Swimming— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason and a brief supporting detail. Use correct verb forms and avoid repetition. For example, say when and why you like swimming and a short detail about who swims.

例: Yes, I enjoy swimming, especially in summer. I like it because it cools me down on very hot days, and many people go to pools or beaches to relax and exercise.

提案: Provide a clear direct answer and correct grammar when describing past experiences. Use one linking word to sequence events and a specific detail about why it was hard or helpful. Avoid filler words like 'uh'.

例: Yes, I found it difficult at first. When I was younger I nearly drowned in a river, so I was very afraid, but taking lessons helped me gain confidence and useful skills.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence and then give specific reasons with linking words. Use correct noun forms and avoid repetition. Mention examples of facilities or alternatives to make the answer concrete.

例: Most people in my country prefer swimming pools. They are affordable, safe and have facilities like changing rooms and lifeguards, although some people also swim at beaches or rivers for free.

提案: State a clear comparison with one or two specific differences using linking words (for example, 'however' or 'while'). Correct grammar and complete sentences are important. Explain why the sea is more dangerous with a specific reason and maybe a benefit of each.

例: They differ in safety and conditions: swimming in the sea can be more dangerous because of strong currents and waves, while pools are calmer and monitored by lifeguards. However, the sea offers more space and natural scenery.

× Of course, of course I really like swimming, especially in summer because in some more.

✓ Of course, of course I really like swimming, especially in summer because it is much hotter then.

The original sentence has a missing subject and incorrect phrase 'in some more'. This is a 'there be' / sentence structure issue where a clause needs a subject and verb to describe the weather. Use 'it is' to refer to the weather and 'much hotter then' or 'it gets much hotter then' to be clear. Suggestion: form a complete clause with subject + verb and use comparative 'hotter' with an adverb like 'much'.

× Would be very hot and I think everybody ran to swimming.

✓ It would be very hot and I think everybody ran to swim.

The sentence lacks a subject for 'Would be' and uses incorrect verb form 'to swimming.' This is a subject-verb agreement/structure error. Add the subject 'It' for the conditional 'would' and use the base form 'swim' after 'to' ('to swim'), or use the gerund without 'to' ('went swimming'). Suggestion: use 'It would be very hot, and I think everybody would go swimming' or 'everybody went to swim' depending on intended meaning.

× Yes, of course. I think it's difficult, uh, for me, uh, when I was younger, uh, I drawn it, uh, to the river, uh, at the time I learned to swim.

✓ Yes, of course. I think it was difficult for me. When I was younger, I was taken to the river when I learned to swim.

The student uses 'drawn' incorrectly; the correct past tense/passive is 'was taken' (or 'they took me'). Also tense consistency: 'I think it's difficult' should be 'I think it was difficult for me' when referring to past. This is a past tense and past participle form error. Suggestion: use the simple past 'took' or passive 'was taken' and keep tense consistent when speaking about past experiences.

× Actually many people like swim at swimming pool in my country because it's very affordable for everyone and comfortable and there are many facilities to swim to swimming pool.

✓ Actually many people like to swim at swimming pools in my country because they are very affordable and comfortable, and there are many facilities at the swimming pools.

Errors include missing 'to' after 'like', wrong preposition 'at swimming pool' (needs article/plural), and awkward 'facilities to swim to swimming pool.' Use 'like to swim' and 'at swimming pools' or 'in the swimming pool.' Also use 'facilities at the swimming pools.' Suggestion: include correct prepositions and articles and make nouns plural when speaking generally.

× Of course, there are different There are many difference between these two types of swimming and I I consider that swimming in the sea is more dangerous because.

✓ Of course, there are many differences between these two types of swimming, and I consider that swimming in the sea is more dangerous because...

The original repeats phrases, omits plural 'differences', and ends abruptly with 'because.' This is a sentence structure error: avoid repetition, use plural for countable noun 'differences', and complete the reason after 'because.' Suggestion: say 'there are many differences' and finish the clause, for example 'because there are currents and waves.'

× There is a flow of water, but we mean.

✓ There is a strong current in the sea, which can be dangerous.

'Flow of water' is not wrong but awkward; 'we mean' is unclear and ungrammatical. This is an incorrect preposition/phrase usage and sentence fragment. Replace with a clear clause explaining the idea: 'there is a strong current' or 'there are currents.' Suggestion: use precise nouns ('current') and connectives ('which', 'that') to complete the thought.