Holidays— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but contains some redundancy and minor grammatical errors. For example, you repeated 'water park' twice. Try to avoid repetition and use linking words to make your answer more coherent. Also, be careful with singular and plural forms. Keep your answer concise and natural within 5 sentences.

例: For my last holiday, I travelled to Malaysia with my family to celebrate my 16th birthday. We visited vibrant cities like Kuala Lumpur and Genting, where we enjoyed various amusement and water parks. Additionally, shopping in the bustling markets was the highlight of our trip.

提案: Your answer conveys your feelings well but has some awkward phrasing and redundancy. For example, 'Holidays are my favorite' is repetitive after 'I love holidays'. Also, 'spending college time' seems incorrect. Try to use more natural expressions and link your ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I love holidays, especially Christmas, because it's a special time when my family can come together and enjoy each other's company without work distractions. The festive decorations and joyful atmosphere make the holidays even more enjoyable.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by combining short sentences and using linking words for better flow. Also, avoid starting sentences with 'Of course' without context. Try to make your answer more cohesive and natural.

例: I particularly cherish Christmas because of the joyful and magical atmosphere it creates. The gift exchange and delicious food are the best parts, and they help strengthen my family's bonds as we spend quality time together.

提案: Your answer is detailed and relevant but could be improved by avoiding vague phrases like 'and so on'. Use specific examples and linking words to make your answer more coherent and natural.

例: During holidays, I like to spend quality time with my family by playing games and watching movies. Additionally, we enjoy visiting new places and trying local food. We often go to the beach to swim, surf, and participate in other water sports.

提案: Your answer is clear but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 're relieve' and 'makes me feel more enthusiastic'. Try to use simpler, correct expressions and link your ideas smoothly.

例: No, I don't like spending the whole day at home. I prefer going out to explore new cafes, visit new places, and meet new people. Being outside refreshes my mind and helps me feel more energetic, relieving the stress of daily life.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains some errors and incomplete sentences. For example, 'tracking' should be 'trekking', and the last sentence is incomplete. Also, avoid repeating 'different'. Try to complete your thoughts and use correct vocabulary.

例: I prefer busy holidays because I enjoy gaining new experiences by exploring various activities and places. For instance, last year I went trekking, which was both thrilling and challenging. It improved my physical fitness and gave me a great sense of accomplishment.

提案: Your answer is good and clear but can be improved by linking your ideas more smoothly and avoiding short, choppy sentences. Also, try to add a concluding sentence to wrap up your answer naturally.

例: I prefer an exciting holiday because I love adventure sports like trekking and hiking. Water sports are also my favorite; for example, last year I went to the Maldives and tried scuba diving, which amazed me with the feeling of being underwater. Overall, such experiences make my holidays memorable.

× We explored vibrant cities such as Kuala Lumpur and Genting where we enjoyed water park, water parks and amusement parks.

✓ We explored vibrant cities such as Kuala Lumpur and Genting where we enjoyed water parks and amusement parks.

The phrase 'water park' is singular but used alongside plural 'water parks' which is inconsistent. Since multiple parks are implied, 'water parks' should be plural to match the context.

× Moreover, I think the best part of holiday in Malaysia was shopping in the bustling markets.

✓ Moreover, I think the best part of the holiday in Malaysia was shopping in the bustling markets.

The phrase 'part of holiday' is missing the definite article 'the' before 'holiday' to specify the particular holiday being discussed.

× I think it is the time of the year where my family can get together and enjoy spending college time with each other without being distracted or burdened by work.

✓ I think it is the time of the year when my family can get together and enjoy spending quality time with each other without being distracted or burdened by work.

The relative adverb 'where' is incorrectly used for time; 'when' is appropriate. Also, 'college time' is likely a mistake; 'quality time' fits the context better.

× Everything is so shining and well decorated.

✓ Everything is so shiny and well decorated.

The adjective 'shining' is a present participle and describes an action, but here an adjective 'shiny' is needed to describe the state or quality of 'everything'.

× During holidays, I prefer to pass the days by spending quality time with my family, playing games with them, watching movies and so on.

✓ During holidays, I prefer to pass the days spending quality time with my family, playing games with them, watching movies and so on.

The phrase 'prefer to pass the days by spending' is awkward; 'prefer to pass the days spending' is more natural and grammatically correct.

× I think being outside helps me refresh my mind and makes me feel more enthusiastic.

✓ I think being outside helps me refresh my mind and makes me feel more enthusiastic.

No correction needed here; sentence is grammatically correct.

× This helps re relieve all the burden of my life.

✓ This helps relieve all the burdens of my life.

The phrase 're relieve' is incorrect; 'relieve' is correct. Also, 'burden' should be plural 'burdens' to match the context of multiple difficulties.

× I prefer busy holidays rather than leisure holidays because I enjoy gaining new experiences from exploring different activities and different places.

✓ I prefer busy holidays rather than leisurely holidays because I enjoy gaining new experiences from exploring different activities and different places.

The adjective 'leisure' should be 'leisurely' to correctly describe the type of holidays.

× For instance, last year I went on a tracking that was both thrilling and challenging.

✓ For instance, last year I went on a trek that was both thrilling and challenging.

The noun 'tracking' is incorrect here; the correct word is 'trek' to describe a hiking journey.

× During that time I improved my physical fitness, but this also gave me a self accomplishment and.

✓ During that time I improved my physical fitness, and this also gave me a sense of self-accomplishment.

The phrase 'a self accomplishment and' is incomplete and incorrect. It should be 'a sense of self-accomplishment' to express the feeling of achievement.