Websites— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and accurate: start with a clear topic sentence naming the main types of websites, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Correct word choice and grammar (e.g. "main" not "mail", complete sentences) will improve clarity. Avoid repetition and unnecessary fillers.

例: I mainly visit two kinds of websites: online shopping sites and social media platforms. For example, I use UMM for buying clothes because it offers many product options and easy payment. I also use Instagram to keep in touch with friends and meet people from different backgrounds, which helps me broaden my social circle.

提案: Give one clear preference as the main idea, then add a specific reason using linking words. Fix pronunciation/word choice errors ("male" → "main"), reduce fillers ("umm"), and finish sentences. Use vocabulary relevant to online shopping and social media.

例: My favourite website is Instagram because it lets me follow friends and creators and discover new interests. However, I also use online shopping sites regularly since they allow me to compare many products quickly and read reviews before buying.

提案: State the change clearly in the topic sentence, then give a specific example and use linking words (e.g., "for example", "because"). Improve sentence completeness and cohesion; avoid vague phrases like "the well". Mention concrete features (search functions, recommendations, layout) to be more specific.

例: Yes. Websites have become more user-friendly and personalized than before. For example, shopping sites now have better search filters and recommendation systems, so I can quickly find items I want and see suggestions based on my past purchases.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence about the most popular types, then support it with specific details and examples (e.g., search engines, AI chatbots, shopping, social platforms). Remove fillers, correct grammar ("AI tutors are"), and complete thoughts. Explain why these sites are popular (convenience, speed, personalization).

例: In Korea, AI-powered platforms and social media are very popular. For instance, many people use AI chatbots and tutoring apps to get quick answers and personalised learning. Social networks and shopping sites are also widely used because they offer convenience and tailored recommendations.

× I usually visit UMM shopping website online and I also usually use the social media applications.

✓ I usually visit the UMM shopping website online and I also use social media applications.

Redundant adverb 'usually' used twice makes sentence awkward; add definite article 'the' before a specific website name and remove the second 'usually' for fluency. Suggestion: use 'usually' once and include 'the' for specific sites.

× This is mail because it is really easy to communicate with my friends and also I can meet.

✓ This is mainly because it is really easy to communicate with my friends and I can meet them.

The word 'mail' is incorrect; likely intended 'mainly'. Also the verb 'meet' needs an object ('them'). Use 'mainly' (adverb) to modify reason and include 'them' to complete the verb's object.

× I can make new friends from different backgrounds.

✓ I can make new friends from different backgrounds.

Sentence is grammatically correct; subject-verb agreement is fine. No change needed. (Included for completeness.)

× Well, my favorite website is social media website such as Instagram.

✓ Well, my favorite websites are social media sites such as Instagram.

'Social media website' is countable and generic here; use plural 'websites' or 'sites'. Also 'favorite' with plural subject should be 'websites are'. Alternatively: 'my favorite website is Instagram.'

× On the other hand, I also umm, prefer online shopping website.

✓ On the other hand, I also prefer online shopping websites.

Use plural 'websites' when speaking generally. Remove filler 'umm' for clarity. Ensure agreement between plural noun and general preference.

× This is male because umm I can surf the a lot of products conveniently and it.

✓ This is mainly because I can browse a lot of products conveniently.

'Male' is incorrect; should be 'mainly'. Remove filler 'umm' and fix word order: 'browse' or 'surf' followed by 'a lot of products' (no extra article 'the' before 'a lot'). Remove trailing 'and it'.

× Yes, I believe so.

✓ Yes, I believe so.

Sentence is correct and fits present-tense context. No change needed.

× There are several differences between the past and the present.

✓ There are several differences between the past and the present.

Grammatically correct; 'the past' and 'the present' are acceptable. No change needed.

× I think a main change is that the well I can easily find the products that I want because the interface is really well established.

✓ I think a main change is that I can easily find the products I want because the interface is much better now.

Original has extraneous 'the well' and awkward phrasing 'well established' for interface quality. Simplify: remove 'the well', use 'I can easily find the products I want', and say 'the interface is much better now' for clarity and naturalness.

× Well, nowadays in Korea, many people use the umm AI programs.

✓ Well, nowadays in Korea, many people use AI programs.

Remove filler 'umm'. 'AI programs' is fine; no article needed when speaking generally. Keep 'nowadays' for present-tense generalization.

× Well, nowadays the AI platform has developed tremendously, so people can search the useful information easily and conveniently.

✓ Nowadays AI platforms have developed tremendously, so people can find useful information easily and conveniently.

Use plural 'platforms' when speaking generally. 'Search the useful information' is unnatural; use 'find useful information'. Place adverbs 'easily and conveniently' after the verb phrase for natural order.

× Also, sometimes AI tutors is really.

✓ Also, sometimes AI tutors are really helpful.

Subject 'AI tutors' is plural, so verb should be 'are' not 'is'. The sentence was incomplete; add an adjective like 'helpful' to finish the thought and convey meaning.