Cars— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains some language errors. The word 'amoxophobia' is not commonly used or recognized, and 'horrified of TR traveling' is awkward. Try to use simpler, clearer language and avoid unnecessary abbreviations or unclear terms. Also, provide a clear topic sentence and support it with specific details using linking words.

例: When I was a child, I was afraid of traveling by car because I felt uncomfortable and anxious. Therefore, my family usually chose to travel by plane or bus instead.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be more natural and concise. Avoid filler phrases like 'This is my answer, yeah.' Also, try to use linking words to connect your ideas and provide more specific reasons or examples to support your preference.

例: I'm not very interested in cars, but I prefer family-oriented vehicles that are practical and fuel-efficient because they make traveling with my family easier and more comfortable.

提案: Your answer is a bit long and repetitive, and the phrase 'In my assumption, this is a rhetorical question' is unnecessary. Try to answer directly with a clear topic sentence, then support it with specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repeating words and keep your answer concise.

例: I prefer to be a passenger because driving requires a lot of attention and responsibility, which can be stressful. As a passenger, I can relax and enjoy the journey.

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but you can improve coherence by using more linking words and varying your vocabulary. Also, try to avoid informal phrases like 'do something funny' and be more specific about what you do to stay calm.

例: I used to get very angry when I was stuck in traffic jams. However, I have decided to stay calm by listening to music or watching funny videos on my phone, which helps me relax.

× I used to have an amoxophobia. Therefore I was horrified of TR traveling by car.

✓ I used to have amoxophobia. Therefore, I was horrified of traveling by car.

The article 'an' is incorrectly used before 'amoxophobia' because 'amoxophobia' is an uncountable noun referring to a fear. Also, 'TR' seems to be a typo and should be removed. Additionally, a comma is needed after 'Therefore' to separate the clauses properly.

× Therefore I was horrified of TR traveling by car.

✓ Therefore, I was horrified of traveling by car.

The phrase 'horrified of' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'horrified by' or 'horrified at'. However, 'horrified of' is commonly used informally, but the more standard form is 'horrified by'. Also, 'TR' is a typo and should be removed.

× So whenever we wanted to trip somewhere, we used plane or bus.

✓ So whenever we wanted to travel somewhere, we used a plane or a bus.

The verb 'trip' is incorrectly used; the correct verb is 'travel' when referring to going somewhere. Also, 'plane' and 'bus' need the indefinite article 'a' before them because they are singular countable nouns.

× I prefer cars which are family oriented and useful and efficient for traveling and family matters.

✓ I prefer cars that are family-oriented, useful, and efficient for traveling and family matters.

The relative pronoun 'which' is better replaced by 'that' when referring to essential clauses. Also, 'family oriented' should be hyphenated as 'family-oriented' because it is a compound adjective before a noun. Commas are needed to separate adjectives in a list.

× In my assumption, this is a rhetorical question and never have I seen a person who says I prefer to be a driver because when you are a driver you you have a lot of tasks and responsibilities to do and you can't enjoy.

✓ In my opinion, this is a rhetorical question, and I have never seen a person who says they prefer to be a driver because when you are a driver, you have a lot of tasks and responsibilities to do, and you can't enjoy it.

The phrase 'In my assumption' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'In my opinion'. The sentence is a run-on and needs commas to separate clauses. The phrase 'never have I seen' is better placed after 'and' for clarity. The repeated word 'you' is a typo and should be removed. Also, 'can't enjoy' needs an object, so 'it' is added.

× never have I seen a person who says I prefer to be a driver because when you are a driver you you have a lot of tasks and responsibilities to do and you can't enjoy.

✓ I have never seen a person who says they prefer to be a driver because when you are a driver, you have a lot of tasks and responsibilities to do, and you can't enjoy it.

The pronoun 'I' in 'who says I prefer' should be changed to 'they' to maintain third person perspective. Also, 'you you' is a repeated typo and should be corrected to 'you'.

× But when you are a passenger you can do whatever you want and enjoy.

✓ But when you are a passenger, you can do whatever you want and enjoy yourself.

The verb 'enjoy' requires an object; adding the reflexive pronoun 'yourself' clarifies the meaning. Also, a comma is needed after 'passenger' to separate clauses.

× I used to get very angry every time I got stuck in a traffic jam.

✓ I used to get very angry every time I got stuck in a traffic jam.

This sentence is grammatically correct in past tense and fits the context, so no correction is needed.

× But I've made a commitment with myself not to get very angry anymore, and at this time I usually listen to music or do something funny.

✓ But I've made a commitment to myself not to get very angry anymore, and now I usually listen to music or do something fun.

The phrase 'made a commitment with myself' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'to myself'. Also, 'at this time' is better replaced with 'now' to indicate current habit. 'Do something funny' is incorrect; 'do something fun' is the correct expression.