can enjoy nature or not

The phrase 'fill with the nature' is incorrect; 'enjoy nature' is the correct expression.

× you can see a lot of the sea and some, uh, biology in the, uh, sea avatar

✓ you can see a lot of sea life and some biology in the sea water

The phrase 'a lot of the sea' is incorrect; 'a lot of sea life' is appropriate. 'Sea avatar' is incorrect; likely meant 'sea water'.

× You can do that in the pool

✓ You cannot do that in the pool

The sentence contradicts the intended meaning; the speaker means that you cannot see sea life in the pool, so 'cannot' is needed.