Holidays— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and clear by avoiding redundancy and grammatical errors. Use linking words to connect ideas logically and provide specific details about your trip. Also, keep your answer within 5 sentences for better effectiveness.

例: I haven't been on a holiday for about two and a half years, but recently I took a short trip with my friends to Texas. We visited Austin, Houston, and San Antonio. In Houston, we explored a beautiful temple and also toured the NASA Space Center. It was an exciting and educational experience.

提案: Focus on structuring your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by specific reasons. Avoid vague phrases like 'and stuff' and use more precise vocabulary. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I love holidays because they help me relax and relieve stress. I especially enjoy exploring new places, such as adventurous destinations and beautiful beaches. These experiences are refreshing and allow me to recharge.

提案: Try to answer directly and clearly. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and repetitive phrases. Provide specific details about the festivals and why you enjoy them. Use linking words to improve coherence.

例: Although I'm not very familiar with US holidays, I enjoy Indian festivals like Dashra and Sankranti. These festivals are widely celebrated and involve cooking traditional foods. I particularly like them because they bring family and friends together to enjoy delicious meals.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and avoid vague expressions like 'like et cetera.' Use linking words to connect your ideas and give specific examples of activities you enjoy during holidays.

例: What I do on holidays depends on the destination. If I visit adventurous places, I enjoy activities like hiking and mountain biking. When I go to the beach, I like to try surfing and scuba diving.

提案: Make your answer more concise and clear by avoiding repetition and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to explain your preferences and provide specific reasons for spending time alone or with family.

例: I enjoy spending time at home both with my family and alone. However, I mostly prefer being alone because it helps me reflect on my thoughts and understand myself better.

提案: Try to avoid repetition and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details. Use linking words to make your answer coherent and provide specific examples of your leisurely activities.

例: I prefer a leisurely holiday because it allows me to rest and recharge. For example, I enjoy cooking my favorite meals at home, relaxing, watching Netflix, and sleeping throughout the weekend.

提案: Clarify your answer by completing your sentences and avoiding filler words. Use linking words to explain your preferences clearly and provide specific examples of when you prefer each type of holiday.

例: I prefer both exciting and peaceful holidays depending on my schedule. If I have a busy week, I choose a peaceful holiday to relax. However, if my week is light, I enjoy an adventurous holiday where I can try new sports.

× I have not been to any holiday from past like two 2 1/2 years, but I just went to a short trip with my friends to Austin like it's a round trip.

✓ I have not been on any holiday for the past two and a half years, but I just went on a short trip with my friends to Austin; it was a round trip.

The phrase 'been to any holiday' is incorrect; we say 'been on holiday'. Also, 'from past like two 2 1/2 years' is awkward and incorrect; the correct expression is 'for the past two and a half years'. The sentence also needed clearer punctuation and phrasing to improve clarity.

× We have covered Austin, Houston and also San Antonio and through all this we have visited a temple in Houston and also with ASA Space Center in.

✓ We have covered Austin, Houston, and San Antonio, and during this trip, we visited a temple in Houston and also the NASA Space Center.

The phrase 'through all this' is incorrect; 'during this trip' is appropriate. 'With ASA Space Center in' is incorrect; it should be 'the NASA Space Center'. Also, 'covered' is acceptable but 'visited' is clearer for places. Proper commas improve readability.

× I love holidays so it's a very it's very refreshing and I can relieve all my stress in the old days and I would like to explore new places like adventurous places and also beaches and stuff.

✓ I love holidays because they are very refreshing and help me relieve all my stress. I would like to explore new places like adventurous locations and beaches.

The phrase 'in the old days' is incorrect in this context; it should be omitted or replaced with a phrase indicating current or recent times. Also, 'like adventurous places and also beaches and stuff' is informal and redundant; 'like adventurous locations and beaches' is clearer and more formal.

× Not much aware about the US all this, but uh, I'll take off from my work during Indian holidays.

✓ I'm not very aware of the US holidays, but I take time off from work during Indian holidays.

The original sentence lacks a subject and proper verb form. 'Not much aware' is incorrect; it should be 'I'm not very aware'. 'Take off from my work' is better expressed as 'take time off from work'.

× So I, we celebrate, uh, Dashra and Sankranti.

✓ So, we celebrate Dashra and Sankranti.

The phrase 'I, we celebrate' is confusing and incorrect. The correct subject is 'we' since the speaker refers to a group. Removing 'I' clarifies the sentence.

× These both are due for two festivals which are celebrated widely by Indian people.

✓ These are two festivals that are widely celebrated by Indian people.

The phrase 'due for two festivals' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'These are two festivals'. Also, 'which are celebrated widely' is better as 'that are widely celebrated' for clarity.

× Uh, I like this both festivals where we cook a lot of food on the day on the day and we enjoy.

✓ I like both of these festivals where we cook a lot of food on the day and enjoy ourselves.

'This both festivals' is incorrect; it should be 'both of these festivals'. Repetition of 'on the day' is unnecessary. Adding 'enjoy ourselves' clarifies the meaning.

× Not exactly like it depends on the destination.

✓ Not exactly; it depends on the destination.

The phrase 'Not exactly like' is incorrect. It should be 'Not exactly;' to indicate a partial or conditional answer.

× So I prefer adventurous destinations where I can explore new kind of adventures like hiking, mountain racing and like et cetera.

✓ So I prefer adventurous destinations where I can explore new kinds of adventures like hiking, mountain racing, and so on.

'New kind of adventures' should be pluralized to 'new kinds of adventures'. 'Like et cetera' is redundant; 'and so on' or 'etc.' is sufficient.

× And I also prefer if I go to beaches, I would like to do surfing, I would like to do scuba diving.

✓ Also, if I go to the beach, I would like to surf and do scuba diving.

'Go to beaches' should be 'go to the beach' for general reference. 'Do surfing' is better as 'surf'. Repetition of 'I would like to do' is unnecessary; combining actions improves flow.

× I would like to spend my time home with my family and alone too.

✓ I would like to spend my time at home with my family and also alone.

The phrase 'spend my time home' is incorrect; it should be 'spend my time at home'. Adding 'also' clarifies the inclusion of both options.

× I prefer both but I prefer most of the time staying alone so that I can connect to my inner self and just know better about me every day and just re refunctioning about my thoughts and working working towards them which.

✓ I prefer both, but most of the time I prefer staying alone so that I can connect with my inner self, understand myself better every day, reflect on my thoughts, and work towards them.

The sentence is run-on and contains repetition and awkward phrasing. 'Connect to' should be 'connect with'. 'Know better about me' is incorrect; 'understand myself better' is correct. 'Re refunctioning' is incorrect; 'reflect on' is appropriate. Removing repeated words and restructuring improves clarity.

× I prefer a leisurely all day so that I can rest, relax and recharge throughout the week.

✓ I prefer a leisurely day so that I can rest, relax, and recharge throughout the week.

'A leisurely all day' is incorrect; it should be 'a leisurely day'. Adding commas improves readability.

× So I I I would like to just sit and relax and cook the best my favorite delicious food at home.

✓ So I would like to just sit, relax, and cook my favorite delicious food at home.

Repetition of 'I' is unnecessary. 'Cook the best my favorite delicious food' is awkward; 'cook my favorite delicious food' is correct.

× I would like to cook for myself and just eat, sleep, Netflix, repeat for all for the whole weekend.

✓ I would like to cook for myself and just eat, sleep, watch Netflix, and repeat this for the whole weekend.

'Netflix' as a verb is informal; 'watch Netflix' is clearer. Adding 'this' clarifies the repetition. Removing extra 'for' improves grammar.

× Actually I prefer both. Like it depends on how well I have planned my throughout the week.

✓ Actually, I prefer both. It depends on how well I have planned my week.

'My throughout the week' is incorrect; it should be 'my week'. Removing 'Like' at the start of the second sentence improves formality.

× If my whole week is too busy, I will. I prefer a peaceful holiday if my whole week is completely like a very.

✓ If my whole week is too busy, I prefer a peaceful holiday.

The sentence is incomplete and contains unnecessary fragments. Simplifying to a clear conditional sentence improves clarity.

× If I don't have much work throughout the week, I prefer a adventurous holiday where I can explore new sports.

✓ If I don't have much work throughout the week, I prefer an adventurous holiday where I can explore new sports.

'A adventurous' is incorrect; it should be 'an adventurous' because 'adventurous' starts with a vowel sound.