Holidays— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to provide a more complete and structured answer by starting with a clear topic sentence and then adding specific details. Also, avoid minor grammatical errors and redundancy. For example, instead of saying "it's really hot in there," you can say "The weather was very hot and sunny, which made the beach visits enjoyable."

例: Last holiday, I went to Bali in Indonesia. The weather was very hot and sunny, which made the beach visits enjoyable. I also tried some local food and visited cultural sites, which made the trip memorable.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by using linking words to connect ideas smoothly and by correcting grammar. Also, try to be more concise and avoid repetition. For example, use "because" to explain reasons and avoid repeating "time".

例: Yes, I really like holidays because they give me a chance to relax from school pressure. Moreover, I can meet up with my friends and socialise, which helps me feel refreshed.

提案: Try to organize your answer more clearly by using linking words and avoiding repetition. Also, pay attention to grammar and sentence structure. For example, say "I love Christmas because it is during the season of my birthday, and my family and friends get together to celebrate, exchange gifts, and have parties."

例: I love Christmas the most because it coincides with my birthday. During this season, my family and friends gather to celebrate, exchange gifts, and enjoy parties together.

提案: Improve your answer by using clearer sentence structures and linking words like "usually" and "sometimes" to show contrast. Also, avoid filler words like "like" and be more specific about your activities.

例: During holidays, I usually rest at home because I need time to recharge. However, sometimes if I am free, I go to the beach with my friends, which I find very relaxing.

提案: Your answer is clear but can be improved by correcting grammar and using linking words to connect ideas. For example, say "Yes, I like spending my day at home because, as an introvert, I prefer less socializing and need time to recharge."

例: Yes, I enjoy spending my day at home because, as an introvert, I prefer minimal socializing and need time to recharge my energy.

提案: Try to make your answer more fluent and avoid repetition. Use linking words like "because" and "so" to explain your preferences clearly. Also, correct grammar mistakes such as "a leisurely holiday rather than a busy one."

例: I prefer a leisurely holiday rather than a busy one because if I have a tight schedule, I don't get enough rest. So, when I organise my own time, I feel more comfortable and relaxed.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by using linking words and more precise vocabulary. For example, say "I prefer an exciting holiday because I enjoy interesting activities such as travelling or attending special events with my friends, which make the holiday more enjoyable."

例: I prefer an exciting holiday because I enjoy interesting activities like travelling or attending special events with my friends, which make the holiday more enjoyable.

× Last holiday I went to Bali in Indonesia and it's really hot in there.

✓ Last holiday I went to Bali in Indonesia and it was really hot there.

The sentence mixes past tense ('went') with present tense ('it's really hot'). Since the holiday is in the past, the description of the weather should also be in past tense ('it was'). Also, 'in there' is unnecessary; 'there' suffices.

× Yeah, I really like holidays as it give me a time to relax from the pressure I got in school and during holidays I can go meet up with my friends and hang out and we get a time to socialise.

✓ Yeah, I really like holidays as they give me time to relax from the pressure I get at school, and during holidays I can meet up with my friends and hang out, and we get time to socialise.

The modal verb 'give' should be 'give' to agree with plural subject 'holidays' (subject-verb agreement). Also, 'a time' is incorrect; 'time' is uncountable here. 'I got' should be 'I get' to indicate habitual present. 'Go meet up' is redundant; 'meet up' suffices.

× In my opinion I love Christmas and I think this is the best public holiday as in Christmas season is my birthday and we get together together as in friends and family and we can have a party and receive different gifts from others and we exchange gift.

✓ In my opinion, I love Christmas and I think this is the best public holiday because the Christmas season is my birthday, and we get together as friends and family. We can have a party, receive different gifts from others, and exchange gifts.

'Christmas season' needs 'the' before it. 'Together together' is redundant. 'As in friends and family' should be 'as friends and family'. 'Exchange gift' should be plural 'exchange gifts' to match 'different gifts'.

× During holidays I usually just sleep at home as I think like I need a time to rest and sometimes if I'm free I will like to go to the beach with my friends and it's really relaxing.

✓ During holidays, I usually just sleep at home because I think I need time to rest, and sometimes if I'm free, I would like to go to the beach with my friends, and it's really relaxing.

'I will like' is incorrect; the correct modal verb phrase is 'I would like' to express preference. 'A time' should be 'time' as it is uncountable. 'As I think like' is awkward; 'because I think' is better.

× Yeah, I really like to spend my day because as a introvert person, I don't really like socializing and I need some rest at home to recharge myself, and spending at home can make me rest more.

✓ Yeah, I really like to spend my day at home because, as an introverted person, I don't really like socializing and I need some rest at home to recharge, and staying at home helps me rest more.

'As a introvert person' should be 'as an introverted person' for correct article and adjective form. 'Recharge myself' is awkward; 'recharge' alone suffices. 'Spending at home' is incorrect; 'staying at home' is better.

× I prefer a leisurely holiday than a busy one as I think if I have a tight schedule I don't. I don't feel like I have enough rest. But if I have a leisure holiday I can just organise, organise my the time by myself and it will make me more comfortable.

✓ I prefer a leisurely holiday to a busy one because I think if I have a tight schedule, I don't feel like I have enough rest. But if I have a leisurely holiday, I can organise my time by myself, and it makes me more comfortable.

The correct preposition after 'prefer' is 'to', not 'than'. 'Leisure holiday' should be 'leisurely holiday' (adjective form). The sentence was fragmented; combining and correcting improves clarity. 'Organise, organise my the time' is redundant and incorrect; 'organise my time' is correct.

× I would prefer an exciting holiday as I like different things that are interesting like travelling or having a special event with my friends which will make me have more excitement on holidays.

✓ I would prefer an exciting holiday because I like different interesting things like travelling or having special events with my friends, which make my holidays more exciting.

'As' is better replaced by 'because' for clarity. 'Different things that are interesting' is wordy; 'different interesting things' is more concise. 'Make me have more excitement' is awkward; 'make my holidays more exciting' is better.