Websites— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は意味が伝わりにくい部分があり、文法的な誤りも多いです。より自然で効果的な表現を使い、具体的な理由を明確に述べることが重要です。例えば、訪問するウェブサイトの種類とその理由を簡潔に説明し、冗長な表現を避けましょう。

例: I often visit websites related to fast food chains like McDonald's and KFC because they provide the latest updates on their menus quickly and conveniently.

提案: 回答が不明瞭で文法的に不完全です。質問に直接答え、理由を明確に述べることが必要です。具体的な役割や目的を説明し、論理的なつながりを持たせるために接続詞を使いましょう。

例: My favorite website is my company's recruitment page because I helped design it to attract new employees and share important job information.

提案: 回答は意味が分かりにくく、文法的な誤りもあります。変化について具体的に述べ、理由を明確に説明しましょう。接続詞を使って文をつなげ、自然な表現を心がけてください。

例: The websites I visit have become simpler and use fewer colors than before because too many colors can distract users from important information.

提案: 回答は文法的に不正確で、意味が伝わりにくい部分があります。人気のあるウェブサイトの種類を明確に述べ、具体的な理由や例を加えて説明しましょう。

例: Celebrity news websites are very popular in Japan because many people are interested in the latest gossip and scandals involving famous personalities.

× I often visit website that are about food menu such as McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Mos Burgers because American ice it is the fastest way to know the latest information of their food and menu.

✓ I often visit websites that are about food menus such as McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and Mos Burgers because American ice is the fastest way to know the latest information about their food and menus.

The word 'website' should be plural 'websites' because the sentence refers to multiple sites. Also, 'food menu' should be plural 'food menus' to match the plural subject. Additionally, 'American ice it is' is incorrect; 'it is' is unnecessary here. The phrase 'information of their food and menu' should be 'information about their food and menus' for correct preposition use and plural consistency.

× I often visit website that are about food menu such as McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Mos Burgers because American ice it is the fastest way to know the latest information of their food and menu.

✓ I often visit websites that are about food menus such as McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and Mos Burgers because American ice is the fastest way to know the latest information about their food and menus.

The phrase 'American ice it is' contains an unnecessary pronoun 'it'. Removing 'it is' makes the sentence clearer and grammatically correct.

× My favorite website is our company's website because I was kind of working on to the new the website because I was an HL group that is about recruitment and we wanted to gather employee and.

✓ My favorite website is our company's website because I was kind of working on the new website as part of an HR group that is about recruitment, and we wanted to gather employees.

The phrase 'working on to the new the website' is incorrect; 'on to' should be 'on' and 'the new the website' should be 'the new website'. 'I was an HL group' is incorrect; it should be 'I was part of an HR group'. 'Gather employee and' is incomplete and should be 'gather employees'. Past tense 'was' and 'wanted' are used correctly here.

× My favorite website is our company's website because I was kind of working on to the new the website because I was an HL group that is about recruitment and we wanted to gather employee and.

✓ My favorite website is our company's website because I was kind of working on the new website as part of an HR group that is about recruitment, and we wanted to gather employees.

The preposition 'on to' is incorrect here; it should be 'on'. Also, 'working on to the new the website' has redundant articles; it should be 'working on the new website'. 'I was an HL group' is incorrect; 'as part of an HR group' is appropriate.

× To change that idealized in the website I often visit is the website has less color than before.

✓ The change I noticed in the website I often visit is that the website has fewer colors than before.

'Less color' should be 'fewer colors' because 'colors' is countable. Also, the sentence structure is awkward; rephrasing improves clarity.

× To change that idealized in the website I often visit is the website has less color than before.

✓ The change I noticed in the website I often visit is that the website has fewer colors than before.

The original sentence is awkward and unclear. Reordering the sentence and using correct quantifiers improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× It became more simple than ever because if the website has too much color, it unknowns or interrupts to lead the important information.

✓ It became simpler than ever because if the website has too many colors, it confuses or interrupts the delivery of important information.

'More simple' should be 'simpler' (comparative adjective). 'Too much color' should be 'too many colors' because colors are countable. 'Unknowns or interrupts to lead' is incorrect; 'confuses or interrupts the delivery of' is appropriate.

× It became more simple than ever because if the website has too much color, it unknowns or interrupts to lead the important information.

✓ It became simpler than ever because if the website has too many colors, it confuses or interrupts the delivery of important information.

Use the comparative form 'simpler' instead of 'more simple'. Also, 'unknowns' is not a verb; 'confuses' is correct here.

× The website delayed it to celebrity news is quite popular in my country Japan.

✓ The website related to celebrity news is quite popular in my country, Japan.

'Delayed it to' is incorrect; it should be 'related to'. Also, a comma is needed before 'Japan' as an appositive.

× The website delayed it to celebrity news is quite popular in my country Japan.

✓ The website related to celebrity news is quite popular in my country, Japan.

The phrase 'delayed it to' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'related to'.

× We often want to know what happened between famous celebrities and there are sometimes huge scandal in the website.

✓ We often want to know what happened between famous celebrities, and sometimes there are huge scandals on the website.

The sentence is awkward and missing articles and plural forms. 'Huge scandal' should be 'huge scandals' and 'in the website' should be 'on the website'. Adding a comma before 'and' improves readability.