Swimming— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and natural: start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No + brief reason), keep sentences concise (max 5), correct grammar (tenses, articles, word forms) and avoid redundancy. Add one specific supporting detail and a linking word. For example, use present simple for current preference, say why you stopped and give a specific consequence or example.

例: No, I don't like swimming much anymore because I'm busy with work and rarely have time to go. For example, I used to swim three times a week as a child, but now I can only go once a month, so I've lost the habit.

提案: Begin with a concise topic sentence answering the question, then give specific supporting reasons using linking words (e.g., because, since). Correct grammar (use perfect or past forms correctly) and avoid repeating ideas. Keep within five sentences.

例: No, I don't find it difficult because I learned to swim when I was a child, so the basic strokes feel natural to me. However, I don't swim often now, which means I have to practice to regain my stamina.

提案: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence and then give two specific groups with contrasting details using linking words (e.g., while, whereas). Fix grammar (articles, verb forms) and avoid hesitations. Provide an example location or typical behaviour to add concreteness.

例: Many people who can afford it prefer to swim in private or public pools, while those who cannot often swim in rivers or lakes. For instance, families in rural areas commonly go to the nearest river on weekends because it is free and convenient.

提案: Start with a clear comparative topic sentence (Pools vs seas), then list two or three concrete differences using linking words (for example, whereas, in contrast). Use correct adjectives (fresh vs salty, cold), and avoid vague or incomplete sentences. Give one specific example to illustrate a difference (e.g., waves, safety, depth).

例: Swimming in a pool is usually calmer and safer because the water is still and the depth is controlled, whereas swimming in the sea is more challenging due to waves, currents and colder, salty water. For example, in a pool you can practice laps easily, but at the beach you must watch for strong currents and wear a wetsuit if the water is cold.

× I did but now I do not like swim because now I'm a grow up and I don't have much time to go and swim and also swim water make me cold, common cold.

✓ I used to, but now I do not like swimming because I have grown up and I don't have much time to go swimming, and the water makes me cold and gives me a common cold.

The student intended to express a past habit; use 'used to' for past habitual actions (past tense issue). 'like swim' is incorrect: verb after 'like' should be gerund 'swimming' (Verb + -ing form, but only correct listed types applied: primary is past tense issue). 'I'm a grow up' is ungrammatical; correct is 'I have grown up' (present perfect to show change to adulthood). 'go and swim' is redundant—use 'go swimming'. 'swim water make me cold' has subject-verb agreement and noun order errors; correct to 'the water makes me cold' and add 'gives me a common cold' for clarity.

× For me, it's not because I used to swim since I was child. That's why I don't feel difficult to swim at all. But I don't like to swim.

✓ For me, it's not difficult because I have been swimming since I was a child. That's why I don't find swimming difficult at all. But I don't like swimming.

'I used to swim since I was child' mixes 'used to' with 'since' incorrectly. Use present perfect continuous or present perfect: 'I have been swimming since I was a child' (past tense issue). 'don't feel difficult to swim' is incorrect; use 'don't find swimming difficult' to link subject and adjective properly. Use gerund after 'like': 'like swimming'.

× In my country, mostly who afford swimming pool, they go to swim in swimming pool and who doesn't uh afford swimming pool? They, they are going to swim swimming in the river because here is lots of river in our country.

✓ In my country, people who can afford a swimming pool go to swim in pools, and those who can't afford a pool go swimming in the river because there are many rivers in our country.

The sentence misuses relative pronouns and subjects: 'mostly who afford swimming pool' is incorrect; use 'people who can afford a swimming pool' (incorrect use of pronouns). Replace 'they are going to swim swimming' with 'go swimming' and fix agreement: 'here is lots of river' should be 'there are many rivers' (subject-verb agreement and pluralization). Also use article 'a' before 'swimming pool' (article errors but primary issue is pronoun use).

× There are a lot fast different when you are swimming a pool, the, the results small, uh, place and the water is not fresh.

✓ There are many differences when you swim in a pool: the area is small and the water is not fresh.

'a lot fast different' is ungrammatical; use 'many differences' (incorrect use of adjectives/quantifiers). 'swimming a pool' requires preposition 'in' ('swim in a pool') and article 'a' before 'pool' (incorrect use of articles/prepositions). 'the results small, place' is unclear; likely meant 'the area is small' or 'the space is small.' The corrected sentence uses concise, grammatical phrasing.

× And when you are swimming a sea, there are lots of place and the water is freeze and also, uh, it's.

✓ When you swim in the sea, there is a lot of space and the water is cold and also fresher.

'swimming a sea' needs preposition 'in' ('swim in the sea') and article use: 'the sea' (preposition/article issue but primary error is adjective use). 'lots of place' should be 'a lot of space' or 'many places' (pluralization and quantifier). 'the water is freeze' uses wrong verb form; use adjective 'cold' or past participle 'frozen' appropriately. 'also, uh, it's' is incomplete; specify 'also fresher' to contrast with pool water. The correction provides proper adjective choices and completes the thought.