Watch— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct grammar, use a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Avoid repetition and keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I like wearing watches. I own several, many of which were gifts from friends and family, and I wear one every day for work. Wearing a watch makes me feel more professional and helps me keep track of time so I’m punctual.

提案: Start with a direct answer, use correct tense and more precise details, and connect ideas with linking words. Avoid unnecessary names if they don't add value.

例: Yes, I have received watches as gifts several times. For example, a close friend gave me my first watch, and my father gave me another one for my 18th birthday. Those gifts are why I now have a small collection.

提案: Give a clearer topic sentence and two specific reasons, use linking words and correct grammar. Avoid vague phrases and unnecessary personal anecdotes unless they support the point.

例: Many people wear expensive watches to signal status and success. In addition, luxury watches are often seen as investments or craftsmanship items, so buyers appreciate both the prestige and the quality.

提案: Answer directly, use natural grammar, and give two clear benefits with linking words and a specific example. Avoid unclear phrases like 'get more many' and keep sentences concise.

例: Yes, I think wearing a watch is useful. Firstly, it helps you monitor time easily, which improves time management. Secondly, being punctual can enhance your professional image and reduce stress—for instance, I rarely miss appointments when I wear a watch.

× some of them are gifted from my friends and cousins when I work.

✓ some of them were gifted to me by my friends and cousins when I worked.

Use correct prepositions and tense: 'gifted to me by' is the usual passive phrasing and 'when I worked' matches past time of receiving. 'Are gifted from' is incorrect preposition choice and present tense conflict.

× We are watch every day at my work.

✓ We wear watches every day at my work.

Plural subject requires correct verb and noun form: 'wear' (not 'are watch') and 'watches' plural. The original used incorrect verb phrase and noun number.

× I believe it enhance my personality and they give me confidence that I am very punctual in my life.

✓ I believe it enhances my personality and gives me confidence that I am punctual in my life.

Third-person singular subject 'it' requires 'enhances'. Also match verbs to subjects: 'it' (a watch) gives confidence, so use singular 'gives'. Remove redundant 'very' and 'in my life' is unnecessary; simplified to maintain natural English.

× I received a watch as a gift many times in my life.

✓ I have received watches as gifts many times in my life.

Use present perfect 'have received' for experiences up to now and plural 'watches' and 'gifts' to match 'many times'.

× For the first time, I received a Gachibowli watch from one of my best friends named Leah and secondly, I received on my 18th birthday from my father.

✓ The first time I received a Gachibowli watch from one of my best friends, Leah; I also received a watch on my 18th birthday from my father.

Clarify word order and preposition placement: 'received on my 18th birthday' must include the object 'a watch' and commas improve clarity. 'Named' is unnecessary here.

× That's why I told you that I had several watches.

✓ That's why I said I have several watches.

Maintain present relevance: use 'said' or 'told you' with present perfect/contextual present 'I have several watches' rather than past 'had'.

× The first and foremost reason behind this phenomena is the show of Some people would love to show their high standard of living to others, so I believe that that could That's why they often wear the expensive watches.

✓ The main reason is that some people like to show their high standard of living to others, so they often wear expensive watches.

Correct 'phenomena' (plural) to 'reason' or 'phenomenon' and fix word order. Remove redundant fragments and quantifier errors: 'the expensive watches' -> 'expensive watches'. Also remove duplicate 'that' and extra clauses.

× I have one friend named Ria who love to wear expensive washes.

✓ I have one friend named Ria who loves to wear expensive watches.

Third-person singular 'Ria' requires 'loves'. Also 'washes' is a typo for 'watches'.

× Definitely watch.

✓ Definitely, yes, I think wearing a watch is important.

Fragment 'Definitely watch.' lacks a verb and clear structure. Provide a full sentence expressing agreement and reason.

× Wearing a watch would be beneficial to 1's life.

✓ Wearing a watch can be beneficial to one's life.

Use 'can be' to express general truth; original used numeral '1' and 'would be' which is less appropriate for general statements.

× you can manage your time prospectively.

✓ you can manage your time proactively or effectively.

'Prospectively' is incorrect in this context; 'proactively' or 'effectively' convey intended meaning.

× Secondly, you would become a more punctual person and can get more many.

✓ Secondly, you can become a more punctual person and achieve more.

Use consistent modal 'can' for ability; 'get more many' is ungrammatical — 'achieve more' or 'get more done' are correct alternatives.