Holidays— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Please try to use correct grammar and clearer vocabulary. Also, avoid redundancy and make your answer more natural by directly answering the question first, then adding specific details. For example, clarify the place name and its significance more clearly.

例: For my last holiday, I visited the Brown Strawberry Lake in my hometown. It is a famous and sacred place because many people believe that the Lord created the universe from there.

提案: Try to improve sentence structure and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, be careful with subject-verb agreement and pronouns.

例: Yes, I like holidays because they give people the opportunity to enjoy time with their families. Moreover, holidays provide a much-needed break from hectic daily routines.

提案: Please clarify your answer and use correct vocabulary. Avoid unclear phrases like 'second search' and 'to be connection'. Also, structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words.

例: My favourite public holiday is the second Saturday of the month because it falls just before Sunday. This gives me enough time to relax and spend quality moments with my family.

提案: Use correct verb forms and clearer expressions. Also, organise your answer logically with linking words to show contrast and variety in activities.

例: Depending on the situation, I sometimes do housework and chores. However, I also have responsibilities outside the home. On the other hand, I enjoy spending time with my friends during holidays.

提案: Please improve grammar and clarity. Avoid confusing phrases like 'I won't add the countryside area'. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific examples.

例: Yes, it depends on my mood. Sometimes I prefer to spend my holidays at home, but other times I like to go out and hang out with my friends. For example, on my last holiday, I visited the countryside with my friends and had a great time.

提案: Try to complete your sentences and avoid incomplete thoughts. Use clear expressions and linking words to explain your preferences logically.

例: I prefer both types of holidays. When I feel tired, I enjoy a leisurely holiday to relax. However, sometimes I like a busy holiday because staying active keeps my mind engaged and happy.

提案: Use complete sentences and correct grammar. Avoid repeating 'as well as' multiple times. Provide a clear topic sentence followed by specific supporting details with linking words.

例: I prefer an exciting holiday because I enjoy visiting new places with my friends and family. For instance, on my last holiday, I went to a beautiful park located 10 kilometres from my hometown.

× I want to the brown strawberry leg that is located in my hometown.

✓ I went to the Brown Strawberry Lake that is located in my hometown.

The verb 'want' is incorrectly used instead of 'went' to indicate past movement. Also, the preposition 'to' is correct with 'went'. The place name should be capitalized and corrected to 'Lake' if that is the intended word.

× It is a famous place in my hometown and it is also a religion and holy place because it is believed by some people that the Lord drama create a universe from this place.

✓ It is a famous place in my hometown and it is also a religious and holy place because some people believe that the Lord Drama created the universe from this place.

The adjective 'religion' should be 'religious' to describe the place. The verb 'create' should be in past tense 'created' to match the past belief. 'Believed by some people' is better expressed as 'some people believe' for clarity.

× Yes, I like holidays because in my view it is the time when the person have the opportunity to enjoy with their families as well as time for himself like he's like a break from a hectic day.

✓ Yes, I like holidays because in my view it is the time when a person has the opportunity to enjoy with their family as well as time for himself; it's like a break from a hectic day.

The subject 'person' is singular, so the verb should be 'has' not 'have'. 'Families' should be 'family' to match singular 'person'. The phrase 'he's like' is incorrect and should be 'it's like' referring to 'time'.

× To be connection, I like the second search, the public holiday because it's just before the Sunday and I get the time.

✓ To be honest, I like the second Saturday, the public holiday, because it's just before Sunday and I get the time.

'To be connection' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'To be honest'. 'Second search' should be 'second Saturday'. The article 'the' before 'Sunday' is unnecessary.

× It means enough time to enjoy and spend with my family.

✓ It means enough time to enjoy and spend with my family.

This sentence is correct and needs no correction.

× Depend on my situation, sometime I compare to do house works and some home chores, sometime I have the responsibility for outside homework, but on the other side I enjoy with my friends on holiday.

✓ Depending on my situation, sometimes I choose to do housework and some home chores; sometimes I have the responsibility for outside work, but on the other hand, I enjoy time with my friends on holidays.

'Depend on' should be 'Depending on'. 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes'. 'Compare to do' is incorrect; 'choose to do' is appropriate. 'House works' should be 'housework' (uncountable). 'Homework' is academic work; 'outside work' or 'outside chores' is better. 'Enjoy with my friends' should be 'enjoy time with my friends'.

× Yes, it should depend on my mood.

✓ Yes, it depends on my mood.

'Should' is incorrectly used here; the correct modal is not needed. The simple present 'depends' is appropriate to express habitual action.

× Sometime I like to spend my holiday at home, but sometime I give preference to go outside and hang out with my friends.

✓ Sometimes I like to spend my holiday at home, but sometimes I prefer to go outside and hang out with my friends.

'Sometime' should be 'sometimes' to indicate frequency. 'Give preference to go' is awkward; 'prefer to go' is better.

× As far as I remember on my last holiday, I won't add the countryside area where I enjoyed with my friends.

✓ As far as I remember, on my last holiday, I went to the countryside area where I enjoyed time with my friends.

'I won't add' is incorrect; likely intended 'I went to'. 'Enjoyed with my friends' should be 'enjoyed time with my friends' or 'enjoyed being with my friends'.

× Well, I prefer both because whenever I feel tired then I prefer leisurely or free holiday but only sometime.

✓ Well, I prefer both because whenever I feel tired, I prefer a leisurely or free holiday, but only sometimes.

'Sometime' should be 'sometimes'. 'Leisurely or free holiday' needs an article 'a' before it.

× I prefer busy holiday because I think free mind has the House of a devil and if I engaged in different activity I.

✓ I prefer a busy holiday because I think a free mind is the house of the devil, and if I am engaged in different activities, I feel better.

'Busy holiday' needs an article 'a'. 'Free mind has the House of a devil' is an idiomatic expression and should be 'a free mind is the house of the devil'. 'Engaged' needs auxiliary 'am' for present tense. 'Activity' should be plural 'activities'.

× Prefer an exciting holiday because I like to always visit new place on my holiday with my friends as well as with my family member as well as I remember on my last holiday I went at the beautiful places that located 10 kilometer away from my hometown and it is a beautiful park.

✓ I prefer an exciting holiday because I always like to visit new places on my holiday with my friends as well as with my family members. I remember on my last holiday I went to beautiful places located 10 kilometers away from my hometown, and there was a beautiful park.

The sentence lacks a subject at the start. 'New place' should be plural 'new places'. 'Family member' should be plural 'family members'. 'Went at' should be 'went to'. 'Kilometer' should be plural 'kilometers'. The sentence is long and needs to be split for clarity.